je te rends ton amour
by Paradoxalpoised
Summary: Chapter 16: A surprising day and an interesting drive lead Rosalie and Bella to an unexpected turn of events.
1. Chapter 1: Get out

**Synopsis: "**The noblest battles are always fought in vain." Act Five, Scene VI of _Cyrano de Bergerac_. As Bella's life is slipping away, Rosalie is the one to stand for her.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan's Residence, Saturday September 17th 2005.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

We were driving on the I-5, not far from Bellingham, on our way to Canada and away from the cursed nowhere little town of Forks, Washington. Away from a particular human, and I was surprised to find myself unsatisfied. We were running, and a Hale does not run, from anything or anyone. We were running, and Edward was delusional, as per usual, thinking even for a second that Bella would forget, and simply go back to normal.

Normal did not mean anything to the girl anymore, not after she had met us, and that, is precisely why she should not have.

Alice had argued and screamed. She had fought him with all of her might. Carving Edward's face into boulders and trees, showering him of her punches and kicks, but he had not caved. I thought for a fraction of a second, when she saw his decision, that she was actually going to kill him. Her favorite brother, lying on the ground, cracked and defeated, but she only had looked away, on her knees by his side, heartbroken. She had grown silent, and sobbed dry inexistent tears of sorrow and despair, so hard, and if her trembling little frame had not shaken Edward's resolve, then nothing would.

Bella was a menace. Each and every one of the Cullen was in love with her a way or another. She had tamed vampires. To my utter astonishment and any of their better judgment, this girl, this human, had tamed a full coven of vampires, but me. 'I, Rosalie Lillian Hale, shall not be tamed. I am Rosalie Lillian Hale, I shall not be tamed, n_o man nor god nor vampire can even caress the hope of taming a Hale, certainly not an insignificant nothing of a little human girl, and certainly not this Hal_e.'

This was aggravating, why could I not shake this nagging feeling? '_She is not my responsibility, she is Edward's… Fuck, fuck, fuck.__'_

"Emmett, something is wrong. This isn't right." I said, looking at him intently.

Emmett nodded to me, a happier look on his innocent face than any he had been showing since Edward had decided to leave the girl, to leave Forks.

I spun my M3 in a power slide u-turn, as Emmett called Carlisle on his cell phone. Whatever they said was lost on me, as I pushed the beautiful roaring engine into a race back to the place, I was so grateful to have been leaving. We did not talk to each other. I could feel Emmett, eager, but surprisingly not as eager as I was.

We arrived at the Swan's residence at this precise moment when night and day flirt with each other, and the moon shines as bright as the morning sun. Chief Swan's cruiser was already gone. Not a brush of wind, not a breath of life, time was still, the house felt deserted and cold.

Something was very, very wrong.

I was out of the car and through the house front door in a blink, Emmett right behind me. I paused, taking in my surroundings.

"Bella?" I called softly.

I listened for the familiar rhythm of her heart, only to hear the faintest whisper of a heartbeat coming from upstairs.

Too faint.

I rushed up the stairs, ripped open the wooden bathroom door, and that is where I found her, the tip of her knees brushing the bathroom floor slightly, hanging from the broken shower frame, with what seemed to be climbing rope tight around her neck.

Her lips were blue, her mouth half open, drooling, the thin rope was biting her neck cruelly. Her face was contortioned and shot with hundred of exploded blood vessels, from gagging and fighting so hard to breathe, from suffocating, white and purple skin, with a multitude of red dots. Life was draining out of her, second by second in slow motion.

She had done the noose wrong, and she obviously had miscalculated the weight the shower frame could support. It had broken in half, still supporting her but not as much, and what should have been a quick, clean death, broken neck or crushed wind pipe, turned into a long and very painful agony by suffocation. She had tried to fight the noose, to untangle herself from the climbing rope. She had not stood a chance. The girl had failed, the lack of oxygen intoxicating her, able to breathe still, but not enough to bring the delicious nectar of life to her brain in the needed quantity, slowly sliding to unconsciousness, aware and helpless.

In less than one of her fading heartbeats, I had my arm around her waist, lifting her up to instantly release the pressure of her weight on the rope, ripping it from the shower frame, and loosening the knot, undoing the rope from around her throat.

I laid her on the floor, tilted her head back slightly and began insufflating air in her mouth, counting in my head "one, two, three … blow … one, two, three … blow … Breathe damn it, breathe! You stupid human, breathe!"

It took minutes - minutes - before she was breathing on her own again.

She coughed, and then winced in agony, then opened her eyes and looked at me, so lost from the well of her despair. Each breath was tearing her lungs apart, burning her like incandescent embers were shoved down her throat. She gagged, and then heaved. I lifted her and the toilet lid, and she vomited all the bile and foam of her empty stomach, not breathing again, spitting and choking.

"Breathe Bella, through your nose, slowly", she did as I instructed, and I felt her body relax into mine. "Yes, that's it, slow and steady breaths".

Holding her, I took the washing cloth on the side of the sink in the tiny bathroom, wetted it under the faucet, and gently cleaned her face, slightly tapping the wet cloth on her temple and forehead. She had pushed, gagged and heaved so hard, the exploded blood vessels made her face look swollen. She had two black eyes, as if she had gotten a serious beating. The flesh of her neck was purple and furiously red, veins searing from under the skin but I did not smell her blood, nor did I smell her sweat, her bile, or the wet area between her legs where she had peed herself.

I was sitting down on the bathroom tile floor with the girl in my arms, holding her ever so gently, supporting her back and head, slightly on the side to open up her airways, and let her recuperate a little. She had her eyes wide open, looking at me.

"I want my mommy," she whispered piteously.

I turned to Emmett. "Call her mother, now, please."

Emmett looked lost. "I don't have her number."

Men!

"Go to her room", I said as patiently as I could, "find her cell phone, which is probably on her night stand, and look up the contact "mom" okay?"

Emmett left and, moments later, I heard him speaking to Mrs. Swan ... No, Mrs. Dwyer ... But I had more important things to take care of.

Bella, in my arms, was softly crying. And that's when I knew.

I was going to rip that arrogant prick Edward Cullen into little tiny bits. What Alice had done to him would resemble foreplay, when I would be finished with him. More importantly, I, Rosalie Lillian Hale, was going to see Bella Swan through this, and she was going to stay alive.

The taste of life in her mouth had been divine, the fight of her blood racing back to her features was tantalizing. I could give her what she wanted, so easily. It would only take one single moment of weakness, and she would have her wish. The next words that came out of me were of strength and reassurance though.

"It's okay, Bella; I have got you now. You are safe, you are not alone, and I will not leave you." Because I am Rosalie Hale, and a Hale does not run, a Hale is not weak. A Hale does not abandon a weakling on the side of the road, a Hale will show them their own strength, and if they can't, a Hale will kill them. A Hale does not abandon their responsibility.

I slightly brushed my fingers over her throat and face, she sighed at the cool of my touch, relieving her from the fire biting at her skin.

She looked at me a bit longer, tears blurring her vision, her bottom lip quivering a little. Then she closed her eyes, and rested the side of her face against my breast.

Bella cried and cried and cried.

I closed my eyes with her, rocking her gently against my body, hushing her and reassuring her, until I heard her heartbeat calm down, and her breathing, although scratchy, become more even. She was asleep in my arms, so hurt and so fragile, so precious.

Despite the promise I had made myself that I would not associate with this human, I had to make myself a new promise. Bella Swan would want to live again, even if I had to hammer the will of life into her heart with my bare hands, and I would make damn sure she knew why.

I stayed there, holding her, not paying attention to anything but her heartbeat and her breathing, the warmth of her flesh against my breast, through the fabric of my shirt. Her sore body into my arms, until Emmett cleared his throat softly.

"Her mom said…" he started.

"I know what her mother said Emmett." I cut him off.

"So, is Bella going to be okay? Maybe we should take her to the hospital or something." He asked tentatively.

"No, no hospital, she committed suicide Emmett. She can't be left alone, and she can't be left to the care of the humans at the hospital. We can't trust what they would do or what she would say under the influence of the drugs and when they question her to assess her mental state." I explained in a very evenly tone.

"Plus there is nothing more they can do for her than we can do ourselves at this point." I added, opening my eyes to look at him.

"Oh okay", said Emmett, "maybe we should just ask Carlisle then", he added.

I felt my anger rise in my chest, and I was about to give Emmett a piece of my mind about Carlisle and his help, but Emmett spoke again quickly.

"It's just…look at her baby, she is all broken and blue and red, and …"

"Her body will heal and I have a MD myself, nothing I can't handle. It's inside that she is broken Emmett, and I highly doubt that Carlisle can fix this one, since he let it happen in the first place." I was getting angrier and angrier at my so called father by the minute.

"But babe, how are we going to do this? Bella's mom is coming and we should talk to Charlie too, but after that we've got to go, or Edward …" He then added, visibly conflicted. I could tell he was confused, he did not understand. He wanted the girl fixed, safe, because he did love her, but he had no understanding of the inner damage we had caused.

Emmett had liked Bella from the very beginning, he found her entertaining. I knew that he liked her all the more because I was resisting the girl's presence as much as I could. He liked the animation she had brought to the house, and how he could play with her and her ridiculous shyness, causing her to blush on purpose more often than not. He had loved being able to fight for her life, and carry her around when in public when she had had that cast on, delighted that she would let him, even enduring Alice's incessant jabber and enthusiasm, bossing him around like the big puppy that he was.

"Emmett, what did Carlisle say when you called him from the car?" I asked, my tone getting sharper.

"Well, he said Edward wanted us gone and that we should respect his decision, but …" Emmett was uncomfortable, he was dreading my reaction.

"What else?" I said, more collected.

"Well, he said since-you-are-so-hardheaded-and-you-set-your-mind- on-going-back-to-call-him-back-when-we-had-seen-Be lla-and-to-not-hurt-her-unnecessarily." He had blurted Carlisle's message as fast as he could, fearing my wrath.

I did not answer. I very delicately collected Bella in my arms, as not to wake her up, carrying her as If she were my bride, and walked in direction of her bedroom. Emmett immediately stepped out of my way and opened the girl's bedroom door.

I turned around, with Bella's face resting on my chest. "Get out".

I lay her on her bed, and went over to her closet. I retrieved fresh pajama bottoms and a clean shirt. I then opened her door and blurred to the bathroom getting a fresh wash cloth, a towel and some hot water in a small basin. Once back in the girl's room, I disposed the objects close to her night stand, and proceeded to undress her.

I undid her jeans very slowly and gently, she had a rash on her thighs from peeing herself already. I removed her underwear in a swift motion, then her shirt. She had no bra. I allowed myself a moment to take her in, she was truly beautiful. She was much more graceful in her sleep, her chest heaving up and down slowly, raising a firm breast round and well shaped, with a delicate nipple, almost inviting. Her stomach was toned, thanks to her youth, not to her abdominal muscles, embraced by small hips that actually were curvy, not that anyone could have noticed, with the way she usually dressed. The descent of her pubic bone to the birth of her pubic hair revealed the smoothest of her skin, one that had not been touched, ever. Her sex was delicate and pink, inward. She did not really need to trim the hair on her little kitten. Really her vagina was tiny, obviously untouched and one of the most childish looking part of her figure. A kitten is what it made me think of, soft and probably capable of a loud and delightful purring.

I engaged myself in cleaning her soiled skin thoroughly. Clean her off her pee, her bile and spit, her snot and tears. Brushing her skin up and done, feeling her relax in her sleep, as her body was enjoying the feathery light touch. I focused so hard on the grain of her skin, the beauty marks powdered on her skin like fallen drops of rain, wishing the warm water could wash away her death, her fears and pains, her despair, leaving her pure again, like her untouched little kitten, breathing the life and innocence of her unburdened soul.

Bella shivered lightly, and I was brought back to the reality of her situation, our situation. I dried her swiftly and dressed her, as gently as I had undressed her, into her fresh pajamas and shirt. She did not even stir in her sleep, completely surrendered, but to what exactly? '_To whom you mean? Because she is yours now. Yours to care for._'

My instincts violently recoiled from that thought, the truth of it overwhelming suddenly. I inhaled deeply, her scent caressing the inside of my nose, my mouth, my throat, my lungs, like honey coating every inch of my insights. I swallowed the moan that was born in the depth of me, venom scorching my throat as I did, straightening myself. _'You are a Hale, you will not falter and she will live, there is no other way.'_

A second later she was resting with her head on a pillow, wrapped in her fluffy comforter. I looked at her again, making sure she was comfortable, and that she could breathe. I opened the door signaling Emmett to come in, and then I rushed to the kitchen and took a bag of peas from the freezer. I returned to the bedroom with the peas enclosed in a thin towel, and softly applied it to the side of her neck that was visible.

"Stay here, and do not take your eyes off of her, not even for a second, okay? Apply this, very gently, to her neck throat and face at regular intervals so that the cold doesn't burn her." I indicated for him to take the towel with the peas from me.

"If she wakes up call me, but do not leave her side at any cost." I said to Emmett very seriously.

"Okay. What are you going to do?" He asked his head to the side a little.

"I'll be back." I said avoiding his question.

I walked out of the room, took the stairs and exited the house through the front door. Heading towards the woods at the back of the house, I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Carlisle's number.

"Rosalie." He greeted me.

"Father." I answered as caustic as I could be.

"How is Bella?" He asked concern in his voice, ignoring my use of the endearing word to insult him.

"Alive. For now." I answered, cryptic.

"Rosalie, just tell me what happened please." He said, calm, as much as he could.

"She hanged herself with climbing rope in her bathroom." I said my voice heavy with reproach. I heard Esme's gasp behind him. I could envision the agonizing look of pain on her beautiful features.

"We got to her at the last second. She was at it for a long time Carlisle. I had to do mouth to mouth resuscitation. She is marked and seriously shaken, but there is no internal damage. Physically she will recover in a couple of weeks or so."I carried on.

"I will come immediately" he said to me, firmly.

"Come alone Carlisle, and by that I mean don't bring anybody, certainly not Edward." My voice was almost threatening. I heard Esme's growl of protest, she wanted to be here, and she wanted to take care of the girl.

"Rosalie, she is Edward's …" He started.

"She's Edward's nothing!" I snarled at him in the phone, "Just come alone Carlisle." And I hung up.

I took a deep breath, '_What are you doing Rosalie?_' I asked myself, '_What needs to be done._' I answered myself.

I dialed Charlie Swan's phone number next, using Bella's phone, now in my other pocket, to find the digits.

"Chief Swan, it is Rosalie Hale with the Cullen family." I introduced myself. From the background sounds, I decided that he was in a dinner, probably for some morning sustenance. "You need to drive back home now sir, there is a situation with Bella." Really there were not many ways to tell a father his daughter needed him right then.

"What! Where is Bella, is she alright?" He was frantic, though trying to control it.

"Bella is not in danger now sir, and she is not badly injured, but she almost died a few minutes ago." I said calmly.

"I am already on my way, what happened?" he asked, the sound of a car's engine starting.

"I would rather not explain it to you on the phone sir. We already contacted Mrs. Dwyer, she will be here as soon as possible and my father will be here shortly to fully examine her."

"Okay." He said, sounding confused and worried.

"She is safe now Chief Swan. Will you be long?" I asked, hoping to give him something concrete to think over.

"I was out to Port Angeles for a Joint Police Task Force meeting, I am driving as fast as I can, give me 30 minutes." He answered right away.

"Be safe while driving, sir, please. I will see you in thirty minutes." We did not need Bella's father having an accident while rushing to his daughter's side.

"I will." he said, and I hung up.

I needed to kill something … really badly.

Putting the phone back in my pocket, I then sprung forward, in a powerful and determined run; I only stopped in the woods close to the Cullen's property. I paused and relaxed, listening, and breathing, waiting patiently for my senses to find something to kill and they did.

The couple of deer I drained where not life-altering but I needed to sink my teeth in something alive, if the girl were to retain a heartbeat, because I would be much more efficient at killing her than a climbing rope, and a broken shower frame.

Twenty minutes later, I was back at the Swan Residence, standing outside on the front porch, ready to face Charlie Swan, Carlisle Cullen, and everything else that was coming at Bella.

She was going to live, and I would be the one holding her while she fought, fighting for her if I had to.

She was mine now.

End of discussion.

I was terrified.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] The title of this story is the title of a song « Je te rends ton amour » by Mylène Farmer on her album _Inamoramento _which came out in 1999. The video was a huge scandal and censored from several TV channels. The Catholic Church declared it blasphemy. I didn't choose it because of the religious content of the video but because the words fit and well yes, I always love a bit of controversy, what can I say. The words are French, and they mean "I return your love" not as in I reciprocate it, but as in I give it back to you.

[2] I have edited a few sentences, one of them referring to Alice sobbing. I know vampire do not cry, I meant to say that Alice was going through the motion of the crying without the actual crying. And yet it bothers me, because I am thinking, their (as in the vampires) bodies are supernatural now, and if vampire can naturally not cry (as if in their supernatural nature) then would their bodies be capable of experiencing the natural human need to cry and the bodily effects other than the actual physical tears? Meaning go through the motion of an emotional fit of crying, without crying, because they want to cry, or would they simply not want to cry because they can not produce tears. Then comes the factor of memories, though Alice doesn't have any, so it's quite complicated for her, although there is such a thing as body memory, skin memory, organ memory, ghost limbs, and you know, the whole subconscious memory and repressed memories too. Obviously I went with the dry sobbing but I feel unsatisfied on the issue.

Thank you for reading this chapter, and your kind support.

C.


	2. Chapter 2: Repartee

**Synopsis: **Charlie comes home to Bella as Rosalie is waiting for Carlisle.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan's Residence, Saturday September 17th 2005, later in the morning.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

"Emmett" I said softly, still standing on the front porch of the Swan Residence, "Any changes?" I could hear everything in the room, I just needed to talk with him.

"No, she is still sleeping." He answered, "What are you going to tell Charlie?" He asked, a note of worry tainting his voice.

"Good question." I told myself, "The truth … mostly." I said out loud, "We need him to agree to leave the girl in our care."

"Oh, okay." He continued, "And after that, what's the plan? 'cause we can't take her to Denali with us, Edward is going to know, and then Alice is going to freak when we have to send Bella back when she's not broken anymore."

I knew he was thinking, '_Or we could change her and that would be the end of our troubles._' But he knew better.

"_We _are not going to Denali, you are." I said, hearing him stand up.

"What?"

"Do not even think of coming out of this room, and quiet down, you're going to wake her up!" I snapped at him.

"I don't want to go to Denali without you …" I could hear the pout on his face, and I smiled at him because he could not see me.

"Emmett, you knew I would not stay in Denali with you, and this, well this is just making it sooner than we thought, but the situation is the same." I told him calmly, "We talked about this."

"But… Before I would have had time to change your mind and…" He replied, pained.

"Emmett, now is not the time to talk about this. Chief Swan will be here any minute."

"When are we going to talk about it then?" He asked, like a boy who knows he is not going to get his way.

"I can't give you what you need, Emmett, I can't stay with you in Denali because I will never be able to give you what you need. This has been going on long enough. I love you, and I always will, but that's not a good enough reason to ruin your life." I said to him, as gently as I could.

"But you love me and I love you, maybe we can…" he started.

"You need a woman who loves your dick, Emmett!"

"Who will love your dick for eternity, and whom you will cherish and treasure because she loves you as her man, not her friend, and loves your dick, and she makes you happy." I interrupted, "Any woman who will not fit all three prerogatives will not be suitable for you, and I don't meet any of the requirements."

"Bu …"

"There is no but. You will go to Denali, as planned, and you will see from there how things are going to be for you, without me to keep you from happiness. Understood?" I demanded.

His response came a little later, defeated, "Yes, Rosalie."

I wanted to run upstairs and hold his face to me, to tell him how much I hated to have to hurt him this way. I did not though, because he needed to feel this. He needed to go and not look back. He had to go through the grieving process. Hate me if necessary because he deserved to be happy, and I simply could not lie anymore. We had been '_together_' for seventy years, and in all these years, I had let him '_touch_' me one time, and one time only. That had resulted in Emmett flying backward 250 yards through our bedroom wall, the living room wall, the barn, a few trees and rocks. I had his left arm in my hand when I looked down. Needless to say he never '_touched_' me again. Not that he did not try, but I never allowed it. With years passing and Alice's help, I had started to understand why.

I did not dwell on those thoughts too long though, Charlie Swan was going to be here soon, and I needed to think of something to say. I was suddenly missing Alice, tremendously. She was, of us all, the best actress. Although I could get away with just as much as she did in terms of lying, her performances were somewhat more emotional than mine. She knew Chief Swan, and he loved her. I was simply the intimidating blonde goddess, and sometimes, one needed to be a little sparkly, warm pixie.

All I needed was for the girl's father to trust me, and not call an ambulance until Carlisle arrived. My _beloved_ father would be able to dissuade the Chief of Police to send Bella to Forks hospital, unless he wanted his adored daughter, and himself, to be the center of gossip for the next two or three generations to come. No, he would not want that for her. If Carlisle and I could convince him to have her treated in Seattle, where there was much better care and Dr Cullen knew a great therapist and support groups for teenagers in Bella's position, where she would stay with us in our loft and could be home schooled, visiting her cherished father every weekend, certainly he would agree to that. It was doing what was best for Bella, really. It just happened to be what was best for us as well.

In any case, the girl would stay under my supervision, and that is all that mattered. It would simply be smoother if Chief Swan could go with the plan.

My phone rang just then. It was Carlisle.

"Carlisle." I greeted him, "Are you coming alone?"

"Yes." He said, "We made up with Alice and Jasper at the border, Esme went with them for now. I pretended a medical emergency back in Forks, explaining I could not decently turn the hospital down when in such a need, considering I left on such short notice."

"Good. I am still amazed Alice has yet to uncover us." I answered thoughtfully.

"It is unexpected, _en effet_. I would not be surprised though if the emotional shock had temporarily disabled Alice's gift, not without saying that she is probably focusing really hard on avoiding '_seeing_' anything about Bella right now. Alice is so very fond of the girl, we all are, this is really an unfortunate situation." He explained softly. "Maybe she has seen what is to come and knows what we don't, forcing her to stay away. You know Alice..." He added.

"Yes I do." I answered simply, "Either way it is best right now that only you and I interact with Bella and her parents."

"Where do you plan on taking her?" He asked calmly.

"Seattle." I answered shortly, covering my semi-surprise at his understanding of my plan without any explanations. Carlisle was a very intelligent man, even if I would certainly not admit it any time soon.

"Excellent. She will still be able to see her father and have a decent chance at recovering." I knew he was thinking around the same lines I had been just seconds ago. "If we work on it together, we should be able to convince Charlie."

"I will let you make the first move on the Seattle idea. I am just going to stop him from calling 911 and getting her admitted here in Forks." I responded to him.

"Rosalie, if I may ask?" He voiced softly, "Why do you wish to remain with Bella?"

His question was legitimate, though I had wished he would not ask it. I wanted to be angry with Carlisle, not confide my resolve and sudden tenderness for the girl into my father. The fact that I did not know if he would understand and love me all the more for it, or side with his beloved Edward again, made it even more important that we did not touch the subject for now. My guess was he would probably think this was a bad idea, _and_ understand and love me all the more for it.

"You may not." I answered curtly. "Chief Swan will be here in five minutes if his estimate was correct, where are you?"

"I'll be there in two hours." he said, serious.

"Very well then, I'll see you in two hours." I said, "Goodbye, Father." I hung up the phone hastily. I had used the word beside myself, and it infuriated me instantly.

Taking deep calming breaths, I listened to Bella's heartbeat, and the soothing melody of her breathing, matching mine to hers, making sure she was asleep and not unconscious. So far her body had been cooperative. I was worried that she might go into shock. The girl was not the most solid human I had met, and she had been deprived of oxygen for a few minutes. Sleeping meant she was healing, and that was the first thing I would say to her father, sleeping was good. If Emmett had done his job with the peas, the swelling would have had reduced by now as well as some of the redness. Hopefully she was not completely purple just yet.

As I was reflecting on the girl's physical state, I heard the sound of a car that resembled Charlie Swan's cruiser. I recognized the sound of the Chevrolet Impala's engine, nothing sexy about it. Soon enough he appeared in my sight of vision, and was parked in front of his house, hurrying himself out of the vehicle.

I walked toward him, meeting him halfway.

"Where is she? What happened?" He said, sounding scared and tired.

"She is asleep in her bed, she is okay for now." I answered him.

He made to go past me, fully intending on climbing the stairs to go see for himself if his daughter was fine, but I stepped in his way.

"Chief Swan, I promise you, she is not in danger right now, and Emmett is in her room watching over her. Please sit with me for a moment so I can explain what happened? My father guided me every step of the way, and he said to let her sleep until he arrives. Please, Charlie?" I was pleading a bit, and I could see the sorrow and inner conflict on his features.

Finally he gave in, "Okay, if Dr Cullen says so, but you better have a good explanation for all this." He warned.

"I'll tell you everything," I said earnestly, "let's step inside and I'll make you some tea."

We went through the front door, and in the kitchen, where I located the kettle and filled it with water before putting it on the stove to heat. I took out a mug from the first cupboard I opened. It was from the Quileute's reservation souvenirs shop, I smiled inwardly at the irony. In the next cupboard was an assortment of different tea flavors, and I chose a generic looking earl grey tea, getting the small bottle of honey as well.

I put the items on the counter, preparing the tea bag in the mug, with a generous spoon of honey, thinking he might have needed a generous lamp of brandy instead. There was only the water left, so I turned around, to face him.

"Did you know that Edward, and the rest of my family, were leaving during the night?" I asked him calmly.

"I figured he'd broken up with her or something, because you guys were leaving, and that he had waited till the last minute." He answered, "Then she came back home last night completely devastated, she just went right to her room and to bed." He had a frown on his forehead, deep with worry and pain.

"Edward did break up with her." I said, and after all it was the truth, "He is going abroad to finish his senior year and graduate, in London."

"My father was offered a chair with John Hopkins, to familiarize selected surgery teams around the world with a couple new procedures he invented for Trauma Centers." I carried on telling him the truth. Carlisle did have credential with John Hopkins, Harvard Medical and other medical universities and hospitals, because he was a brilliant surgeon, and JH Medical had indeed asked him to train many of his peers. He had simply yet to call them and accept the offer. I knew he intended to.

"We were leaving Forks tonight, for a long drive to Maryland, at least some of us, to have my father settled in our estate of Colombia before he starts traveling. It appears we all have different projects this year." I went on.

"Anyway, we all felt that Edward was being over dramatic, especially after their fight during the birthday party, by somehow forcing us to leave without a word to Bella, and as I was driving with Emmett, I felt it was completely unacceptable." He was not interrupting me at all, or rushing me to the point. It was good, my story was working, and everything sounded just about fitting and normal. It also meant he was dreading what was coming next, and I thought that he probably had a feeling of what Bella had done, he just wasn't eager to hear it.

"We turned around and drove back here, about an hour ago." I was hoping he would not ask where Alice was in all this, the two girls were best friends, and Chief Swan would probably find it weird at some point that Alice was not on her way.

"When we entered the house, everything was quiet, so we went upstairs, and I found Bella hanging from your shower frame. She tried to commit suicide, sir, I am sorry." I let it out, waiting for his reaction.

"Oh God…" he said, "I should not have left her alone." His face fell in his hands.

"Sir, she wants to die, if it had not been this morning then she would have done it another time, when you were not with her. You did not know and you could not have known." I said trying to reassure him a little.

"We found her in time sir. She has bruises and marks on her face and throat and she is pretty swollen, but my father said it is to be expected and should heal fast." I told him so he would not be too shocked with her physical appearance. "He will examine her further when he gets here, but he said it is good that she is sleeping."

He was a cop. He could put two and two together. Hopefully he would not ask me why we had not called an ambulance or taken her to the emergency room. The kettle started whistling, and I turned back around, facing the counter to pour the hot water in Chief Swan's mug. I put it down by him and sat in the chair in front of him.

"Is he sure she can wait for him to be here?" He asked, letting me know he did do the math on his own.

"Yes, he made me check her vitals and for several symptoms or hints of complications or breathing issues. He said that physically it sounded like she was hurt, but not enough to further endanger her life." I answered him with as much conviction as I could master.

"She asked for Mrs. Dwyer as soon as she regained consciousness, so we took the liberty to call her and ask her to fly in immediately, she will be calling with her flight information soon." I went on.

"Thank you for that, and well... Thank you for saving my little girl too." He said humbly.

"I am so sorry Chief Swan that Bella felt she needed to resort to such a desperate gesture, I am glad we got here on time and we were able to save her."

_'Such a terrible gesture because of my idiotic brother and my family.'_ I should have added, but we did not want Chief Swan going there.

"Call me Charlie." He said rather piteously, "I think I am gonna go check on her now, while we're waiting for Dr Cullen."

"I'll bring your tea up, and tell Emmett to get down here." I offered.

"Thank you, Rosalie." Charlie said, looking at me intensely. I smiled at him.

We made our way up the stairs, and I walked to Bella's door, opening it. Emmett got up from the desk chair, and walked outside, nodding to Chief Swan. I looked at him, grateful, and focused my attention back to Charlie who had entered the room and was looking at his daughter, white as a sheet.

"Bella…" he whispered, turning around quickly to look at me, "Are you sure we should not take her to the hospital?"

"It looks worse than it is, Charlie, that's what my father told me on the phone when I sent him the pictures of Bella by email." I answered, "She will heal, that's not going to be the hardest part." I added.

He simply nodded and sat down where Emmett had been sitting seconds ago. I handed him the mug and told him to drink it, that it would make him feel better. Then I made my way back down, to wait for Carlisle. I was listening very carefully to every sound and noise coming from the girl's room, just to be on the safe side.

The cold bag of peas had helped, and Emmett had obviously disposed of the basin and soiled clothes I had left in the bedroom. It meant he had walked out the room for a couple seconds, but the swelling and the redness had indeed decreased, so it also meant that he had done what I had instructed. I decided to let it go, and be grateful for Emmett's presence. He was a great excuse for why Charlie's bathroom door would need to be replaced, and the door frame in the wall as well.

We were both downstairs, looking at our feet, trying to act human. I was finding it difficult not to simply revert to a statuesque figure at that moment, and just endure. I had a feeling Emmett was battling with the same instinct, so I decided to speak up.

"When Carlisle is here, I need you to call Mrs. Dwyer back, to get her flight information." I said, "So you can go pick her up and drive her back here."

"Okay, I'll take care of that." He answered simply.

"Thank you, Emmett, for being so helpful and caring." I told him sincerely.

"I love her too you know." He said, sadness cramping his voice, "Edward's an ass, and stupid. Bella should be with us, she's our sister and we should have never hurt her like this, it's wrong."

"Yes, it is wrong," I agreed with him, "and I can't let her die Emmett."

He laughed a little, "I knew it!" he said.

"Knew what?" I asked.

"You like her…" He was smiling defiantly.

"I beg your pardon?" Was he trying to piss me off? Now of all times? "This has nothing to do with liking her, you stupid bear, I do not like her".

"Oh yeah, you _like_ her" he continued.

"For your information, I am only doing this because she is our responsibility. She should not feel like she has to die because of our idiot of a brother. Willing or not, we got her into this, into us, and I am going to make sure she becomes healthy again, for the safety of our family and to preserve her humanity." I explained with both my hands on my hips.

"Okay," he said, "but still, you _like_ her…" He was so not going to let it go.

"Drop it!" I growled at him slowly.

"Sure…" he chuckled.

I turned my back to him after that and went outside again to wait for Carlisle. I felt trapped while in the house, being outside was more comfortable. For once it did not smell of Bella and her delicious fragrance as much, and it allowed focusing on her breathing and her heartbeat to be a little bit easier. I could at least keep at bay all the images and flashes of how simple it would be to kill her, how good it would feel. I felt intense frustration intertwined with my thirst for Bella's blood, specifically Bella's blood and her body, reminiscing the taste of her in her mouth, the sensation of her warmth against my breast, the smoothness of her skin, her virginity…

_'Enough!'_I told myself.

How lovely that Carlisle decided to drive up the road and park across the street right then. I had been sitting on the front porch, and he walked up to me rapidly. I was about to stand, human fashion, when he gently took my left hand in his and pulled me up to him in a soft embrace. His left hand, still holding mine, went to rest on the small of my back bending my arm behind me and the other, who had let go of his doctor's bag, delicately caressing my hair, holding my face to his chest.

"Carlisle?" I asked, looking up. "What are you doing?"

"Remembering why I love you so much, and why I am so proud you are my daughter, Kitty." He said, looking down at me, smiling. "I missed you."

I was quite taken aback. Of all his children, I was the one he fought with constantly, I could not help it. He just made me so angry, all the time, so righteous, and patient, kind and understanding, composed and collected Carlisle. Plus there was the slight misunderstanding about my change into a vampire. We had fought about that several times over the years, and he always had to look at me and ask for my forgiveness, because he did not regret turning me, how could he not have turned me?

I was silent for a moment, looking in his eyes, my mouth slightly open.

"Your mother sends her love as well", he said, visibly satisfied of my lack of repartee. Putting one strand of my hair back in place for me, and turning me around still holding my hand, he carried on more seriously:

"Let's go see your Bella now, shall we?"

_'My' _Bella? What had I ever done for Bella to become '_m__ine'_?

* * *

**A/N:**

[1]_En effet_: means indeed in this particular context. It just so happens that in my story, Rosalie has a predilection for the French language, something she actually shares with Carlisle.

[2]"There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea."Bernard-Paul Heroux.

C.


	3. Chapter 3: Vulnerable

**Synopsis: **Bella is awake and Rosalie is nowhere near done being surprised.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan's Residence, Saturday September 17th 2005, around 10:00 am.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

As Carlisle and I entered the house, Emmett was coming down the stairs, with the broken wooden bathroom door. He had gathered the shower frame, some plaster residues and the climbing rope in the entrance as well. He put down the door against the nearest wall, brushed his right hand on his jeans before extending it to Carlisle.

"Thank you, son. You have been the man of the situation." Carlisle greeted him.

"Thanks, Carlisle." Emmett said simply, "I am going to load this stuff in Bella's truck and go dump it where it belongs. I'll check in with Mrs. Dwyer about the travel info, and see how to get that bathroom fixed before the end of the day. You aren't going to need me here for now, right?" He added.

"No son, fixing the bathroom is an excellent idea." Carlisle answered, "Maybe you should call Esme for advice, and a contact for the repairs."

"Oh yeah!" Emmett smiled, "Esme will know what to do."

"Thank you, Emmett." I said, quietly.

"You're welcome." He said, proud a little.

It was time to wake Bella up. Charlie was nervous as well. He was sweating profusely since Carlisle had come in the door. I could smell him from down the stairs. His heart was beating way too fast for my taste.

Carlisle went up the stairs and I followed closely. He stopped at Bella's door and knocked very quietly before opening the door. Charlie stood up right away and said, extending his right hand:

"Thanks for coming, Dr Cullen. I just … Please tell me my Bella is going to be okay."

"Call me Carlisle, Charlie." Carlisle answered taking the offered hand. "We are all going to do our best for Bella to recover in the best conditions."

"I think it would be good if you woke her up, Charlie." Carlisle indicated, "Once she is fully awake, I'll examine her."

I had moved deeper inside the room, on the other side of Bella's bed, by the window, so that the space would not be so cramped. Charlie went to sit on the edge of Bella's bed, and ever so gently touched her shoulder, whispering lovingly:

"Bella sweetheart, wake up. It's your dad, Dr Cullen is here, and he's going to make you better".

Bella stirred a little in her bed, and rolled from her side onto her back. She then very cautiously opened her eyes. She blinked a couple times, taking in where she was. She turned her face and looked at her father. Tears started to swell in her eyes. She then looked up only to meet Carlisle gentle caring eyes. She tried to speak but she could not, she was remembering and she was in a lot of pain.

And then… Then all hell broke loose.

Bella, startled, forced a shriek scorched sound out of her mouth, standing on her knees in her bed. At the sound that had escaped her, both her hands flew to her mouth, in pain and shame, as she started trembling furiously. The girl had her back to me, and I could not see her facial expressions, but she must have looked panicked because Charlie carefully extended both his arms to her, as if to calm a frightened animal, saying:

"Don't be scared, Bella. It's only me, and Dr Cullen. We're going to take care of you. It's going to be okay, now."

She did not move an inch until he made to come closer to her. As he approached, she started backing off furiously, falling backward on the other side of her bed, quickly crawling, on her bottom, further away from Charlie and the bed, eventually gathering herself, and standing up. She took a couple steps back, only to bump into me, and I did not avoid it. She turned around in a jolt of surprise, and came face to face with my collar bone, putting both her hands inward to her chest, the back of her palms resting against my shirt. I enclosed her in my arms, holding her to me by the waist, firmly. Her gaze slowly made its way to my face, meeting my eyes, her tears falling freely on her distraught face.

Still holding her strongly with my left arm around her waist, I softly moved my right hand up her back, caressing her gently all the way to the back of her head. I moved my hand to the side of her face, pushing a strand of her chestnut hair out of the way, so I could see her eyes better. I let my fingers trail down her cheek, and to her chin, tilting her head back a little. I dove into those chocolate brown eyes with as much will as I could gather from within, cupping her cheek in the palm of my hand.

"I am here Bella, with you, and I will not go away from you." I whispered.

I held her closer to me, allowing her face to rest in the crook of my neck. She was crying so hard, for so long, her heavy sobs slowly turning into moans of pain, her legs unable to support her weight, completely surrendered to me, for a second time today. She was pushing with her face, slowly against my neck, nudging me almost, sniffling, and I could feel the batting of her wet eyelashes grazing me lightly. Her forehead rested just below my earlobe, and I felt her parted lips embrace softly the smooth skin where my life should have been pulsing with all its glory, her warm tongue flickering at my skin, until she simply laid the tip of it flat and started sucking ever so gently, with a sigh, silently.

I wrapped her in my arms even more, shielding her from Charlie's and Carlisle's stare. The feeling of her sucking on my skin, as if her life depended on it, was so intense, so unexpected. I felt my chest ache, as if the wind had been knocked out of me, a wave of emotions drowning me completely, as I inhaled Bella's essence and felt her fill every inch of my body.

I was feeling her, feeling with her, and her vulnerability was entering me with every breath I should not have taken, finding its way to the depth of me, crushing my defenses, as if my armed fortress was a simple castle made of card.

We stayed that way for a long while. I had lost track of anything that was not her, but there was only so much I could take. I felt the sudden urge to push the girl away, away from me, and run as fast and as far as I could, but instead I said calmly:

"I am going to put you back on the bed now, Carlisle needs to examine you."

She released my skin from her burning lips, and went rigid with fright. I moved to place her on the bed, but she started bucking and rebelling, fighting as hard as she could to escape my hold. I was scared, for a second, that she would hurt herself but as fast as she had moved, she went completely limb in my arms. I deposited her on the bed, as humanly as I could, and she rolled to her side, facing Charlie and Carlisle, in a fetal position, rocking her body softly.

I assumed my position back, by the window, while Carlisle went to sit by her side, pulling out a stethoscope from his doctor's bag, and what he needed to take her blood pressure.

"I am going to listen to your heart and lungs, Bella, and examine the marks on your neck and chest, as well as on your throat." He said to her almost tender.

"Tell me if it hurts, ok?"

Charlie turned around a bit, as not to intrude on his daughter's privacy, as Carlisle lifted her shirt. I wanted to look away, but I simply couldn't.

Carlisle examined Bella very closely, making sure there would not be any complications. We both knew she would heal from the bruises and the muscles she had torn. Bella had not moved, but her eyes came back to life at Carlisle's cool touch. She had met his gaze and he had smiled to her.

"Bella," he said so gently, "I know your throat hurts very much, and I am going to give you some pain killers to take care of that. Does it hurt anywhere else?"

"No," she said very quietly, "I am thirsty."

Charlie came out of his own petrifaction, and said: "I'll be right back with some water."

"Please bring ice cubes as well if you have some." Carlisle added.

"Ok." Was all Charlie answered before rushing out the room.

He seemed relieved that Bella was talking, as if that made everything better. I had a feeling Bella would show some improvement while with her parents, her '_good daughter_' behavior kicking in, but I wondered what things would be like, when she would be alone with me. Again I felt a sudden rush of panic makes its course though my veins. I quickly turned it down. I was a Hale and a vampire, I could handle the suicidal human girl.

Carlisle was looking at Bella and telling her how her body was going to hurt some more, that the bruising would be worse on her neck and throat for a couple days, and then, just as her face would, her body would heal and be just as it was before. He did not ask her why, and he did not push her for reassurance that she would not do it again. He did not tell her what she felt or not, he only showed her respect and love, like he always showed his children. He did ask her this though:

"Bella, if I told you you could stay with Rosalie, for your recovery, would you willingly go with her?"

"You don't have to make her stay with me, I am fine." She said in a broken voice, looking away.

"No Bella, you are not fine." Carlisle said, taking her hand, "Rosalie feels she should stay with you, and help you get better."

"I am fine Carlisle, I don't know what happened, I just... Lost it for a moment. I am fine now." She said to him.

She was making me angry. She was not fine, and it did not matter if she wanted to stay with me, she would, because she had to stay alive.

Charlie came back in the bedroom with a glass of water and a bowl filled with ice cubes. He handed Bella her glass, as Carlisle was gathering his things, not without giving the girl two small capsules to swallow. He bent over Bella, and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be back. I need to talk to your father for now." He said to her, and looked up at me, clearly telling me to stay right there. As If I was going to go anywhere.

Charlie just said "It's ok Bella, I love you, and I'll be right back." I could tell he did not know if he should touch her or not. He followed Carlisle out of the room, down the stairs to the kitchen. I knew what the conversation was going to revolve around, and I could follow it from here perfectly. I had seen the resolve in Carlisle's eyes. Bella was coming with me to Seattle. Carlisle would find a way, and Charlie and Mrs. Dwyer would agree to it.

Bella drank her water and swallowed her pain killers, sipping very slowly, and she did not look at me but furtively, as if evaluating the situation. She had finished the glass, and that's when it struck me: the glass was made of '_glass_'. The second it took me to realize what she could do with it, she had broken it on her night stand and was already putting pieces in her mouth.

I blurred over to her, holding my breath. I grabbed her by her hair, she was trying to swallow, but I had my fingers in her mouth before she could even shut it. I took out the pieces I had caught in her throat, and gently took them out, as fast as I could. I didn't want her to gag. She had not cut the inside of her mouth, thank god, but she had slightly cut her hand, the hand I was holding in mine then.

She coughed, and I inspected her mouth to make sure there was no glass left. Then I put an ice cube in between her lips and pushed her mouth shut. I gathered all the pieces of glass, in a blur, in her trash can, and I put it out of the bedroom, by the door. Including the ice cubes bowl.

There was still the matter of her tiny little cut on her index finger, the one I was holding in my hand again. I did not need to look in her eyes to know my own were black, and what she was going to do next.

"Let me go." she said, looking at her hand. I did not move.

"Let me go, or I'll scream." She said this time.

"Are you seriously threatening me?" I asked. She looked amused for a second.

"What's the worth you're going to do? Kill me?"

She had a point. I had stopped breathing and she could see that. I did not need to breathe and she knew that. If I failed now, if I showed her all she had to do was draw a little blood to be granted her wish, then she would meet her death because I knew for sure the stubborn little thing would find a way to bleed all over me. I strengthened my resolve, and let go her hand.

She looked surprised that I did. She expected me to act like Edward, but I was not Edward. Nobody threatens a Hale.

"Why are you here?" She asked, and I knew she meant, '_Why you?_' Really.

"I am here, because you want to die, and I will not allow you to." I said simply.

"You can't stop me."

Stubborn little shit.

"Sure I can, I am Rosalie Lillian Hale." I said, raising an eyebrow.

She smiled a little at that. I sat on the bed with her, pulling her to my side, arranging a pillow and the comforter so she could be comfortable and warm.

"You should get some rest, your mother is coming." I had my arms around her shoulders.

"Is she really?" She asked with a little voice.

"Yes, Emmett is going to pick her up later tonight. After he gets the bathroom fixed that is."

"Rosalie?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Did you mean it?" she asked and I knew what she meant.

"Of course I did, Bella. I will be here when you wake up." I answered.

"Exactly here?" she asked again.

"Yes, exactly." I answered with certainty.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] Sucking is a primal reflex, according to Psychology, most likely the very first one humans develop. Long after our infant stage, and childhood, sucking remains for a lot of us, a lot more than we think, a gesture of ultimate comfort, in my opinion. It is not necessarily sexual, although it can be, and in this instance, well you be the judge of that.

[2] Yes I know, Bella tried to kill herself, again, and then she holds on to Rosalie, clinging, asking her to keep her word and stay with her. She wants to die, yet she wants Rosalie to be there, and hold her, and protect her. Don't try to make sense of Bella, there is no sense, no logic, no reason.

Thank you for reading this chapter, and your kind support.

C.


	4. Chapter 4: Stubborn Little Shit

**Synopsis: **Bella's rest is Rosalie's torment.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan Residence, Saturday September 17th 2005, around 1:00 pm.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

Bella was sleeping. I was exactly there, as I said I would be, and boy! How there was I.

The little blood on her index finger had dried, and it did not matter at all. I was swallowing venom by the gallon. It was burning my insights as a welding torch would in my throat. Three hours of the girl in my arms with her blood on her index finger. I wanted to kill her almost as much as I had wanted revenge on Royce, it was infuriating. And it did not get easier, it would never get easier. Her scent was slowly driving me to insanity. I had hunted four hours and a half before and it felt like I had never had a drop of blood in my system, ever. I was reciting a mantra, it was not helping, but the rhythm of the recitation was pleasant.

She was asleep, gracefully, her face in my chest, her right arm around my waist. She was resting on my hip, breathing evenly, heavenly, one of her legs intertwined with mine. She was warm. Her heat appealed to my beast. The song of her blood circulating appealed to my beast. The beating of her heart so pure and innocent appealed to my beast. My beast wanted to rip the girl of her clothes and take her like there would be no tomorrow. Actually there would be no tomorrow, because I would drain her dry right after tasting her sweet little kitten. Her sweet virgin little kitten.

I had tried to distract myself by listening to Carlisle's and Charlie's conversation, but it was in vain. I definitely had not moved a fraction of an inch or she would have been dead. I had to give it to Edward, he knew a thing or two about self-control. This was excruciating. Actually if asked, I would have answered: "Take excruciating, multiply it by a hundred and you'd still be a universe away from the truth." It was excruciating and going to be an issue. The girl knew we were weak to blood, especially hers. It seemed obvious that she would try to tempt me that way, because I knew with certainty she was not done.

Carlisle had been very smart in his approach. He had let Charlie ask his questions, all of them. I did not know the man could talk that much. I thought even he was surprised how much he had talked. Carlisle had answered plenty on how long Bella would take to look normal again. If she had a mental illness and could not help herself. If she needed medicine. If she needed to be committed. If she was going to do it again. If she was safe now. If she could go back to school, and what should he do? How could he help his daughter?

The only question Carlisle had not answered was, "Why did she do this?" Apart from that, Carlisle had explained possible treatments, medication, therapy, groups, the need for constant presence, that no, he did not believe in committing Bella, that she would need help, and support, and love. He explained the dangers of putting her back to school, that home schooling would be better, if Bella was to graduate this year. It would be a while before she could be left alone or trusted with any sort of sharp objects, or medicate herself, or drive, or simply handle anything that could be a deadly tool.

Naturally Charlie knew in his heart he could not handle something like that, he could not handle it. Yet he did not want his Bella in an institution. He thought shrinks were just money suckers unless they were profilers, those guys were real, and he could not bare the thought of his Bella in a white room, so stoned on medications that she would probably not recognize him. He was a little dramatic, but not by much, just enough though, that he was looking hard for a solution that would give Bella a chance.

Carlisle was clever. He had not brought up Seattle with me, well us for Charlie, just yet. I knew he was letting the man freak a little, resting in his own thoughts until Renee arrived. Renee would probably want Bella with her at first, if what I had heard of the woman was true. Of course, we all knew Renee could not handle it either, she would just need a little bit of time and a good look at Bella to realize it herself. Once that was done, we would provide the answer to their anxious hearts by offering a healthy shelter for Bella, treatment, schooling and visits. They would not be able to resist, at least not for long. Carlisle had comforted the man as humanly as possible, telling him how sorry he was and that he would help as best he could, we all would.

Charlie was now brooding on his own, sitting in the living room, the sports channel on. Carlisle was sitting at the kitchen table writing his notes, no doubt about Bella's '_incident'_ in his precious journals. He was listening to me, how I was handling myself around Bella's blood which was dry, though it did not matter, again.

"You keep impressing me, Rosalie. I wonder what is happening to you." He said lightly, in a voice no human ears could hear.

Opening my mouth to speak was a torture and a test on my strength because I could taste her while talking. It was leaving a crystal clear feeling of not enough printed on the back of my throat.

"Really Father," I said pleasantly, "You know I have never tasted a drop of human blood, I wonder why you would ever doubt my resolve."

"Maybe because I don't understand the reason why you would even need to have any resolve for Bella's sake." He answered, clearly making a second attempt at getting an explanation out of me.

"It does not matter Carlisle. At this point, we either kill her or we put her back on her feet enough that she won't endanger the family. Telling her the truth about us to leave her afterwards like we did is simply ridiculous. Although I did not want the human to know, what is done is done. Edward made her our responsibility, we need to handle this. She does not deserve to die for his foolhardiness and utter stupidity." I said firmly, he could try and defend his Edward now.

"I agree, Rosalie, I am merely pointing the fact that you do not have to be the one handling this, as you put it. Esme and I …"

"Listen Carlisle," I growled a little, "I gave her my word that I would not leave her, and I will not take my word back. Now would you, please, let it rest?" I emphasized the '_please_' and made it heavy with sarcasm. He was getting on my nerves.

"Of course." He said.

The truth was I did not really know why I wanted to be the one holding Bella's hand and hanging on to her life for her until she would want to do it herself. Surely Esme would be delighted to assume the role of Bella's guardian, and Alice, of course Alice if she knew, would want to be the one. Probably all of them really, even Jasper. I could not understand how Alice did not already know about this. How could she have missed it?

The girl was an annoyance. She was weak, but she had taken comfort from me. She was terrified of me, I knew that much, always tiptoeing around Rosalie the frozen bitch. Maybe I could scare the life back into her? I contemplated the thought for a moment, smiling mentally. At least it would be entertaining.

I was letting go of Emmett. Edward was going to Denali for a short while and then heading God knows where, I was certain of it. It was just a matter of telling Esme really. Alice and Jasper, they would stay with Esme and Carlisle. She could not lose more children if I was in Seattle and Edward was leaving. No, she could not lose more children, certainly not Alice, her favorite daughter. They would leave Denali together, maybe without Emmett if he was having enough fun with any of the Denali sisters, maybe all three. They would go to our estate in Maryland, just like I had told Charlie.

How long would it take Bella to heal? Where would I go after she was ready to be human again? The questions were swirling in my head, demanding. I decided to put them aside for now. There was no need to drive myself to insanity more than Bella's blood and body were already doing. I went back to my mantra, watching Bella sleep peacefully, from exhaustion and shock, in my arms.

I felt my phone buzzing in my left pocket, and very carefully reached for it. It was Emmett.

"Hey baby!" he said, I didn't even bother to correct him. "What are you doing?"

"Watching over Bella, what about you?"

"Oh I am on my way with Lou, the contractor Esme told me to call." He said very businesslike.

I knew Lou, and his wife Carole. They had had a terrible car accident, and Carlisle had saved Lou's arm from being amputated. It had happened just a couple months after we had returned to Forks. Carole was an interior designer and Lou a contractor, a very good carpenter as well. Esme had been quite happy to socialize a little with them. It was good for our cover. They did have things in common, especially with Carole. She had invited the woman over a few times to look at plans and discuss designs.

"Lou is going to check out the bathroom to send us the right guy with the right materials. He said it'd be fixed by the end of the afternoon." He then added, "Esme said to tell you she is heading to Seattle to get your Fire Station ready, that you would know what she meant."

"Thank you Emmett." I said.

I had approached Esme with my plan to get a place in Seattle, after my graduation from Forks High, where I could spend time on my own while the others were finishing high school. This way I was not leaving them but I could have a little independence until we were all ready for college, again. She and Carlisle had agreed to my wish. Esme had enjoyed the idea of helping me finding the perfect space, rearranging it to my tastes. It was our little '_secret project_' that was not secret of course, and she was looking forward to the '_mother-daughter_' bonding time.

After a few weeks of house hunting, we had found this old and original fire station, that the city was selling, down town, and I had simply fallen in love with the place. It was totally abandoned and needed a complete makeover but it had character, a lot of it. Esme had said it was perfect for me, especially with the ground level space which was going to be my own personal garage. I had bought it immediately of course, and after careful planning and envisioning, Esme had advised I'd hire Lou to clean up my Fire Station, restore floors and walls, install the new anti UV windows (which would allow me to have light and view without shinning like a disco ball), new plumbing, electric and all together new everything.

Lou had sent a team of trusted guys. We were paying well and we were friends. They had the repairs done over the summer. He had ended me the keys two weeks before, but Esme and I had yet to start putting any sort of furniture or decoration in my loft. And then, well then, Bella had had a paper cut. In any case, I trusted Esme to furnish it to my tastes, and prevent any needs Bella or I could have during our stay at the Hale's Fire Station. She would do it in Guinness Records time of course. After all she was a vampire, she could run, lift, arrange, rearrange on her own, and she could not tire.

"What's the fire station?" Emmett asked, tearing me away from my _rêverie_.

"Where I am taking Bella." I answered matter of fact.

"You're taking Bella to the fire station? That's not fair, I want to go too, I love the red trucks, and they're very noisy."

I almost lost my cool, my focus, my resolve and everything else, almost, but I definitely lost the mantra. I heard Carlisle strangle himself and choke on his laughter, loudly enough that Charlie even asked if he was alright.

"Not the fire station that has fire trucks in it, you idiot! The abandoned Fire Station that I bought this summer, down town Seattle, and had restored into a loft." I said, fighting the smile at the corner of my lips.

"Oh!" He said, in a very Bella fashion, "I knew that, just joking!" he lied badly.

"Of course you did…" I answered affectionately, you could leave it to Emmett to be stupid enough that he was actually cute, and no, he did not know.

"Hey, I talked to Bella's mom. She'll be in Seattle at 3:00 pm. So I am just doing a pit stop to drop Bella's truck, change cars and bring food for Charlie and Bella, 'cause Esme said to feed them and make them drink too." He explained.

"I got them four pizzas and Dr Pepper, and some ice cream!" He sounded so proud, while I was mentally thanking Esme for her thoughtfulness.

"Perfect!" I indulged him, losing the battle against my smile.

"So I'll be there in a minute with Lou right behind me, okay?" he added.

"Yes, and thank you Emmett."

"You're welcome" he said, hanging up.

I heard Carlisle get up from his chair in the kitchen, and walk up the stairs, knocking on the door quietly, opening it and entering the room. He took in Bella, asleep in my arms, and smiled. Then he bent over us, skillfully applying a band-aid on the girl's index in order to bring me a bit of relief.

"Thank you," I said coldly, "but you did not need to trouble yourself for such a benign little thing."

He smiled and kissed my forehead lovingly, before he looked in my eyes and said:

"Your restrain is humbling, dear, I am glad I can contribute."

He left the room as softly as he had entered it and I heard him talk to Charlie once downstairs, relaying Emmett's call, and the news about Renee's arrival. I decided to wake Bella up, so she could maybe eat a bit, and prepare herself for her mother's visit.

I was a little startled, then, wondering how to wake her up without creating a fuss as we had witnessed earlier. I was annoyed with her over the glass incident, and I certainly did not want a repeat.

Delicately I touched her face with my fingers, and whispered:

"Bella, wake up please."

She moaned and moved deeper into my touch, taking a fistful of my shirt. I felt her thigh move higher on my leg and her center press to my thigh, as she moaned again in my chest. That was not the intended effect. At all. I felt my eyes roll upward in their sockets. Even in her sleep she was trying to die, and I thought to myself '_What am I going to do with you, little girl?_' I gently caressed her back for a few minutes, long enough for my eyes to return to a somewhat amber color, and said again, this time louder:

"Bella, wake up please."

She did, coughing a little, opening her eyes tentatively, and taking in her surroundings. She hoisted herself on her hands, straddling me and looked at me, tilting her head to the side a little.

Then she lunched herself to me, circling me with both her arms, resting her face in the crook of my neck, breathing me in deeply and nudging my skin with the tip of her nose, like she had done before. This was relatively unexpected and I did not know how to respond appropriately. I tentatively rested my hands on the small of her back, but she only pressed herself harder into me.

"You stayed..." she said on my skin, sending tingling shivers down my spine, as if I were a hormonal high-schooler.

"Yes, as I said I would." I answered nicer than what I was aiming for.

"Thank you." she whispered to my carotid, pressing her lips to my skin.

"Now could you please get off of me, Emmett will be here any minute with your food." I said to her, through my teeth, fighting with all that was me and had been me for almost a century to not kill her right this instant. Almost drooling the venom that was flooding my mouth as if from a broken dam.

She sat up on my thighs, and crossed her arms to her chest.

"I am not eating."

I sighed internally, '_stubborn little shit._'

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] Mantra is a word originated from the Sanskrit language. It literally means "instrument of thought". A mantra is a spiritual word, sound, group of words, sentence, that is considered "capable of creating transformation". It exists and is used in its majority in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Sikhism. A good example of a mantra is the Aum syllable. In Tibetan Buddhism, mantra is also called Sutra, or "Truth". In any case if you are curious, you can check an online encyclopedia it will tell you much more and much better things about mantra than what I did.

Thank you for reading this chapter, and your kind support.

C.


	5. Chapter 5: Walk

**Synopsis: **Bella keeps threatening her life with everything she can find, becoming quite a challenge for Rosalie.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan's Residence, Saturday September 17th 2005, afternoon and more.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

"You are not eating." I repeated to her.

"Nope." she said, shaking her head no, before wincing in pain. She had forgotten her soreness for a second.

"Oh but you are going to eat." I said smiling at her now.

"No, I am not." She insisted, giving me the dark eye.

"Are you glaring at me, girl?" I asked, serious.

She hesitated an instant. "No, just, I am not hungry".

"When did I mention it was up to you?" I asked her, still dead serious.

"You can't force me to eat" She blurted out, lowering her gaze, then started to think that, yes, I could force her to eat, I could see it play on her face.

She started the motion of getting up from her sitting position on my legs and I caught her by both arms before she could go anywhere. She did not resist me this time, I was holding her a little more firmly than what she was accustomed to.

"Look at me." I told her, coldly.

She was trying not to look up, but I brought her closer to me so that she could feel my breath on her and I could feel hers on me. Her heartbeat started picking up, she was fighting tears again, but she did look up at me. She was biting her bottom lip now, trying so hard not to cry.

"Please," she said, "I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what Bella?" I asked still holding her in place, by her arms.

"Just let me go, just leave me alone, just…" she continued.

"Just let you die?" I finished for her.

She was quiet.

"Just let you die?" again and louder.

"Yes." she whispered.

"No." I whispered back.

"Why? Why are you doing this to me?" she said.

I remained silent. I brought her to me, she sat in my lap, crying a little, with a few sobs, a few sighs.

"We are going to do this together, you and me." I said soothingly, gently caressing her hair. "Because, Bella, you matter, and I don't want you to die."

"But…"

"There is no but. It doesn't sound like you want to or you can keep going on and live just now, but you can, I will show you that you can. There is a life beside Edward, Bella, there is a life where you exist on your own, with your own dreams, your own desires, your own joys and pains." I carried on, "There is a life, where you have power, where you can choose and take pride and content from these choices. We are going to find it for you and you will see that, it is not so bad after all, because you are the one making it."

"It starts with eating Bella." I concluded. "It starts with eating, trusting me and stopping resisting."

She came into me further, and I did wrap my arms around her. I did not understand, how could she be so desperate? How could she need my physical contact so much? As if she had never been loved her entire life when she basically had spent the last year being Edward's girlfriend. I had seen him touch her, and show affection, hold her by the hand or in his arms, and kiss her as well. Yet she was clinging to me as if there was no sense in this world without us in it. Had she been that scared? That we would leave her, that he would not love her anymore? It was almost as if she had expected our disappearance all along, helpless to do anything about it.

I told myself the why was not important now, it would explain itself in time, what mattered was here and now and protecting Bella from herself. My shirt was wet of her tears. I felt a wave of non-existent tiredness wash over me, there was going to be a lot of this for a good long while.

"You are safe with me, Bella, I will not leave you." I reassured her.

"Emmett is going to go get your mother at the airport, and somebody is going to be here to fix the bathroom." I went on, focusing on practical thing, so she could relax a little.

"We are going to dress you in day clothes, and feed you, and when that is done, it'll be time to be with your mother for a little while."

"Are you going to take me away with you?" She asked timidly.

"Yes I am. We are going to go to Seattle, you and me, and we will see Carlisle and Esme a little as well." I added, "Then we're going to focus on getting you better".

"And then what?"

"Then, when you are better, you can choose for yourself where you want to go and what you want to do." I said, confident. '_Then you'll be a woman, not a child anymore, and you will be able to take your place in the world.' _Is what I was thinking to myself.

"Is it going to be long?" she asked.

"I don't know Bella." I told her honestly.

"And you will stay with me, all this time?"

"Yes, all this time."

"It would be easier if you killed me." She said matter of fact.

"Yes it would." I answered truthfully. And it would, but I am a Hale, I do not do easy. She was not an inconvenience, she was a responsibility, an inconvenient one yes, but still a responsibility and I could not just get rid of her.

I heard Emmett pull up in the driveway at that moment, and another car that I assumed was Lou's truck. Both got out of their vehicles quickly and entered the house. Charlie and Carlisle got up to greet them. We could hear them talk about the repairs, and Emmett said:

"Hey Lou, you can go on, it's upstairs, I got to run."

"Yeah no worries, I'll have it fixed in no time, my guy Richie is already at the store waiting for my measurements and things so he can come over and start right away." Lou said cheerfully, "Don't worry Chief, it'll be like nothing happened."

"Thank you." Charlie said, probably wondering like I was what Lou thought that had happened exactly.

I heard Charlie enter the kitchen, with the pizza boxes and sodas, putting the ice cream in the freezer. It was good that Esme had told Emmett to get Ice cream. The cold would help Bella swallow and soothe her throat.

He opened the boxes and placed a couple slices on a plate, grabbed a cold soda and headed toward the stairs.

"Your father is coming to give you some food, I'll let you be with him." I said, helping her sit back in her bed so I could stand. I handed her a couple tissues from her nightstand so she could wipe her tears and blow her nose.

Charlie knocked and I opened the door for him, letting him in with a nod. I made my way down the stairs and out the front door to get some air.

Emmett and Carlisle joined me, a couple seconds later.

"I am bringing Renee in and then what?" Emmett started.

"Then you get back to our house and I will join you in the evening after I talk to Renee and Charlie some more." Carlisle answered.

"I'll keep watch during their rest." I said.

"I'll stay around in case Bella needs me during the night." Carlisle added.

I heard Charlie coming down the stairs, entering the kitchen and helping himself some of that disgusting pizza. Then I heard the muffled sound of porcelain breaking, and Carlisle heard it too. He looked up at me, and I rushed back inside, as humanly fast as I could, gobbling the stairs four by four, dived into the corridor and opened Bella's bedroom door wide, Carlisle on my hills.

She had broken the plate that Charlie had used to bring her the food. She was holding a triangle of porcelain in her right hand, bleeding from it, and she was inflicting cuts on her left forearm at regular intervals. I went to her in a blur, grabbing her right hand and her left. I twisted her right wrist enough that she would drop the piece of plate she was holding. Carlisle was already by her side, wrapping her left arm in an old sweater that had been on laying on her backpack by the side of her desk. I was still holding her right hand, fascinated by the blood that was oozing out of the cut in her palm.

It felt like entering a trance. I could only hear her heart beating fast, the flow of blood on the same rhythm. Her breaths, she was panting. I slowly lifted her hand while bending my neck forward, my head closer to the source of my desire. She was looking. I knew she was looking. I could feel her willing me to bring her palm to my mouth and end her life. I wondered, in the midst of those couple of seconds, why Carlisle had not intervened yet. I was after all very much inclined to kill the girl. I tilted my head a little, opening my mouth just barely. The taste of her was on the tip of my tongue before I had actually met the blood. I was oblivious to the venom filling the sides of my mouth.

And then, I stopped. I felt my beast roar with frustration, devouring my insights, gutting me out, but I only sighed, gently closed her hand and pushed it to rest on her heart.

"I will not take your life." As I looked at her deeply with my midnight black eyes, "I refuse to do it, and you will not make me."

I got up and turned my back to her, walking back down the stairs to retrieve Carlisle's doctor bag. Charlie looked at me panicked, and I said:

"She can't be left alone Charlie, no matter what she tells you, you can't believe her."

He nodded, and I handed him the doctor bag so he could take it to Carlisle for me.

"I am going to go for a walk," I said, "will you stay with her, and not leave her side?"

"Yeah, of course." He answered me, and I knew he would.

Emmett was there as well and he walked to me, intimidated.

"Do you want to ride with me to Seattle?" he asked tentatively touching my hand.

"No" I said, "I am going to go for a walk." And I squeezed his big bear hand, because he was Emmett, and he was kind like no other.

I walked outside, in direction of the forest and did not look back. I walked, and walked at human pace, for what felt like hours. I was close to the river, I found a boulder, that I kind of liked. I sat down, stoned. How was I going to do this? Had I been arrogant? I had come so close to killing her. '_But you stopped.'_ My inner voice told me. Yes, I had stopped, but could I do it again? Maybe I had convinced her that whatever she pulled on me, blood wise, I could resist her. Hopefully I had. '_What will it be like when I am alone with her?' _Was this going to be a pissing contest? And the one with the strongest will would prevail? I knew I would win, I had all the time, and I was stronger than her, but did I really want to break her into submission?

So many questions were swirling in my mind, I actually felt tired, figuratively. I wanted to lie down and sleep. I had not felt that way since my human life, it was very strange, to feel so emptied, so heavy. Bella was such a strange human. I guess, in a way, I was starting to understand what Edward saw in her. She was challenging, she was demanding of my character. I had no room to be anything else but Rosalie Lillian Hale at her best, because any less and she would die. It was so raw and so disconcerting. I had to focus to find my courage and fierceness again. I was trying to relax when I felt a buzz in my left pocket.

"What now?" I snapped in the phone without looking at it.

"It's good to hear you too, beloved sister." Alice's voice said in my ear.

"Alice?" I stood up from the surprise and relief in my heart.

"Do you have any other sister?" she asked playfully.

"No, of course not, I am just…"

"Glad to hear me, I know." She finished for me.

"If you say so." I said regaining my composure.

"I do." She smirked in the phone.

"Fine, what do you want?" I asked rather rudely.

"Just to tell you that you can do this." She added.

She had not just said that.

"Tell me one thing, Alice dear, why are you not here doing it instead of me?" I asked, getting crossed now, "I know that you love Edward more than anybody else beside '_your_' Jasper, but you're the one who said the girl is your best friend, that you love her. So how in the world is it possible that you are not here, instead of me, fighting for this stupid human's life?" I was screaming by then.

She sighed in the phone. I heard her wrap her arm around herself. She was obviously emotional about the situation but trying very hard not to let it overwhelm her.

"I wish I could." she said her voice cracking a little.

"Then, by all means, don't refrain yourself on my account." I answered aggressively.

"Because… It has to be you okay?" she said, so overcome with grief.

And then it hit me, really? Of course.

"You kill her don't you?" I asked, softly, to my little sister.

"Yes…" she whispered, "We all do, but you."

"Alice…" I felt a surge of tenderness swell inside of my tummy, burst in my chest, causing me to close my eyes at the pain I heard in Alice's voice.

"Oh Rose..." she cried out, the tears she could not cry in her voice, "I am so sorry Rose, I am so so sorry."

If I had been in Alice's presence at that moment, I know I would have held her to me, and take her in my lap like I had done Bella earlier, rocking her like a little girl, Atlas really, who had the burden of the world on her shoulders.

I wondered for a second, what it was with me and those sudden cracks in my perfect shield of ice, that I was actually holding, comforting and caressing so many people lately. Really, I was not Jasper, and I was neither good at, nor interested in all these emotional entanglements.

"Shh," I said, soothing, "she's still alive, and we're going to keep it that way, all right?"

"But…" What was it with people and their buts lately?

"No but. She will get better, and maybe you can come and visit later, when she doesn't try to bleed all over vampires anymore." I said, more cheerfully than I thought.

She smiled just a tiny bit. "Maybe."

"You know, she is stubborn as a god damn donkey, your Bella." I added.

"Yes, she is, our Bella."

"Anyway, tell me if Esme is turning my Fire Station into a stellar Hale sanctuary." I asked.

"Yes, dear, it is going to be amazing, and you will love it." She reassured me.

"Well, it is comforting to know at least one thing is going according to plan." I retorted.

I smiled a little, imagining my new home, it was a comforting feeling compared to all this madness.

"Rose?" Alice said my name with reverence.

"Yes Alice?"

"I am going to miss you." She said with the cutest little tone I had ever heard from her. And yes, I would deny it if caught.

"Of course not, but it's nice of you to say." I simply said.

"Rose," she whispered my name. She was the only one I ever allowed to call me Rose. Alice whispered my name and I shivered.

"Rose… I love you." She breathed.

And she hung up.

I remained standing where I was, listening to the soothing sound of the running river, whispering and humming clapping little sounds of life.

I tried to regain my composure. So I could go back to Bella.

I looked at my watch and it was actually very late, I had been gone for hours. Renee would be there already, most likely with her daughter.

Looking around I decided to go and kill something again. I was thirsty, and Bella's cuts were fresh. Hopefully it would relax me enough that I would be able to face whatever Bella would have in store for me the next day.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] Alice, oh Alice. I love Alice, I do. There are many reasons why I love Alice, and I am not sure I want to share those just now. I am always in awe, how Alice handles her visions. I think that she is a very enthusiastic and joyful person, but there is so much more to her than that. And one who is able to see an entire future of possibilities is bound to a certain wisdom. Alice's gift comes with a very expensive price. In any case, we didn't really get to see the strength of the bond between Alice and Rosalie in the Twilight series, and it gives room to creativity.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your Kind support.

C.


	6. Chapter 6: Good for him

**Synopsis: **Renee arrives and with her more complications. Rosalie and the Cullen are letting their plan unfold.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan's Residence, Saturday September 17th 2005, later that night.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

The hunt had helped. It had allowed me to rest some of my frustrations, to collect myself. The night had fallen and it was time for me to return to the Swan residence. I ran, stopping only at the edge of the woods behind the house. I contoured it slowly, and then walked a few steps on the sidewalk, up the driveway and on the porch.

I stopped to tidy my clothes, I needed to change my outfit, but it could wait a few minutes longer, especially because my car was not parked in front of the house anymore.

I knocked once and entered. Charlie walked up to me and said:

"Rosalie, it's good to see you back. It is dark outside and you have been gone for a long time, I was starting to worry." He looked genuinely concerned, and I felt a touch of tenderness for the human. It was nice of him to act fatherly to me.

"I apologize if I worried you, Charlie. I needed a little time to myself, after the events of the day." I answered to him, nicely.

I saw Carlisle enter my peripheral vision.

"Rosalie," He said smiling, "I am glad you are back, I was growing concerned."

"No need, Carlisle, as I was saying, I just needed a little time to collect my thoughts on the events of the day." I retorted.

"Has Mrs. Dwyer arrived?" I asked Charlie, changing the subject.

"Yeah." He answered me, visibly uncomfortable. "She is with Bella upstairs. She said she'll stay right there with her for now." He added, "She also asked if you would go up and meet her when you came back."

"I will in a moment." I answered. "Did you have dinner Charlie?"

"Yes thank you, I had some more pizza."

"Let me make you some tea then, before I go." I told him.

"Alright." He made his way back to the living room and sat in his chair.

Carlisle followed me in the kitchen and stayed with me while I repeated the ritual of this afternoon with the kettle, tea and honey.

"Are you well Rosalie?" he asked, concern tainting his voice.

"Yes, I am fine." I decided not to bridge the conversation I had had with Alice right then.

"Emmett went back to the house, with your car, but he was thoughtful enough to leave your carry-on luggage here, by the stairs." He added.

I nodded. "How went the repairs on the bathroom?"

"Perfectly, though the shower is not to be used until later tomorrow morning." He answered me.

"I explained Bella's situation to Renee the best I could, I think both she and Charlie are coming to the conclusion that they don't know how to handle this. It is obvious Bella's mother is conflicted between Bella's needs and her own life preoccupations at the moment, especially considering the way of living of her husband."

"Are you confident our proposition will be accepted?" I asked.

"Yes, fairly." He answered right away. "I will approach it in the morning."

"Thank you."

The kettle started its song and I poured the hot water in Charlie's mug, with a spoon of honey. I carried the mug to the living room, Carlisle followed me.

"Thanks." Charlie said simply, when I handed him the hot cup. Carlisle spoke:

"Charlie, I am going to leave for the night, but please, don't hesitate to call me if Bella needs anything. I will send Emmett for Rosalie when she is ready to go." He then looked at me, "Just call us dear, and we will pick you up."

"Thank you." I answered.

"Thank you, Carlisle." Charlie said as well, setting his mug aside and getting up to shake Carlisle's hand.

Carlisle took it and added, "Get some rest, Chief, it was a long day for all of us and it won't be easier tomorrow."

He turned around, picking up his doctor's bag and left the house.

Charlie sat back down and I asked him:

"Did Bella eat anything?"

"Yeah, actually, Emmett got her to eat some ice cream earlier. She even had some pizza with Renee." He sounded relieved.

"I am glad to hear it." I answered, "I'll go upstairs now. Good night Charlie."

"Good night, Rosalie."

I picked up my luggage by the stairs and went To the first floor. I entered the bathroom and saw that the door and new shower had been installed. I closed the door behind me and opened my bag. I retrieved a pair of Calvin Klein faded blue jeans, a vintage grey t-shirt Alice had customized for me and a Ralph Lauren white zipped hooded cotton sweatshirt. I decided to also wear underwear, and picked out a pretty pair of boxer briefs and bra. I set up the comfortable clothes on the counter, far left to the sink.

I took my shirt off, and ran some water on my face, closing my eyes. I let the cold water run a little, putting my right wrist under the faucet, it felt colder that way, the inside of my wrist upward. I looked at myself in the mirror, water dripping down my features in little drops falling down on my chest. I could not help but listen to her heartbeats, her breathing, while her mother was cooing her. My own breaths matched the rhythm of hers, again, while the drops of water were dancing on my skin. My eyes were a deep pure malt color, an entrelac* of topaz and obsidian, only richer. I looked at myself, my insulting beauty and the freezing glare I always had on, the iron bearing of my traits, the slight disdain on my lip, the tight line of my jaw. I sighed, how was I going to inspire her trust? How was I going to make her believe me? When I would tell her that I cared, that I needed her alive, that she meant something to me.

I dried my hands and face with a fresh towel and changed in my clean clothes. I also exchanged my shoes for a pair of white Chuck Taylor's Converse. Once my previous clothes were neatly folded back in my luggage, I exited the bathroom, rested my bag by the top of the stairs to the side, and knocked softly on Bella's bedroom door.

"Come in." A voice said, Renee's voice obviously.

"Hello Mrs. Dwyer, I am Rosalie Hale." I introduced myself.

She stood up and instead of taking my extended hand, grabbed me in an uncomfortable hug. Letting me go, she said: "Rosalie, I am so grateful for what you did. Please call me Renee."

"Thank you, Renee." I added, "How is Bella?"

"Oh she is a little better. Aren't you, honey?" Bella did not say anything. She was looking at her knees, folded against her chest under her comforter.

"Well, I am sure she will be, with all the care you and your family have been showing her, and I am here now." Renee concluded.

"Hopefully." I answered. These platitudes were gradually annoying me. "I should leave you two to get some rest. I will see you tomorrow Renee, Bella."

"Actually," she said, "would you mind staying a little, I'd like to talk to Charlie for a moment, and I need to freshen up a bit for the night."

"Certainly." I agreed.

She exited the room rapidly and I remained where I was, standing, looking down at Bella.

"Do you need anything, Bella?" I asked her.

"Will you stay the night?" she whispered, looking up to me slowly.

I approached the bed gently and sat by her side, facing her. She scooped closer to me, touching my right arm slightly with her fingers.

"Please?" She added.

"Your mother will stay with you tonight." I told her.

Sadness came across her bruised features, and disappointment. I thought for a second and told her:

"Would you like me to stay in the trees by the wood line in front of your window?" I asked her softly. "You will not be able to see me, but I will be there, and I will watch over you."

I took her cell phone out of my right pocket that I had retrieved from my previous pair of pants and typed my phone number into it. She was looking at me intently, and when I handed her phone back to her, Bella's eyes lit up when she saw I had entered my phone number in her contact list.

"That way you can call me if you need me. But Bella, if I am in the trees over there, I can hear you if you speak aloud."

"You'll stay the whole time?" She asked skeptical.

"Yes I will."

"And you will be back tomorrow with Carlisle and Emmett?"

"Yes, Bella." I promised.

She didn't say anything for a moment. I could see conflict clouding her eyes.

"All right." She finally whispered.

I turned around and settled my back against her headboard, resting my right foot on the floor and my left leg, knee to the side, on the bed. She repositioned herself to be right by my side, her knees to her chest, again, her face turned my way, resting on the top of her knees. She was leaning into me slightly, but more and more as a light calmness washed over us. I put my arms around her shoulders, taking her to my chest, and she let go of her knees to wrap her left arm around my neck, resting her face against me. I reached around her with my other hand and secured her to me comfortably.

"Go to sleep Bella, just go to sleep." I whispered in her ear.

She sighed softly, and then breathed me in, fully, a couple times. I felt her relax, nudging me like she had done every time I had held her, pushing into me. I lifted my right hand and petted her head a little, caressing her chestnut locks in a soothing motion, over and over again. Eventually her breathing deepened, she was asleep.

I listened more carefully to the sounds in the house, and I heard the conversation, or rather the argument going on between Renee and Charlie.

"You have no idea what you are doing Charlie! She can't stay with you." Renee accused.

"Maybe I don't know what to do, exactly, but at least I can provide her with some stability, and I don't put anything else before her." Charlie defended himself.

"I have been raising her on my own for 17 years, mister, I deserve a little happiness and Bella understands that. I am her mother, she needs me. Besides, with a little sun and some decent conversation she will be just fine. No wonder she is depressed in this grey, lifeless, nothing of a town! She just needs an anti-depressant and to get over that boyfriend heartache. She'll be just fine, thank you very much!" Renee finished her diatribe.

"You heard what Dr Cullen said, she's not going to get better overnight, and she needs much more than a medication. And she has been getting a lot of fresh air and nature here. She's depressed because her boyfriend broke up with her yes, but I don't think that's the whole thing. Bella is stronger than that, she's got some will power and she's stubborn, she would not try and kill herself just over a boy." Charlie added. He was really trying so hard to do what was best. I felt my respect for him grow some.

"Dr Cullen this, Dr Cullen that, he's just a little town doctor, famous because he's handsome. I know what is best for my Bella. And that is not you, who let her do something like this, right under your nose!"

She was pushing it, and my dislike for the woman grew just as much as my sympathy for Charlie had.

"Dr Cullen is a great doctor and a good man! He's been working very hard for our hospital and our community, he's very renowned. He took the position here for less money than he's worth, so he could be closer to his kids, and spend some quality time with his wife, without being harassed all the time.

And those kids, they have excellent grades, never making any trouble. I don't like Edward very much, he is too uptight, but none the less all of them are well mannered, caring and good friends to Bella. Look at what Rosalie and Emmett did for Bella today. She'd be dead without them." Charlie was defending us? I didn't expect that at all.

"So what you are saying is that I should leave Bella, my only daughter, here, with you, Dr Cullen and his precious kids to care for her?" Renee was pissed, but I could hear in her tone she was starting to see it, the possibility.

"That's exactly what I am saying." Charlie added, holding his ground.

"It'd be a lot better than being on the road or alone half the time because you are following your husband around. And you didn't know anything more than I did about her feelings, even if you pretend she talks to you more than she does me. I am pretty sure it's not true."

"But she connected to the Cullen family, to those kids, and to Dr Cullen and his wife. She made friends. She studied hard. She went out and had sleepovers and all. Maybe she needs that now, to keep what makes her feel alive and stable, instead of having to do it all over again in Florida, because she made a mistake. I don't want to punish her." So he thought we had made Bella alive and more involved in the world? He wanted her to stick around, not to give up and pretend it didn't happen. He wanted her to stick around and face what she had done, so she would never want to do it again.

That was exactly how we were going to do this. We were going to turn her life into something she would want to keep, so that she could have a future and accomplish herself. She needed to graduate, to keep her grades good, to find out enough about herself, her life, her family, that she would understand some of why she did what she did and how she could let it go, in order to grow and move on to another stage in her existence.

"You think I am not capable…" she started.

"Oh Renee, for once in your life, this is not about you and what you want and how you can do better than me, or better than Forks, or what you're capable of. I know you mean well, you always do, but we both know, you won't be able to handle it in the long run. Now is about our daughter, my daughter, and what is best for her, and maybe, just maybe, for this once, you can stop thinking about yourself, and listen to what she is saying. She has a home here, a support system, and yes it's going to be different now, but at least it won't be for nothing." Charlie cut her off. Good for him.

Renee remained quiet, turned around and started walking up the stairs. I didn't move from my position, she needed to see this, just to enforce a little bit more the very valid point Charlie had just made.

She entered the room quietly, though I could tell she was fuming.

"Oh! She fell asleep." Renee said, somewhat… disappointed.

"Yes, she is exhausted." I answered, not giving any indication that I was going to move.

Renee sat in the desk chair, and looked at me for a moment.

"You really care for my Bella, don't you?" She asked.

"I do." I said simply. And it was true, I cared for the girl, just never felt the need to tell her, or show it to her.

She had had Edward, and Alice was completely head over hills for the human. Esme was so happy goofy to have a new daughter, a real one she could play mama with. She was almost as silly as Emmett when it came to Bella. Carlisle found her so fascinating, especially because Edward could not read her thoughts, and mostly because Edward had actually started to act like a person with other feelings than existential permanent brooding, that was as thick as Forks overcast.

I found her, well, I had not really found her anything. She smelled pleasant. She had shown some persistence, which was a good quality. She was relatively smart, for a child, from what I could tell of her readings and her vernacular, when she was not limited by her shyness to her '_oh_' and '_uhm_' that is. she liked her antic truck, which I found quite interesting. She had no tastes in clothing or in men, obviously, but she was a loyal friend. She had promised not to expose us. I reluctantly had to admit, she had kept her word so far. She had been honorable, and brave or foolish enough to face us, because she remained true to her feelings, for Edward and the rest of the Cullen. I could give her that much.

"Would you help her? Get better I mean, would you help her?" Renee asked again.

"Yes I will." I answered intently.

Renee gestured for Bella with her arms extended, and I delicately untangled the sleeping girl from my body, to return her softly to her comforter. I then stood up carefully, as to not wake her up, and went to stand by the door.

Renee stood up from the chair, and took my right hand in hers.

"Thank you very much, Rosalie, for everything." She said.

"It' fine. I will see you tomorrow, Mrs. Dwyer." I answered. I didn't feel like calling her Renee so much.

I exited the room, retrieving my bag, and went down the stairs. Charlie had gone to his room, I could hear him, muttering to himself, agitated and worried. I took my cell phone and dialed Emmett.

"Hey beautiful." Emmet said, with an attempt at a sexy voice. It actually got the tiniest of a giggle out of me.

"If you would be so kind as to come and pick me up, Emmett, the humans need their rest, and I need my fake ride." I said, playing somewhat along.

"I am your man." He continued, an octave lower than his usual tone.

I hung up.

Emmett arrived a few minutes later, and came to the door, gallantly picking up my bag from the front porch, to put it in the trunk of my car.

He then went to open the passenger door for me, but I shook my head no.

"I am going to stay here and watch over Bella for the night." I answered his silent question.

"Do you need me to stay with you?" He asked.

"No, but thank you. Just drive the car back to the house and call me when you're about one block away from here tomorrow morning so I can pretend to be arriving with you." I asked him nicely.

"Sure, no worries." He bent over me a little and kissed my cheek sweetly. "Good night, Rosalie."

"Good night, Emmett." I had a feeling he had more questions, but he was being nice, and I appreciated that. "Tell Carlisle, things are going well, and we should be okay tomorrow."

He went back to the driver's side and got in the car, looking one more time at me, smiling, before he drove off rapidly.

I took a deep breath and went to post myself exactly where I had told Bella I would stay, watching over her.

It had been a long day, but soon morning would come, more talking, more crying, but eventually, Bella would leave with me. She would leave with me, and the real fight would begin.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] entrelac*: means in this context intertwined, but it is more of a romantic term. Sometimes it is applied to a specific Celtic jewelry pattern that signify eternal love. I love this word, it's a medieval term, it's still in fashion nowadays, but very rarely used. When I think of that word I see the curving patterns of intertwined bodies, swirling colors and changing moods.

[2] Yes I know, Rosalie wears boxer briefs AND comfort clothes, but it's CK jeans, and Ralph Lauren, you know… I just can't help but think she'd look very sexy in casual classy wear.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your kind support.

C.


	7. Chapter 7: Lavender

**Synopsis: ** Poor Bella is discovering her guardian, as Rosalie is tempted once more.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan's Residence, Sunday September 18th 2005.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

My phone buzzing into my pocket extirpated me from the torpor that had invaded me throughout the night. Bella had not required any intervention, though her mother had been careless enough that the girl could have tried several new tricks to end her life if she had wanted to.

Obviously she had chosen not to, and had simply bid me good night once her mother had fallen asleep by her side. I had waited, carefully, for her own breathing to even and tell me she was asleep. The rest of the night had been quite uneventful, I had not moved a iota.

The buzz in my pocket reminded me that it was morning, Emmett was a block away from the Swan Residence to pick me up. I picked up the phone:

"Good morning, Emmett." I greeted him.

"Morning, Rosalie." He chirpily greeted me back.

"Just pull over, I'll be there in a second." I was there before the car halted. He blurred out of his side of my car and opened the passenger door for me. I sat down and looked up at him the second he had joined me back into the cockpit of my car.

"Carlisle is on his way as well," Emmett chuckled, "You know how he drives…"

I only smiled slightly.

"So this morning is the big thing, isn't it? Carlisle is going to talk to Bella's folks about coming with you to Seattle?" He asked me.

"Well not exactly with me only, but yes, it's the plan." I told him.

"So, what do you want me to do?" He asked seriously.

"Well Carlisle is going to examine Bella, and then I guess she'll need to bathe and go about her human things. After that, Carlisle will certainly talk to Renee and Charlie, and I might have to stay with him for that part. So will you watch over Bella for me? Maybe you can even get her to eat some breakfast, like you did with the ice cream?" I explained gently.

"Sure, though I don't know what to feed her. I am going to call Esme and see what I should cook for her breakfast." He said, smiling.

"You know Emmett, maybe we should get some sustenance for Charlie and Renee too, they need to eat as well." I added quickly. "You should probably go to the dinner and get them some things from there so they have some choice, don't you think?" It might seem a little strange that we would only get breakfast for the humans, but not as much as Emmett trying to cook breakfast for three in the Swan's kitchen.

"Oh yeah, that's a good idea. I am still going to call Esme to ask what to get though." He answered me.

"It's settled then." I said, as he drove the last block to the house. I heard Carlisle's car pulling behind mine in the street.

Carlisle got out of his car, and walked up to open my door, his doctor's bag in his left hand.

"Good morning, Rosalie." He greeted me pleasantly. "I assume the night was uneventful?"

"Bella slept and did not harm herself any further." I told him. "Renee and Charlie had an argument last night, about Bella, and obviously Charlie feels she should remain here with him and with us. Renee is resisting the thought, but I am not sure how much of it is deeply sincere."

"Well this will make my task easier." Carlisle continued."I think you should join me when I am ready to bridge the subject."

"I will." I answered. Emmett had joined us and he was listening carefully.

"Let's go up to the house." Carlisle invited, his hand stretched out, so I would walk in front of him.

I reached the porch, and knocked on the door softly. Charlie opened it right away.

"Good morning Charlie, did you have a good rest?" I asked him.

"Hum, yeah I guess." He said gloomily.

Carlisle and Emmett followed me in the house and greeted Charlie as well.

"I trust everything went well last night?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, she slept through the night." Charlie answered.

"Good." Carlisle commented.

"I made coffee." Charlie offered.

"It's ok Charlie." Emmett said then, "We just had some back at the house, though I was going to go get some breakfast, you know? So is there anything in particular you guys would like to have?"

"You don't have to do that." Charlie said a little embarrassed.

"I kind of do, I am starving and you know while I am out there, I might as well use my manners." Emmett joked a little. "I know Bella bear likes pancakes, what do you like?"

"Yeah, she does like her pancakes." Charlie smiled a little at Emmett's affectionate name for Bella. "Well since you're offering so nicely, I'll have some eggs and bacon, you can just get some muffins or something for Renee."

"Sure thing, Charlie." Emmett grinned and turned around to leave. "I'll be right back." He said, and he went through the door, energetically.

"I'll go upstairs see if Bella is awake so you can examine her, Carlisle." I said, going to the stairs.

"Thank you, Rosalie." He then looked at Charlie. "Did you and Renee talk at all?" Walking toward to the living room.

I climbed the stairs, turning my attention to the girl's bedroom. They were awake, and Renee was talking to Bella, asking her about Edward. I felt my anger flare, the woman was really clueless, it would have been sad if it had not been so horribly misplaced at the moment.

I knocked on the door interrupting the questioning, and said.

"Renee, Bella, it is Rosalie, may I come in?"

"Of course Rosalie, come on in." Renee answered.

I opened the door and stepped in, and wished I had thought to hold my breath. The room smelled divinely, filled with Bella's amazing lavender and freesia scent, that made me think of those never ending lavender fields in Provence, and the tropical African jungle. Renee's scent was present as well but surprisingly enough, it did not affect me at all in perspective with Bella's breathtaking fragrance.

I pondered about this for a second, marveling on the sense of humor genetic has. Renee's scent was ordinary, still nice and appealing, but ordinary. Charlie's scent was muskier, but still fresh, though it didn't feel any harder to resist than Renee's. Yet their genetics combined had given birth to Bella, and her mouthwatering, earth shattering scent and blood.

The venom rushed to my mouth abundantly and I had to swallow in several discreet gulps, in order not to look suspicious to Renee. I stayed, rigid, in the entrance of the room, and looked at the scene before me. Bella was sitting, her back to the headboard of her bed, facing her mother who was holding the girl's knees. Bella was trapped, and it was obvious on her face that she'd rather be anywhere but here doing this, answering questions about my idiot of a brother, to her childish mother. Renee looked kind of lost. Completely out of her element. She was obviously trying to get a reaction from Bella who was being silent and immobile, almost statuesque as a vampire.

"Emmett went to order you some breakfast, he will be back soon, and Carlisle would like to examine Bella, if that's ok with you Renee." I said firmly, hoping she would get the hint it was time for her to go get ready and leave her questions to rest.

"How nice of him." She said, "I should go and use the bathroom first, before he gets back."

"Will you be ok with Rosalie, while Dr Cullen examines you, honey?" She asked Bella.

The girl nodded, refusing to look up in her mother's eyes.

"Perfect." She said, "I will be right back."

She picked up her small luggage and left the room in direction of the bathroom. I heard her get her toiletries out on the counter, and start the shower stream, letting it warm up while she applied toothpaste to her toothbrush.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked the girl.

She shrugged.

I heard Carlisle come up the stairs and pick through the opened door.

"Good morning, Bella, do you mind if I examine you?" Carlisle asked politely.

Bella shrugged again.

Carlisle entered and approached her carefully. He listened to her heart and lungs, took her blood pressure, looked at her throat and made her do some movement with her neck that were obviously painful to her. He reached in his bag and handed her 2 capsules along with a glass of water, made of plastic this time, that he had come in the room with.

She took the pills and swallowed them, still silent.

"I am going to talk to your parents this morning, Bella, and offer them to have you go to Seattle with us." Carlisle told her gently.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell me or them about that?" He asked.

She shook her head no, and he went on.

"You don't have any objections staying with us in Seattle?" He ventured again.

She shook her head again.

"Very well," he concluded, "I shall do my best to make it go smoothly." He left the room, with his doctor's bag and the empty glass of water.

She was sitting against her headboard, her knees to her chest, very similarly to the position I had found her in the night before.

I turned around to her closet and selected an outfit for her. Comfortable clothes, a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, with a sleeveless tee to go under it. I got a pair of Converse out, with socks and matching underwear.

"When your mother is done, we'll go get you cleaned up." I said. "Unless you would like your mother to accompany you this time."

"Please no." She said looking up at me suddenly.

"Then we'll get some food in you." I continued, nodding to her request.

"I am not…" She started, but I silenced her with a glare.

"Then we are going to get some food in you, and wait until your parents are ready to accept that you are coming with us, so we can pack your things."

I could tell she was curious, she had no idea what was going to happen to her, and she wanted to ask. But asking meant she cared, and for all she knew right then, dying was her only interest, at least she wanted us to think that way.

Renee took a little longer. I remained standing, fighting the urge to open the window and breathe in deeply the outside air. When she finally got back to the room, she put back her things in her luggage with her toiletries and I told her Carlisle was downstairs if she wanted an update on Bella's condition. She smiled at me and said:

"I'll go talk to him right away. Are you going to be ok here?"

"We will be just fine, don't worry." I answered.

She left and I turned around, offering my hand to Bella. The girl took it. I lead her to the bathroom, slowly. I opened the door and walked her in front of me so she could enter first. She froze. She stepped back into me and turned around, hiding her face in my hair.

"Bella, you have to go inside." I said warmly.

"I can't…" she responded in my hair.

"Yes you can. You're going to come back to this place on regular basis, and you will have to use this bathroom. It's only a room Bella, what you did is more important than where you did it. The fear will only be as big as what you fuel it to be." I explained, wrapping my arms around her.

She made her way to the crook of my neck, sighing.

"I don't want to be here." She whispered.

"We will be leaving soon. I understand you don't want to look at the things that happened Bella, but you have to, and I won't let you run away or hide." I said simply.

I wrapped my left arm around Bella's waist, moving the both of us inside the bathroom. I reached behind me with my right hand and closed the door. I lifted her up in the middle of the room, putting her back gently on her feet. She was still hiding into me. I rapidly started the shower stream, as to let the water warm up and assumed my position back. I rubbed the girl's back gently, and trapped the hem of her shirt with both my hands. I very softly started to pull it up, brushing her sides with my finger tips, and she stammered:

"Ro-Rosalie…"

I didn't answer, and gently took her left arm in my right hand, bending it at the elbow as to take it out of her sleeve. I repeated the motion with the right arm, and she pulled her upper body away from me just a little bit. She was biting her bottom lip and I could feel the magnitude of her blush, overtaking her face, her neck, her chest even. I ignored my raging hunger for her blood, for her body, for her life, and lifted her shirt off of her, looking at her round and full breast, noting mentally that they would fit my hands just fine. Her nipples were hard, and she swallowed with difficulty. I let her hair cascade over her shoulder and chest, while she looked away embarrassed.

I squatted down in front of her, undoing the lace at the waist of her pajama bottoms. I enlarged them and delicately pulled on the fabric, dragging it down her thighs, leaving a trail of goose bumps under my finger tips. Bella grabbed my shoulders, to stop herself from faltering backwards. Her heart was beating furiously hard, and she had stopped breathing. I let go of the pajamas when I reached her ankles, indicating for her to lift off her feet one by one to exit the piece of clothing.

The girl did so instinctively. I looked up at her, passed her virgin kitten, catching her eyes for an instant, before she averted her look. I could feel the pulsation of her blood, swelling her untouched lips, the throbbing, the heat of her arousal beginning to pour inside her vagina, in spite of her. I could smell it as well, the sweet aroma of her sudden desire. She let go of my shoulders, resting her arms by her sides, her chestnut locks covering her breast, avoiding my gaze but not my presence. I stood back up, in front of her, and said calmly:

"Please step into the shower."

Bella did not move and instead started trembling. I undid my vest and set it down on the counter with her pajamas, I also checked the water temperature, making sure I would not hurt her with the hot water. I held her closer to me, once again, feeling the insane warmth of her body through my shirt, through my jeans, invading me, oblivious to the steam fogging up the bathroom air. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and lifted her up, walking her to the shower.

The new shower was quite better than the old one. There was no frame really, only a curved floor between two mosaic walls, angled for the water to gather by the drain. There was only a curtain, more rigid then is custom, with a blurry effect, which I did not need to pull for now. I deposited her to her feet, and let the hot water run on her body, stepping back from her as to not get wet myself. She had her eyes closed and did not make any movement. I watched her, progressively relaxing at the touch of the water. Once again I was shocked how beautiful she was. Her curves and proportions, the innocent feminism of a girl who was growing into complete womanhood. She was desirable, very much so, more than I cared to admit. I tore myself away from my contemplation, and found a wash cloth, as well as shampoo and body wash. I took Bella's hand in mine and had her take one step toward me. I applied shampoo to her hair and massaged her scalp softly, careful not to have any soap drip in her eyes. I put the cloth under the stream and washed her thoroughly, turning her around when needed, including her sex and the line between her ass cheeks. I was gentle, but firm, willing her to understand this was not going to be the only time I bathed her, and I was the one in charge.

I rinsed off all the soap from her hair and body, telling her to rinse her intimacy correctly. She did as she was told, and when she was done, I shut off the water, and wrapped her into a large clean towel. I used another one to dry her hair. Once that was done, I handed her a tooth brush with toothpaste and she brushed her teeth. I then asked her:

"Do you need to use the restroom?"

"Yes." She said and did not move.

Bella was probably thinking I was going to leave the room to give her privacy. She was wrong. I freed her from the towel wrapped around her and lifted her up to the toilet. I took one step back and waited. She looked at me dumbfounded, but got my meaning clearly. She sighed and tried to relax, so she could go, eventually releasing her pee with relief. She wiped herself, and I lifted her back to me when she was done, flushing with one hand. I put her back in the towel, and gathering her things, I listened to make sure no one was in her room or the corridor.

I held her, bridal style, and blurred her back to her bedroom. I deposited her to her feet once again and said:

"Would you like me to dress you as well, or would you rather do it on your own?"

Bella looked at me, with what looked like embarrassment, fear, anger and a touch of something else I could not quite place. Then very deliberately, she opened the towel and let it drop to her feet, looking back up at me defiantly. She then turned her back to me, and picked up her underwear, putting on her panties. I went back to the bathroom and found her hairbrush and hair softener. I gave myself a couple seconds to swallow my venom, scorching my insights as I did, allowing myself a snarl of frustration, fighting everything that I was not to go back to her room, push her front against the wall and take her right there, her back arching on my fingers, her body obeying my command, her moans witness of her pleasure, wiping that defiant look off her face.

I was back in the room before Bella had even picked up her bra. I watched her, putting the rest of her clothes on. I indicated for her to sit on her desk chair, and slowly brushed her hair for her. She was calmer, observing my movements in the mirror slightly to her right on her dresser. She stopped after a few minutes, looking vaguely out of the window, into the horizon. Her eyes did not show anger anymore, or defiance, only sadness and sorrow. She was so defeated. I wanted to make her smile again. I wanted to make her feel her worth, and bring enough life to her heart that she would want to defy me again. Maybe not today, but I would, I would not stop until I had.

I knew Emmett had entered the house while the girl was in the shower. He was waiting for my signal to come up here with some breakfast for Bella. Charlie and Renee were both in the kitchen eating their own food. I set the brush down, turned the chair around and looked at her, saying:

"Emmett is back with your breakfast, I am going to let him come upstairs so you can eat while I join Carlisle to talk to your parents."

She nodded. Emmet was already by the door and knocked as he opened it to enter, carrying a tray of food.

"Morning Bella bear." He said enthusiastically. "I got your favorite."

She looked at him and then at me.

"I will be back up soon, it will be all right." I said confidently, and then added for Emmett's ears only, "Do not let her out of your sight. Do not let her use the knife. Do not let her harm herself in any kind of way or…"

"Don't worry, Carlisle gave me the speech already, I'll be careful." He interrupted me. "I'll look after her properly."

I turned around and exited the room. Pausing only at the top of the stairs, to take a deep breath and put my hooded vest back on. It was going to go according to plan, it had to.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] When you drive through France, in direction of Italy, before you reach the Mediterranean Sea, there are all those lavender fields, and it smells so good. You can hear the crickets singing endlessly, and you can see the old irrigation canals, made of stone. The roofs are red and the houses are a mix of villas and haciendas, influenced by Spain and Italy just as much. People there have a thick accent, and their skin is gorged of sun. They have donkeys instead of horses, and they like to sit under olives trees, for far niente.

Thank you for reading, and your kind support.

C.


	8. Chapter 8: This woman

**Synopsis: **It is time to convince Bella's parents to let her follow Rosalie and the Cullen to Seattle.

**Setting: **Forks, Washington, Swan's Residence, Sunday September 18th 2005.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

Once downstairs I entered the kitchen to find both humans were finishing their breakfast, barely looking at each other. Charlie had a constricted face and he looked very uncomfortable. Renee seemed annoyed, but Her features softened when I came into view.

"Rosalie, would you like a muffin? They're still warm, and there is bacon & eggs too if you'd rather have that?" She asked me nicely.

"Thank you Renee, but I already ate." Was my famous line to dismiss her proposal.

"Maybe I can pour you some… wait do you even drink coffee? I know Bella does, but she was always such an adult…" She continued, and I wondered how much of an adult Bella must have had been when it was only her and Renee, and the men. Because really, there was no way Renee didn't have men, or did not want to '_talk boys_' or did not invite herself to her daughter's slumber parties because she wanted to be her girlfriend, not her mother. Well, if Bella ever had a slumber party that is.

"I don't drink coffee." I cut her off, not caring about what Emmett had said earlier.

"Oh well, I am afraid Charlie doesn't have much of anything else to offer you." She looked down at Charlie, and really that was what she was doing, looking down at him, like he was a puppy dog with no sense of the real world.

I turned around to gaze upon Charlie who appeared to have swallowed his tongue. I looked straight into his eyes and said: "Thank you Charlie, you have been most hospitable under the circumstances, but really I am fine, I had breakfast before coming over this morning and I am quite well for now."

He smiled at me a little and Renee praised Carlisle who had approached the entrance of the kitchen, behind me.

"My dear Dr Cullen, you are raising amazingly polite teenagers, you should share your magic recipe with the rest of us." She smiled.

"Esme and I are quite proud of our children indeed, Renee, but when it comes to their manners and etiquette, my wife is to praise. She insists on their proper behaviors." Carlisle gracefully replied.

"I wish I would meet your Esme, she seems quite the interesting mother."

"Well, your wish should be granted in a few minutes, she will be here momentarily." He said matter of fact.

"And you were thinking of mentioning this when exactly?" I asked under my breath in a fashion that no humans could pick up on, unless they had been around us for a long time.

Carlisle kept on smiling, genuinely happy that Esme was on her way.

"So, uhm, why don't we go to the living room to wait, it'll be more comfortable." Charlie offered. I was glad he did, I was obviously ready to get out of the cramped little kitchen.

We all went in the other room, Charlie sitting in his chair, Renee on the sofa with Carlisle on the other side of it. I remained standing by the window, looking outside.

"Maybe I should go back to Bella." Renee said, nervous all of the sudden.

"If you don't mind," Carlisle responded quickly, "it would be good if you stayed. There are certain things Esme and I would like to discuss with you."

I heard Esme's car engine several blocks away from the house. She was driving a BMW,as Carlisle did, except that it was a coupé, and that she was driving about as fast as I would have been. She slowed down enough as to not alert Charlie's experienced ear, and parked in front of the house.

I watched her intently, come out of her car, slowly. Beautiful of her caramel colored hair, her pale silky skin, her mischievous golden eyes and that natural smile always tugging ever so slightly at the corner of her mouth. Her eyes fell on me. She looked at me intensely for a second that felt like the entire Inquisition, except Esme would never torture me to confession, she would love me to it. Stubborn vampire, she had to come, of course, be the mother figure and rescue her children. She mouthed silently "Oh Rosalie…" And the reason why completely evaded me.

Esme walked up the driveway, and knocked on the door. I went to open it for her, and she entered the house, both of us in plain view of the humans. She took one step closer to me wrapping me in a loving, intense, yet soft embrace that lasted for a few eternal seconds. I was instantly submerged by the delicacy of her angelic scent, subtle mix of golden delicious apples melted in a mouthwatering Tarte Tatin, forever fixed in its unforgettable fragrance and taste by sandalwood, fresh and refined, a scent that made me feel like coming home to her no matter how long or how far I had tried to evade from the woman. I never had asked the Cullen what Esme's scent made them feel, but to me, it was almost as hard as Bella's blood to resist. She made me feel restless and rendered me defenseless for as much as I wanted to detach myself from her and her universal love, confronting me each and every time to the inner battle of my desires with my needs. A Hale does not crave, not even the embrace of a mother.

"It's good to see you Rosalie." She said motherly, and then added "And where is Emmett?"

"He is upstairs with Bella." I answered, holding my mask firmly.

Carlisle had stood up and took a couple steps toward us. Esme looked at me again as she released me from her arms and walked to her husband. He took her hand softly and she leaned in for a kiss.

"Any difficulties on the road, darling?" He asked pleasantly.

"Not at all, though I am afraid I have been speeding a little." She said looking over to Charlie, now standing to greet her.

"It is good to see you again, Charlie. I just hoped it would be under more joyful circumstances." She went on taking his hands in both hers.

"Yeah, I am glad you came." Charlie said simply, blushing lightly. "This is Bella's mother, Renee Dwyer." He introduced, gesturing to Renee.

"A pleasure to meet you, my dear, I am so sorry for what is happening to Bella." She went over to Renee, and they hugged, only like '_knowing_' mothers can.

Esme assumed her position back by Carlisle's side. He sat at the end of the sofa, and Esme remained standing. She looked at me and said imperious: "Rosalie, darling, why don't you sit by your father while we talk."

I looked at her with slightly wider eyes than usual. She smiled gently at me, inviting. I did as she said, unwillingly, and went to sat by Carlisle. Charlie sat back in his chair and Renee sat by him in one of the chair from the dining table set. They were both tensed and sweating a little.

"Now that we are all gathered, Renee, Charlie, Esme and I would like to talk to you about Bella, and the conditions of her recovery." Carlisle said seriously, but benevolent.

"We are very aware of the role, our family, my children, have played in Bella's life, as much as the role she has been playing in our family dynamic. We would like to assure you of how great our care and love for her is." Esme continued, holding her husband's hand.

"Bella is very fragile right now," Carlisle continued more professional now, "and she needs constant attention. Had it been any other teenager at her school, or maybe one that I didn't not know as well, I would have advised you to have her committed in a facility adjusted to her needs."

"She is not crazy!" Renee interrupted. Carlisle raised a hand to silence her and she grew very quiet.

"Please allow me to continue." He resumed, smiling to her one of those compassionate smile he was so gifted at. "I do however know Bella and I have seen her evolve this past year since she has arrived to Forks. Your daughter," and he looked intently at Renee and Charlie, "is a very talented and intelligent young woman, with many of the typical issues of her age. She has obviously been suffering some situational depression that has evolved into a more pronounced inclination toward self-injury."

"Like cutting?" Charlie asked very low.

"In a sense yes,Charlie. She committed suicide, let's not ignore the terms here, that was triggered by her break up with our son. However, I don't think the reason of her gesture was solely about Edward. She could not face our departure. In a sense, she felt we were abandoning her and her world, her comfort zone shattered. She reacted extremely, much more extremely than most teenagers would, because of the self-injury patterns she has developed I would say in the past years, probably since childhood."

"So she was not doing so well before now. This is not so sudden, is it?" Charlie asked, visibly frowning, from sorrow and guilt.

"It's not your fault, Charlie." Esme promptly told him. "We all missed it, because really she is such a sweet girl, generous and selfless." She smiled warmly at Bella's father, who looked so very tired.

"Indeed, we all missed it." Carlisle spoke again. "These things are very hard to detect, especially when they grow so progressively. None of us had a comparison point, there was not a before and an after."

"But she never cut herself or hurt herself intentionally, I would have seen it." Renee interjected.

I looked at Renee then, wondering if the woman would have really noticed it. Probably, she was clueless, but not that much, and if Bella had become more conscious of her own inclinations, she would not have been very good at hiding them.

"No Renee, she most likely never did that, but let's face it: Bella is pathologically clumsy, her self-esteem and confidence are borderline unhealthy, even her selflessness and her sense of sacrifice. Bella's priorities are troubled by an imbalanced sense of herself and now that she is aware of this dark side of hers, now that some of her inhibitions are gone, she will do it again. Unless we give her a sense of life, she will work methodically to inflict pain and destruction to herself."

Both humans were silent, and scared, Carlisle was terrifying them. He was genuinely speaking the truth, well _a_ truth. One could have argued Bella's case differently, and some of her motivations. Carlisle was a little more certain and convincing than a regular doctor would have been with Bella's diagnostic. He believed it though, and we had gotten proof already that she wanted pain as much as she wanted death, most likely more. Swallowing glass, or cutting yourself repeatedly is not as efficient as trying for your father's Chief of Police gun, or cutting your throat open with a shard of glass big enough to gouge your eye out with. Those methods would have been quite efficient, even with a Doctor in the house. Bella did not lack imagination, and she was indeed intelligent, even if she didn't have the confidence to show it.

"So, what do you think we should do, Doc?" Charlie asked.

"Well, I think we should change her surroundings, but not completely take her out of her environment. She needs therapy. As I explained to you both, she won't be able to have a typical course of life for a few weeks, probably a few months. Most importantly, she can't be left alone, not until she heals, not until she becomes healthier."

"I should take her back with me to Jacksonville." Renee said. "The sun will do her good, and we'll find her someone, and maybe you can give her some pills." Charlie looked livid, but didn't budge.

"She might require some medication, but Renee, medication is not a solution to her issues in her situation. Medicines will only numb her symptoms, she is not bi-polar or schizophrenic. There is no pill against self-injury, and as I said, her depression is situational, deep yes, but it doesn't require a long anti-depressant treatment, maybe a few weeks but not more."

"She needs a healthy, stable environment, within the borders of what she knows, so she can get a grip on her reality." Carlisle concluded.

"What Carlisle is trying to say, dear, is that moving her away from Charlie, and most likely from us, is going to be an even bigger trauma for Bella." Esme explained.

"Then what do you propose?" Renee asked sitting up.

"We have a proposition for you both, and we really would like you to consider it carefully." Esme went on. So she was going to be the one to convince them, not Carlisle. He had planned it all along. Nobody could doubt Esme's motherhood, and her ability to love people into willingness was lethal.

"We have a loft in Seattle that has recently been refurbished. The city has everything Bella will need in terms of support. Carlisle can introduce her to an amazing therapist who will be able to help your daughter. She would be coming back to visit regularly,Charlie." Esme looked at Charlie. "We can home school her without difficulty and provide all the attention and constant watch she needs."

"She would be living with you?" Renee asked.

"Well the children are currently in Alaska visiting family for now. We were all making different plans for the year. Edward will be leaving for the United Kingdom shortly, to accomplish his senior year and graduate abroad. Carlisle will be traveling regularly for his new position, and will be based in our estate of Columbia, Maryland, with Jasper, Alice and Emmett accompanying him and pursuing their respective studies. Rosalie emitted the wish of taking some time before starting university. However, she wanted to remain in Seattle to consider the University of Washington and their Asian Languages department, for their Japanese studies."

"What we would like for you to consider is to entrust Bella to Carlisle and I care, as well as Rosalie's. I will remain with both girls presently, until Bella is situated and introduced to her support system. Carlisle will travel regularly for visits, and while I might do some traveling myself, with my husband or to tend to my children, I won't be fully needed in Colombia before Christmas." Esme very poised, introduced the first draft of our plan.

"Charlie will be able to visit as much as he so wishes and Bella will be able to visit in Forks as regularly as is indicated, so the change in scenery should not be too abrupt." She looked at Charlie, warmly and added, "It will also allow you to continue to perform your duties and preserve the stability of your home, and your family with Bella, without adding to the trauma of her gesture by forcing her under your constant watch, without the bridge in intimacy and the strain on your relationship which a father and a daughter should never have to endure."

She then looked at Renee and said as warmly "And it will allow you my dear, the means to help your daughter as she needs it, while still following your husband, supporting him in his career and performing your wifely duties."

"I would never abandon my daughter!" Renee said defensive.

"Of course not." Carlisle answered hastily, "We all know you care for Bella immensely and that you only want what is best for her. We thought very carefully on the matter, and what we are offering here, we do not consider a sacrifice, but an honor, for we love your Bella, and we only support you in wanting the best for her."

"Indeed," Esme carried on, "fortunately we have the means to help you help her, and maybe prevent further damage to your family. We do believe that by allowing us to help you, you are helping yourselves and your daughter."

Carlisle turned to Charlie and said: "Chief, if it were one of mine I know you would support us and take us in as you have done since the first day we arrived here. We both know people here have not always been welcoming toward us, and our children have been very much isolated, even in school. However, you always showed warmth and respect, and your daughter came into our lives most gracefully. Let us do this for her, and you."

Charlie cleared his throat of the lump that was threatening to betray him. After looking at Renee for half a minute or so, he said: "Well I am very grateful of your proposition, it's… You've done so much already." And he looked intently at me. "I'd say you've already done enough, because, well you have, but uhm, truth is, I want to do everything in my power to get my little girl back and put some happiness into her."

He was very nervous, and you could tell, he did not want to hover.

"I trust you, Doc, I know you wouldn't tell me something if it was not sound and solid. So if you tell me what's best for Bella is to have her get all the help she can get, up there in Seattle, and you're willing to take her in because, I can't really do this alone, well I'd say I am good with it. I am good with it that is, if Rosalie is too."

I was genuinely surprised to hear my name, but I waited patiently for him to speak further, and explain his meaning. He looked at me earnestly and said:

"Rosalie, I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for what you've done saving Bella and caring for her. I can tell you don't say much, and maybe we can relate on that, and I know you're older than Alice or Edward, you're not a child anymore. This is a big responsibility though. I can tell you're strong at heart and brave, but you can't burden yourself more than you can handle. I know your parents wouldn't let you do this if you weren't capable, but I need to make sure. I want to make sure you know you've done enough."

My feeling of respect and appreciation for the man grew even more than they already had. I took a moment to reflect on his words. He wanted me to make a choice, and know I could walk away with my head held high. It was honorable of him, to allow me my dignity. I was grateful of his consideration. I could not walk away of course, but he did not know that and his gesture was a classy one.

"Thank you, Charlie," I said directly to him, "I want to do this, and I can. I appreciate your concern and I am grateful you are willing to trust me and my judgment. I know what I did, thank you for seeing it too."

We all turned to Renee, and her heart rate picked up. She seemed rather speechless or maybe boiling with a million things to say.

"Maybe you should take a little time to think it over and phone your husband to share the proposition with him." Esme offered. "I know I would need to talk with Carlisle about something like this."

Renee nodded and excused herself. Charlie stayed right where he was, visibly embarrassed.

Esme looked at Charlie and very gently asked him if she could go up and see Bella, while everybody took a breather and took the time to think things over. He gave her permission of course, and I stood up, to go upstairs as well.

Emmett had heard us. When I reached the door, he opened it, with the tray he had brought, a plate half empty on it. He smiled at me and said over his shoulder: "I'll see you later Bella bear." Smiling at her his most charming smile. I went in and saw Bella, sitting on her bed, a pad of paper on the desk with a pencil left on it. They had been playing little games. Emmett had left it there, when they were finished.

She looked at the pencil. She looked at me. As the thought was still forming in her mind, I said to her, almost coldly but iron calm:

"Don't even think about it."

She looked back at me. I could see the conflict in her eyes. I entered the room, walked over to the desk and picked up the sharp pencil from the desk, reducing it to shredded pieces before emptying the content of my hand in her trash can. I kept moving past her bed, resuming my position by the window.

I looked back to the entrance of her bedroom and she followed my gaze, recognizing the standing form of Esme. The girl gasped. She stopped breathing for what felt like hours but was only a handful of seconds. She brought her hands to her mouth, and I could smell the salty water gathering at her eyes. Esme entered the room slowly and walked over to Bella very gently.

"Oh sweetheart… What have we done…" Esme whispered.

She kneeled down in front of Bella, looking under the chestnut locks into the girl's eyes. She pressed her fingertips to Bella's face, pushing her hair out of the way. Ever so softly, Esme let her hands trail down to Bella's shoulders, and allowed the girl to fall into her arms, wrapping her tightly into her, while Bella started sobbing so very hard. I thought to myself that Bella probably felt the same as I did, when confronted to Esme's scent, because the girl was holding onto Esme as if the dam of her sorrow had broken.

I watched silently the life of their embrace and I felt Esme's gaze reach me several times, while she was rocking, cooing and reassuring Bella against her pain and misery.

Suddenly Esme looked at me, and smiled, her chin resting on the top of Bella's head. We had heard Renee, ending her conversation with her husband, and resigned to agree to our proposition.

Bella was coming with us, with me.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] _Tarte tatin*:_ If you don't know what that is, and you don't have the means to go out to dinner at Maxim's in Paris, and believe me, you're missing out, then I would advise you to Google a recipe, and try it for yourself, because it is a divine dessert. My mother makes it very well, and well maybe she inspired me a little on this.

[2] Inquisition: here is a reference to the Spanish Inquisition, which took place between 1478 and 1834 (according to our Wiki friend). In any case if you are curious about their very creative ways in torture and its business, Google is your friend.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your kind support.

C.


	9. Chapter 9: On the road

**Synopsis: **The girls are on their way to Seattle, and it's time to start anew.

**Setting: **Seattle, Washington, on the road and at the Fire Station, Monday September 20th 2005, in the evening.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

We were in Carlisle's BMW, the 7 series Sedan, Esme was driving. Carlisle was driving his wife's Z4 Roadster and Emmett my M3. Bella and I were sitting in the back of the Sedan. She had gathered her knees to her chest and was resting her face in the crook of my neck, her body leaning into my right side. She was breathing evenly, some of her soft sleeping breaths. We still had about one hour left of driving, to reach the airport and see Renee off. Renee was sitting in the passenger seat and she was babbling away with Esme.

I was grateful for Renee's presence. It was saving me some motherly conversation with Esme, well at least postponing it for the time being. The distraction was welcome, I could allow myself to focus on Bella, or more accurately, to focus on resisting my urges around the girl. She had stood in the hallway, of the Swan Residence, while Emmett was loading the car with her possessions, and even though her mother, or Esme were there as well, she had come to me and taken my hand in her left one, wrapping her right arm around mine. The message was clear and nobody felt like questioning it when I led her to the BMW and climbed in the back with her attached to me.

Bella had spent a long time in Esme's arms, long after her tears had ran out, Sunday morning, while we were waiting for Renee to make up her mind. Once she had calmed down, she had returned to her bed, Esme sitting next to her. She had not answered when Esme had explained to her where we were going and that she was coming with us.

The rest of the afternoon had been spent on more time for Bella and Renee to be together. Charlie had spent the evening with her and I had resumed my position by the edge of the woods for the night.

The next day had been organized between Renee and Esme to pack Bella's things. I took care of Bella's bathing every time it was needed, I also had changed the bandage on her left arm and her right hand, and took her for a walk outside with Charlie on Monday afternoon. He had taken the day off, and I had suggested the fresh air, for I felt they needed some privacy and a couple of hours of time on their own, before we took Bella away from her father. It was actually sweet to watch them together. Charlie was so very gentle, holding Bella's arm linked through his, making sure she wouldn't trip or fall or any other thing only Bella could manage when confronted to gravity. They had not talked much. I guess they resembled each other that way, none of them too inclined toward conversation.

Emmett had gone hunting, and Carlisle had been in the living room, settling at the dining table, making calls, talking to different people, sometimes with Charlie, sometimes alone. He was arranging Bella's schooling and giving a reasonable explanation to Forks High for Bella's disappearance. I had heard him talk to a woman named Jamie, apparently a therapist. At the end of the afternoon, it was time for us to go, we needed to take Renee to the airport and settle in my Fire Station.

Charlie was quite moved and sad to let Bella go, but we had agreed that he would visit the next weekend, and we had exchanged phone numbers. I would update him regularly and he could call whenever he felt like it. He had held Bella to his chest for a long moment, whispering his love to her, shyly, but making sure she knew none the less.

Then we had divided in the cars for the drive. I wanted to give my full attention to the girl and specifically prevent Renee from imposing herself even more on her daughter. Bella had appeared satisfied by the arrangement and had settled comfortably into me. I was eager to see the interior of my loft, and have some time alone. There had been a lot of agitation, I was ready for the human to be gone, and I did not know what Esme and Carlisle were planning, but I wanted them gone as well.

Alice had said they would all kill her but me. It was hard to always believe Alice, she sometimes let herself be influenced by her visions in very biased ways, and I did not know what to think of this one. Obviously she had not told anyone else but me, the pixie brat, or I would have had heard about it already. I didn't want to test fate, not this time, although I would never admit it to Alice. I believed her visions were uncertain at best, biased and subject to influence. They were changing so often and susceptible to so many variables, that they seemed bogus to me. That is, until they were not, and then, well, then things were more urgent and complicated.

We were getting closer to "Sea-Tac" and I needed to wake Bella for her to prepare and bid her mother farewell. I looked down at her for a few seconds. The girl was oblivious to the world, completely at ease, right there in my arms, against the cold of my marble body, showing no sign of discomfort or misplacement of her peaceful rest. I felt the primal instinct to protect her against arm slap me in the face with all its might. It was very sudden and I just couldn't believe how much I simply wanted to wrap her in my arms, and take her away from her human mother, her coven of vampires, pain and misery. I wanted to hold her to me and run, to a place where all would be forgotten and she would only be able to face me, and herself, until she was ready to take on the world again. I swallowed my desire, my unexpected discomfort, with the venom that had rushed in my mouth, once more, to gently stroke her cheek with my left hand and she opened her eyes, looking up at me. Her human brain was slower to process information and I actually got to witness her consciousness awaken after her body did.

"We're almost at the airport." I whispered loud enough for her to hear.

She nodded, looking to her mother in the passenger seat. She did not move though, resting her head on my shoulder.

We pulled up in the airport entrance, and after Emmett got Renee's bag for her, we all headed inside "Sea-Tac". Bella was, again, holding my right hand, wrapping her right arm around mine, walking in my steps as close to me as she could get. Esme spotted Renee's flight carrier and we watched both of them get Renee's boarding pass. We then walked toward the boarding areas, where she would have to go through security and we could not follow her.

Renee was obviously nervous, and I could sense her tear ducts starting to pump salty liquid into her eyes. I could see the conflict playing on her features. She was debating, as she had been all weekend, between leaving her daughter with us, with me, and taking her back to Florida. She knew intuitively, that Bella would not follow her, that she herself, could not handle the responsibility of her daughter's recovery. It was too much, and she would fail. Plus, though she would never admit to it, the relief of escaping the seriousness of Bella's situation was obvious.

I looked down at Bella who was looking to the ground and whispered:

"It's time to say goodbye Bella."

She nodded, took a deep breath and let go of me to walk toward her mother. Renee hugged her daughter firmly, telling her it would be alright and she was to call her anytime, as well as all the encouraging words she could think of. Eventually, she let go of Bella and the girl came back to me, assuming her previous position. Esme reassured Renee one more time, and then with the waving of Esme and Emmett, to make up for Bella's lack of reaction, she disappeared, swallowed by a little crowd of people and the security check point.

"Would you like to stay until her flight leaves?" I asked.

She shook her head no and I said:

"Very well, let's go then." And everybody turned around, exiting the airport and dividing again into the respective cars.

Once back in the BMW, Esme smiled happily and said loud enough for my ears only:

"I am really happy to be with you for your first time in your Fire Station Rosalie, I know it was very last minute, but I am fairly certain you will love it."

I looked at her in the review mirror and nodded.

We drove in silence, to downtown Seattle, through the International District, past Quest Field, all the way to the corner of Occidental Avenue and Main Street, where my Fire Station was located, in between Occidental Park and Waterfall Garden Park.

The building was two storage tall and had a partial pointy roof in the front, that didn't quite reach each side of the façade. In the center of the building was a raw of large oriel windows, with a large panel of glass tainted and chiseled on the very top floor. The façade wall was made of bricks, and the lower level was separated in two with two huge oak doors painted in a deep bloody red, large enough for trucks to go in and out of the vicinity. In the left door, you could actually decipher the design of a smaller door, which was there to allow humans to enter without opening the whole front part of the Fire Station.

Bella had her eyes well opened and she was studying the building which had been retro lighted on the outside, by Esme, the second she had clicked the garage doors remote. The heavy wooden doors to the right opened, with very little effort, revealing enough room for all three cars and more if we had wanted too. The building façade was perfectly recognizable, but the lights were oriented in such a way that you could not see inside the front doors or windows from the outside. We parked in staggered rows, and the doors closed behind us.

I exited the car with Bella, and we joined Esme, Carlisle and Emmett at the center of my 'garage'. It was not as impressive as the one in my New York City heaven, but it was nice none the less. I had arranged that part myself. I had enough tools, computers, soldering and welding tools, paint and other accessories to open my own customizing, restoration mechanic shop. Not that I had a project yet, though I was thinking about Bella's truck more and more often since Emmett had dragged me to the store with him so we could choose a decent sound system for the car. He was worried a recent radio would not work on the old thing and I actually had to install it in the girl's truck for him. It had not been that hard, it just needed a couple domino and a converter.

Esme was literally bouncing on her heels, very much in an Alice fashion, and Emmet was already zooming around like a child. I was aggravated in the matter of seconds and hearing Carlisle chuckle finally did it.

"I am going to take Bella to her room." I announced flatly and started to lead the girl to the staircase, leading to the giant mezzanine that was the first floor and the second floor.

The place was entirely opened, with the kitchen, living room/tv room, dining room, a bathroom, pantry, and laundry room on the first floor. Part of the lower level was opened, the other part was under the mezzanine of the first floor. The 'covered' area was actually more a reception hall and entrance, you didn't need to cross the 'garage' to get to the stair case. The pole actually landed right in the middle of the entrance hall and went all the way up to the roof. The rooms with private bathroom, walk-in closets, study, library and otherwise lounging area were on the second floor, which was just as much a mezzanine floor as the first floor. You could see the 'garage' from each floor, and the acoustic of the place was oddly just and sound proofed for such high ceilings. There was no natural echo, plus the venting system was extremely efficient, and you could not smell any exhaust lingering in the air, which I was very grateful for.

In walked Bella up the stairs, on two levels, quite slowly. She was looking around, trying, as much as I was, not to look too interested. Esme had done an amazing job, and though I had not looked in details, I was fairly certain everything I could have wished for was installed, stored or displayed somewhere. Hell, if I had looked in the fridge, I had no doubt it would already have been full with all the things I would need to feed the girl.

I heard the sound of a television being switched on and I figured Emmett was already making himself at home. Soon we reached the second floor which was behind the giant glass panel we could see form the outside. There were leather sofas and club arm chairs, with plaids and blankets, cushions and a fire place to the left wall. The walls were occupied by books here and there, a piano in the far right of the floor, a couple of my favorite Francine Van Hove paintings were on the walls, one behind a beautiful wooden desk, more a gigantic table, very pure and dark, varnished mahogany wood from where I stood, of the Austrian Empire style. Esme had remembered my tastes, she knew I liked to have space to work, and my otherwise very neat atmosphere became quite chaotic once at my desk. The desk was magnificent, and I highly doubted she had found it in the past couple of days. I started wondering how much arranging Esme had done in my Fire Station in the past few weeks, without my knowledge.

I realized I had stopped moving, and when I looked at Bella, I met her eyes watching me intensely, looking for my reactions. I heard Esme's voice telling me Bella's room was the one to the right. I gently directed her to the right and we entered her bedroom. I deposited one of her bags I knew contained her toiletries and some fresh clothes by the door of her walk-in closet. Bella walked over to the window of her bed room which had a view in Waterfall Garden Park. There was a comfortable armchair by the window, and a little bench under it, with pillows and a couple blankets. The bed was a large queen size, in white, with drawers under it, a very fluffy comforter and pillows covered in a deep shade of purple, just like at Charlie's. She had a bedside table to the left of the bed that went all the way to the wall, with a plant on it, a switch to some intricate vines of lights, all over her bedpost, walls and ceiling.

On the other side of the bed was a rectangular desk and a comfortable chair, a compromise between a 'coiffeuse' and a desk really, for it had a mirror and some accessories like candles, hair brushes and combs, different lotions and perfumes. It also had a leather book and some pens, which I supposed to be a diary and some pencil or fountain pen set. On the wall were a decent size flat screen and a flat DVD player. There were some movies and books on the inward shelves in the wall to the left and some Japanese calligraphy on the left wall.

All together the room felt very warm, not too crowded but inhabited already. I walked over to Bella, and gently asked:

"Do you need to use the restroom?"

She nodded.

"Maybe we should get you into something more comfortable and get you to bed. It has been a long day."

She nodded again.

We entered a very modern, mosaic of purple and white bathroom, decorated of golden patterns on the walls and floor, with a delicious Moroccan feel to it. I undid her buttons and sleeves for her, the injuries on her hands and left forearm made it a little painful for her. While she was using the restroom, I rushed to get her toiletries and sleepwear. They were new actually, the brand new pajamas Esme had placed at the feet of the bed, on the coffer that was there. I handed her a warm wash cloth and she wiped herself clean, flushing and placing the wash cloth in the sink, which I immediately threw in a large laundry bag beside the entrance of the bathroom. She followed my gesture and her eyes lit up with understanding. There was not going to be any reusing clothes, towels, wash clothes or anything else she wore or touched without a trip to the laundry room first.

I helped her out of her clothes and threw them in the laundry basket as well. Once she was naked, I helped her in her pajamas, and she seemed to be comfortable in them. She brushed her teeth and flossed, taking slow deliberate movements, as if to make sure she was more than clean. She washed her face and hands, and placed the towel she used to dry herself, in the basket, walking past me in the process. When she was done, she stopped in front of me, in the center of the bathroom, as if waiting for me to lead her back to the bedroom. I retrieved the medical kit Carlisle had prepared and indicated for her to lift her sleeves.

The cuts were not too deep, the strip had done its job and even in her right hand she did not need stitches. However, the cuts were still fresh enough that the scent of her blood, even drying, was intoxicating. I made sure not to let my face betray any of my burning thirst for her, and took care of her wounds. I also applied a soothing balm to her neck and face, and she closed her eyes at the touch of my cold fingers, as she had done since the very first day, sighing in relief. Once I had applied the cream, and washed my hands, I led her back to the room, opening the right side of the bed for her to climb in. She sat and we both heard Carlisle knock softly at the door.

"Come in." I answered.

Carlisle and Esme entered the room, smiling softly.

"I brought you some water Bella, and another pain killer for your soreness." Carlisle said.

He handed her the glass and pill, which Bella took obediently and swallowed. She handed the glass back to him when she was done and he bent over to kiss her forehead.

"I wish you a goodnight Bella. I will see you in the morning." He left the room as simply as he had entered it.

Esme came closer to the bed and helped Bella to lie down, having her scoop closer to the center of the bed as she did.

"Are you comfortable?" She asked the girl, motherly.

"Yes, thank you." Bella answered.

"You will see dear, you will soon feel comfortable in your room. If there is anything you would like to have, or that would make you feel more at home, please let me know." She looked at the girl with a smile.

"Tomorrow, we will unpack your belongings and get your little things all over your room. You will feel settled in no time dear."

She too, bent over and kissed Bella, on the cheek this time, petting her hair a little. Bella relaxed more in her pillows, and Esme retreated from her a little.

"I hope you have some good rest Bella dear, and call if you need anything."

With one meaningful look to me, she left the room gracefully.

I looked at Bella for a moment, and she looked at me a few times as well. I could sense her doubts and hesitation, but furthermore, her profound sorrow. I approached the bed carefully and sat softly.

"Are you warm and comfortable enough?"

"Yes, thank you." She answered, like a dog repeating a well practiced trick.

"Bella, If you need something, it's ok to say it. I am not Alice, I can't see your needs before you express them." I added.

She looked up at me at the mention of Alice's name and hesitated. She finally said:

"I am not used to going to sleep alone anymore." She then whispered, "I always have …"

I could have filled in the name for her, but she would have to say it one day or another, and well, his shadow would weight on her, on us, as long as she dreaded his name.

"I always had Edward." She finished, "Or Alice sometimes."

"I see." I answered. She was telling me she needed me to stay with her. I would have stayed anyway, she was a danger to herself, and I was not about to trust her on her own in a long while.

"I'll stay here with you." I simply told her.

She lied down completely, but did not seem quite satisfied. She moved around a little, and did not seem to find a restful position. After about fifteen minutes of her discomfort, I interrupted her:

"What is wrong?"

"I can't sleep." She almost pouted.

"I am here." I said.

"Yes, you are." She went on.

"But?" I asked.

"It's not the same." She whispered.

Her comment was scathing, though I rationally knew she did not mean it to be. I was confused on why it made me feel so inadequate all of the sudden. I breathed in discreetly, and calmed the rush of conflicted emotions that would have overheated my reaction had I not been a vampire with the capacity to separate and process much more than humans could. She was asking for more, she needed contact, just like she had wanted in the past two days. Her lack of satisfaction was not a rejection, it was shyness. Timidity toward me, the one vampire that had shown her nothing but contempt, and coldness, because she needed more of me to be able to go to sleep in a bed she had never been in before and she did not know how to ask.

I did not know how to agree to her needs. I just knew I had to, or she would not rest. So far, those moments had just happened, without a word. She had not questioned them, and I had been so taken off guard by her clinging that I had not questioned them either.

I thought for a moment, as she remained quiet, looking at my lap a bit expectantly. It was late, and now was not the time to question these things. Consequently, I took off my shoes, socks and hoody in a blink. I decided to do what we had done for the past two days and climbed into the bed with her, resting on my back slightly elevated with a couple pillows, and she immediately turned to her left side, resting her face on the top of my chest, an arm across my waist and a leg entangled in mine.

A few moments went on, before I felt her relax just a little. I wrapped her more into me, slightly turning to my side as well, facing her, and started drawing soothing circles on her back. She nudged the skin of my neck, once more, placing her lips delicately on me. I wondered how a gesture of the sort could be so innocent, and yet so sensual. The warmth of her lips felt divine, and a soft sigh escaped me, as the price to stop a contented growl to evade from my throat. She heard it in my chest, and I felt her embrace tighten around me though her lips moved against my skin as she asked:

"Did you just …"

"Yes." I interrupted her, "Now sleep."

I felt her eye lashes graze against me as her eyelids closed, her breathing growing heavier with slumber, but what really straddled me was the smile on her soft and warm lips resting on my skin.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] I am not advertizing for BMW, it's just that I think the cars are very classy and it fits them. At least, it fits Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle. We all know what Alice drives, and Edward, so that leaves Emmet and Jasper, and I am pretty sure I know what's for them.

[2] I tried to make the locations and descriptions of Seattle as accurate as I could. However please note that the Fire Station in this story is inspired by certain façade of a Fire Station in Oxford, England. Although I did a lot of research and found out many interesting things about Seattle Fire Stations and its Fire Department, I could not find one that looked like my mental image. However, the idea of restoring an old Fire Station into another type of space has been done in Seattle several times.

[3] I didn't mention it in an AN before because I thought maybe some of you would pick it up, but well... In case you guys wondered about this end of this chapter, what Rosalie repressed and Bella heard is a purr. You can understand now why Rosalie wouldn't let Bella mention it, but it was there non the less. She purred. She purred because somehow right then, she is happy and content and she has no idea that she is.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your fidelity.

Sometimes, life gets a little busy, and then you lose your rhythm and you feel like you don't know what to say anymore. Fortunately I remembered what I wanted to say and I have a good portion of the next chapter laid out, so it should not be too long …

C.


	10. Chapter 10 : Punch

**Synopsis: **Rosalie has to face the Cullen and stand her ground for Bella's sake.

**Setting: **Seattle, Washington, Fire Station, Monday September 20th 2005, during the night.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

Her melodious heartbeat was filling the air and I remained perfectly immobile, smoldered to her shape, in an attempt to give the comfort and peace Bella needed to sleep. I was contemplating the order of things and what were these feelings and emotions I was experiencing with the girl when, again, I was interrupted.

"Rosalie," Esme's voice said in our language frequency, "We need to talk, would you join us please? I don't think Bella will wake anytime soon."

"I don't like the idea of leaving her alone." I answered, hopefully to get out of this unwelcome invitation.

"We will hear it if she regains consciousness, please come down." Esme insisted.

I very gently and carefully disentangled myself from Bella, who stirred a little, but remained asleep. I got out of the bed and put my socks, shoes and vest back on. Reaching the door, I turned around, and looked at the human girl. Then I left the room and went down the stairs to the living room on the first floor.

Emmett smiled at me and patted the seat close to him on the couch. I walked in the area and decided to go sit with him.

"She is out like a light, just like when Edward is with her." Emmett said, "It must be a vampire thing."

"Edward and his stalking turned into nocturnal visits," I responded irritated a little, "She doesn't know how to sleep without one of us there anymore." I didn't need to finish my sentence for all of them to hear my disapproval.

"Edward did what he thought was best, Rosalie." Carlisle then said.

"Edward is an idiot, and he placed us in a very dangerous position. Furthermore, he has completely destroyed this girl emotionally and we simply let him do it. She needs one of us to be able to sleep Carlisle, how is that appropriate for a human girl?" I asked in earnest.

"He should have changed her by now, or killed her. The more you are all involved with her, the more at risk the family is." I continued.

"You know it, Carlisle, you have to leave." I stated finally.

"No." Esme said then looking at me. "We did this to her, we have to help her regain herself."

"And I will. You have to leave." I repeated, looking only at Carlisle.

"Rosalie, I don't think it is wise to let you handle the situation completely on your own." Carlisle answered me.

"Somebody has to clean up this mess, and give her a chance at a human life. We both know I am more than competent, and I have made my decision. I expect you all to leave tomorrow after you say your goodbyes." I wanted to add that the sooner the better, considering Alice's prediction, but I refrained myself.

"Who will help you when you need to hunt, and feed her and all?" Emmett asked, "You're going to need a break sometimes. I could stay with you if you want."

I looked at Emmett tenderly, I knew he was worried about me, and Bella as well. Mostly though, he did not want to leave me, and as much as I loved having him by my side, I could not allow it.

"You are going to Denali, just like we agreed Emmett, no more stalling." I answered.

I saw Carlisle look at us sadly. They knew we were separating, though I was not sure Carlisle understood why just yet. Esme knew, of course, she knew since that night, a couple years ago, and she had chosen not to share it.

"I agree with Emmett, you should not stay alone," Esme continued on, "and what will you tell Charlie when he asks after me?"

"You can still come down for a weekend here and there I guess, but there is no need for you to stay, there is enough chaos as it is." Esme was being overly motherly, and her insistence was angering me very fast.

"Rosalie, I thank you very much for your input, but I think I know perfectly well what my children need, I also know what you are all capable of, and I think you are overconfident on the matter." She was not backing down at all.

I stood up from the couch and looked at her straight in the eye: "Bella is not your child, and neither am I."

Had I slapped her in the face that the effect would have been just about the same.

She stood up from the sofa she was sitting on with Carlisle and walked toward me.

"Ladies …" Carlisle started, "there is no need for dispute, please."

We both ignored him and bore into each other eyes.

"She is not yours to care for Rosalie, dear." Esme said to me calmly.

"Nor is she yours for that matter." I replied dryly.

"I went back, and I brought her back to life, a life your 'dear' son sent away to waste." I continued on.

"What an amazing job you did … I think I'll take my chances. I saved her life, she is mine to care for, and I think she made her choice already." I finished.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale!" Esme exclaimed, "You have no place speaking to me this way! I am your m…"

"Don't you dare!" I said to her face.

"I _am_ your mother, and I have always …" Esme got interrupted as my fist landed insanely fast and hard in the side of her beautiful face, aiming for a perfect punch on the soft part of her right cheek and the corner of her mouth.

She flew above the guardrail, and crashed loudly in the concrete floor one story below.

Before anyone could react, I had already jumped the guardrail myself and was on top of her hitting her a second time.

"I am not …"

Then a third.

"Your …"

Then my arm was stopped by Emmett in mid air as I was arming the fourth blow … He wrapped an arm around me and took me off of Esme, though I didn't resist.

Carlisle was at Esme's side, helping her up, though she took one step away from him as soon as she was on her feet. He was looking at me incredulously, with disappointment and hurt in his eyes.

"Rosalie! What exactly do you think you are doing?" He asked me disbelief tainting his tone.

Esme was looking at me, with a mix of emotions I did not understand, at least not all of them. Her face was cracked, and it was already healing slowly.

"Leave us!" Esme said, in a tone of voice that made you want to do her bidding obediently like a good child, because you certainly didn't feel like trying what she had in store for you if you didn't.

"Darling …" Carlisle started, but Esme waved him off.

"Leave us, now! And out of hearing distance at that." She repeated herself, colder than she had before.

Emmett let go of my arm, and I did not move. Both he and Carlisle exited through the front door, and Esme waited patiently until we could not hear them anymore.

She then slowly walked in my direction and looked at me intensely.

"Do not look at me this way." I told her aggressively.

"And how should I look at you dear?" Esme asked almost … tenderly.

"Not like that." I said again.

"You mean, not like you are mine?" She insisted.

"I am not y…" I started.

"Yes you are! You are my child, you are my daughter, you are mine." She hammered, taking a step closer to me with each word.

"I held you to my heart for 3 days, I bathed you, I rocked you, I listened to your cries and screams, as you begged for your death, and I promised you, I would be there and I would never abandon you. I have looked after you and loved you for seventy two years." She went on looking at me straight in the eyes.

"You are mine" She told me, with all the love she had in her heart.

"I am a Hale, I am Rosalie Lillian Hale." I spat at her, with all the contempt I could gather.

"Oh yes you are a Hale," she then said, "and you are my child, no matter your name." she was at arm length now and I saw her hands extend to my arms.

"Don't …" I warned her.

"I am sorry Rosalie. I am sorry." She repeated several time, like a litany, taking the last step separating us and slowly bringing her right hand to my face, stroking my cheek softly.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, barely tolerating the contact.

"Because I let you down, when I promised I would not." She answered sadly.

"I don't understand." I admitted simply.

She wrapped both her arms around me, and I went rigid. I felt her right hand caressing my hair, while her left arm was holding me by the waist. Her scent was slowly registering with my brain, and I couldn't help but close my eyes. Her scent was so intoxicating, and the reasons why were so disturbing to me. I could not resist it. She was the very first thing I remembered awaking as a vampire. I thought her scent had actually penetrated every fiber of my being before I even had opened my eyes. The sweet scent of apples, baked in caramel and cinnamon, floating inside the fragrance of sandal woods. I think she could make a human hungry, hungry for her, and her care, just with her scent.

Sometimes it felt like my instinct had recognized her beside me. Like a cub when they first open their eyes, identifies with the first warm, breathing being to come close to them. She had made sure. She was the very first immortal, non-breathing, dead, warm being to come close to me, when I was just a cub. I wanted to cut her as deep as her love reached inside of me and I could not help but to give in, to her touch, to her warmth, as if I was conditioned that way. Fighting her was useless. I had tried, for a good decade, or two, well make that three, after being turned, and then some. I still fought her to this day, in vain. That's why I had put as much distance between us as I could, why I never allowed myself too close to her, so I would not crave her touch, or her presence, even in the house.

It had worked just about fine until that night a couple years ago.

I was standing still, with my eyes closed and I could feel her breath caress the soft skin of my neck just below my earlobe. She whispered softly:

"I let go of you, because I thought you needed it. I should have never stopped trying. I apologize for that Rosalie."

I didn't move nor talk, I was petrified, and it took all I have to not melt into her, relax in her loving embrace.

"You are my daughter, and I know who you are. My brave, strong, amazing Rosalie, with so much dignity, and honor, always ready to do what needs to be done, to protect us all, self righteous, carefree idiots."

She kissed my left cheek, and put her forehead to mine for an instant. I kept my eyes closed.

"Look at me Rosalie, please my dear Rosalie." She cooed.

"No …" I whispered back to her.

"Look at me darling." She insisted, waiting patiently.

I opened my eyes, slowly, to meet her gaze and I held it, for as long as I could.

"You are my temple. You are our temple, the refuge of our bounds, the safety of our family, to which you try so hard not to belong. You are the guardian of our lives. We are your burden and you bear it, silently, with all that you are." She smiled at me.

"I know you can help Bella, I know you, if there is anyone who can, you are the one. You don't have to do it alone though." She finished sadder.

"Yes I do." I whispered back to her.

She was silent for a few moments, and looked at me intently.

"You know something that I don't." It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded. She took a moment to think, and I could see the scenarios and possibilities play in her mind, until she reached the conclusive point of her reasoning.

"Alice …"

I didn't need to nod or say anything, and she wrapped me closer in her arms again.

"Oh Rosalie …" She whispered in my ear.

"Let me go." I said louder.

"Never again." She answered me seriously, looking at me again.

I looked at her as well and studied her for a moment. The collar of her blouse was open, a couple buttons undone, and I could see, her jugular, the decent of her neck to her collar bone, the birth of the nape of her neck, where I could guess the landscape of a moon crescent shape, the scar of a profound bite. I lifted my right hand to her front, grazing the skin of her throat with my finger tips, touching her all the way to the back of her neck, inside of her shirt, feeling the carving my teeth had left on her skin, where I had bitten her.

I sighed, and very slowly let my head forward, until my forehead was resting on her shoulder.

"You have to leave …" I said, tiredness in my voice.

"Tomorrow, once we talk to Bella. And I will come back for weekends, you can count on that." She answered me, caving in.

"Okay …" I breathed. I kept my eyes closed, trying to calm the turmoil raging inside of me.

I listened to the sounds around me, while loosening my grip on my body, allowing myself to be slightly more relaxed in Esme's arms. I heard the movement of the wind in the leaves, the street, with cars, and pedestrians, the engines, and breaks. The sound of Esme's hand caressing my back and my hair, and then the sound of Bella's heart, beating lively, strong and fast, almost wildly …

Almost wildly. I lifted up my head from Esme's shoulder, eyes wide. Where was she? I listened harder and I heard her footsteps, the second floor. I heard her hand touching something metallic, and I felt the rush of fear that infuriated her adrenaline level. Her heart was getting faster and faster, she was trembling.

I turned around just as she was reaching the edge of the second floor, passed the guardrail, I lifted my hand and mouthed: "No!" just as she let herself fall forward. I felt my desire to freeze reach my synapses, I felt the instinctive urgency to protect her burst into all my nerves terminals, both electrical information colliding with each other in slow motion.

Then before I could actually register it, I had jumped, landing on the first guardrail in one leap, then leaning on it for a second one, bouncing straight into Bella's trajectory. I caught her, as gently as I knew how and in the momentum of my movement, landed both of us on the ground of the second floor.

I held her against my chest, taking a breath of useless air, allowing myself a millisecond to check my taste buds for any blood, her breathing and heart rate. Still holding her at arm length, I observed her body first, making sure I had not broken any of her bones, or hurt her too badly.

When I was satisfied with my inspection, which took merely a few seconds, I eventually looked into her eyes. She had tears welling up in her chocolate eyes and was looking at me incredulously.

I felt the dam of my fear for her break loose in my heart.

"Are you totally out of your mind?" I asked her harshly.

She did not answer, and I shook her a little, wanting to wake her up from her stupor.

"Do not ever do that again you hear me?"

She was quiet.

"Do you realize that you most likely would not die from the fall, you would break yourself badly, probably paralyze yourself, but you would not die this way." I continued.

"You were gone." She said softly.

"I was … gone …" I repeated after her, shaking my head.

"You hit Esme." She went on. "You hit Esme because of me."

"I did not hit Esme because of you. I hit her because of me. It has nothing to do with you." I answered her.

"And even if it did, it is certainly not a good enough reason for you to throw yourself from the second floor. There is no good reason for that."

The tears were falling from her eyes freely, and I pulled her to me, gently. I felt Esme's presence to my right side, and she told me Carlisle and Emmett were coming back.

I lifted Bella up in my arms, bridal style, and kept her close to me, while I walked back to her bedroom, at human pace. I was scared. She actually had scared me. I almost had let her die, well killed her really. The fall would not have killed her, but her blood spilled underneath her and sprayed all around would have been her death sentence.

I brought her back to her bed, laying her down under her covers again. _"What am I going to do with her?"_ I couldn't help but ask myself, _"She scared me. I am scared for her."_ I took a deep breath of her lively scent, and let the venom flow my mouth, scorching every inch of my insights. I would never leave her unattended again, no matter why.

_"How are you supposed to feed?"_ I thought to myself, and really, I could see the entirety of the task, lying in my arms, and I should have wanted Emmett to stay, and Esme too, but the only think I could think of was for them to be gone. _"I will find a way, because I am a Hale, and I made a promise."_

I kicked both my shoes and entered the bed right beside Bella, wrapping her in her comforter before securely holding her to my body.

"You were gone." She whispered in my neck, in between two sniffles.

"I know Bella, I am sorry, I was not with you when you woke up." I told her sincerely. "I won't leave you alone again."

"You're sure?" She asked.

"Yes." I assured her, firmly.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] I wrote a prequel to this story called "In Her Claws" that you will find on my profile, if you want to understand better where the punch is coming from.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your fidelity.

C.


	11. Chapter 11: Milady

**Synopsis: **Rosalie's turmoil never ends, and after Esme comes Carlisle, in the midst of preparing Bella for the first day of her new life in Seattle.

**Setting: **Seattle, Washington, Fire Station, Tuesday September 21th 2005, morning.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

Bella had been sleeping for a good eight hours. I was not that surprised, with how much she had been sleeping in the past few days. A shock like the one she just had was enough to exhaust her entirely. She was resting, peaceful in my arms, completely entangled into me and I had not moved, lost in my contemplation of the girl and the situation.

I heard a soft knock on the bedroom door and Carlisle came in. He walked to the bed and said:

"Can I sit here?" He indicated the foot of the bed.

"Please." I answered him, sarcastic in thoughts, equal in voice.

He sat gently, and quite neatly, in his fashion.

"Esme and Emmett went for a hunt, your mother insisted we all fed before seeing Bella and saying our goodbyes." He looked at me quite seriously, "I decided to stay behind."

"Carlisle …" I started but was interrupted by Carlisle hushing me with his raised hand.

"You disrespected your mother, Rosalie, you hit her." His tone was firm, though not aggressive or reproachful, it had a dash of disappointment into it.

"I …" Again, Carlisle raised his hand to signal me to be quiet.

He was upset, upset for him that is. He simply looked more serious and there was a little frown on his forehead. However, I knew by the tone of his voice he had forgiven me already.

"She insists on defending you, and taking the blame for what happened, which I understand. However, I am incredibly shocked that you raised your hand to her face, Rosalie, you of all people. I expected more."

I bowed my head at him. He was right, I, Rosalie Lillian Hale, had acted like a commoner. We both knew _that_, would never happen again.

He looked at me, for a moment, observing me, holding the girl in my arms. Her peaceful and content expression was hard to miss. His eyes were going back and forth, from Bella to me, and he seemed to ponder very carefully what he wanted to say.

Then Carlisle spoke softly: "She seems to be comfortable with you." He continued, "I have to say it surprises me, that she would cling to you so strongly."

I was getting agitated, as much as I was immobile, there, in bed with Bella. I felt my insides boil with frustration.

"You mean, _me_, of all people." I retorted.

He looked at me, compassion and sorrow dominating his eyes.

"I simply meant, that she seemed to fear you more than any of us, but in her despair, she unconsciously chose the most reliable person she could have chosen to entrust her life to and ensure that she would remain in this world. It's surprising, considering her explicit will to die, and also quite mesmerizing, as always, to witness the primal instinct of survival within the human self."

He paused, and then went on:

"Why do you always assume the worse, Kitty?" He asked in earnest, before continuing, "I had hoped that after so many years, you would have found some peace in your heart. Especially after what happened between you and Esme, and all the bounds you have created with your siblings."

I was not surprised, just intrigued. "So you have always known." It was not a question.

His eyes locked with mine, filled with love: "Indeed. Your mother and I share a vast majority of things, Rosalie, she most certainly did not intend for one second to keep your … moment together, a secret from me."

Beside my dislike of where this conversation was bound to take us, I could not help but feel admiration for Carlisle. His acceptance was humbling. I could see that no matter what had happened between him and Esme, they had dealt with it, well, with _me_, and both agreed not to involve me further, most likely in a desire to spare me, as if I was this weak little thing, incapable of handling the aftermath of my behavior.

He paused, then sighed before carrying on, "You are my daughter, I brought you to this life. I like to believe there is more to it than just turning you into a vampire."

His love pierced me, like a stake, just as his words did. We had had a couple conversations of the sort over the decades, but why today?

"You shouldn't have, Carlisle, you should have let me die."

He shook his head softly, "I could not. You were so hurt, Kitty, what they did to you …" Anger showed in his gentle eyes, even now he still could not accept the ugliness of humanity.

"You should have let me die, in the mire." I said harshly, "Not condemn me to this eternity of … of absurdity."

He smiled sadly, "I am a weak man, Rosalie, my dear, weak and selfish, for I could not let death have you. Not you, my beautiful Rosalie, you have so much to give this world, to give to our world."

I continued, as cold as ice: "But you did not know that then, did you _father_?"

"Not that night, when you found me, and thought I would be suited for your son, a beautiful daughter for your wife, a perfect addition to your perfect family. All you thought then was that I was indeed beautiful and educated, and you could save me, you could be a God all mighty and merciful. Surely the real One could not deny that I deserved to be saved."

He whispered, pain transpiring form his body language: "Rosalie …"

And I carried on, harsher than ever: "What is it with you people and that need to whisper my name, as if your pleas could erase what you have done. We are not God, Carlisle, we are frozen in time, we endure, this age, and the next, and we are never free. We are slaves to our thirst, slaves to our instincts, slaves to the Volturi, slaves to our solitude."

"I will not have her changed, even if she wanted it. And you have to leave, or the day Aro shakes your hand again, will be the day you are killed. And for as much as I am angry with you for making me what I am, you are a good man Carlisle. You are a good man, and I don't want you to be hurt, neither you, nor my mother, nor my siblings, not even stupid Edward."

He was looking at me intensely, and said: "I will not let anyone arm you, Rosalie, I would rather die first. I will not allow our family to be destroyed. It is my role to protect you, my darling daughter." He was determined and serious in his speech, "You are loved, you are wanted, and you are my pride, even in your hatred of me."

He inclined his head to the side, smiling. It was the closest to a crooked smile I had ever been given to see on Carlisle's lips, and he spoke again, offering me a taste of his usually well hidden British accent: "Have some faith in your humble servant, I beg of you, Milady."

I closed my eyes, and breathed deep, letting Bella's scent wash over me, looking for serenity in the pain of my lust for her.

I reopened my eyes and looked at the man, with his golden eyes, his gentle demeanor and the wise air oozing off of him.

I felt tired.

I almost wished I could sleep, like the human in my arms, and let the burden of my existence dissipate, like wind blows away autumn leaves.

I smiled back at him, "I shall consider it, Milord."

He then said more seriously, "I trust your judgment, Rosalie, and your control." He stood up and continued, "I left a missive on your desk, with the instructions and information you will need regarding Bella's schooling and healing process. I also enclosed some advices and ideas on how to deal with certain situations."

He had a hand behind his back, telling me in gentle words how he would check on Emmett for me, letting me understand he accepted our separation, and didn't think less of any of us. I suspected Esme had explained the reasons of my decision, and told him of my preferences since that night, of course.

When he was done, he smiled and walked in direction of the door.

"Father!" I interrupted.

"Yes, Darling dear?" he answered, looking at me.

"I do not hate you, father." I said looking into his eyes.

He smiled wider, and walked over to me, bending down to kiss my forehead. He caressed my cheek with his right hand, lifting my chin up.

Then he said, "And I love you, Rosalie, my child, for exactly who you are. Take good care of Bella, and yourself." He went on, "Do not stay away for too long, Kitty, we will miss you terribly, it worries your mother, and the house will feel dreadfully foreign without your outbursts."

He chuckled to himself and left the room.

I would not have minded being able to precise that my 'outbursts' were not so much outbursts as passionate debates, and that at least I was not an angst sissy like Edward or an overbearing feisty little fairy like Alice, but, it would have woken Bella, and, well I did not feel like explaining myself.

I was a Hale, and Hales did not have outbursts, they expressed themselves with the passion of determination when the matter called for it.

He left the Fire Station shortly after he exited the room, most likely to rejoin the others.

Bella chose this moment to stir in my arms and slowly reach consciousness. I had a feeling of déjà vu, when she opened her eyes, content that I was still present and stretching like a kitten after a long nap.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, in greetings.

"Yes, thank you." She answered politely.

I thought of what order I should go about Bella's morning things, and decided it was probably wiser to start on a routine right away, so she would know what to expect the next mornings to come.

"Do you need to use the restroom?" I asked her, matter of fact.

She nodded.

"Very well, we'll go to the bathroom then, you can use the restroom and do your ablutions." I added with the same tone.

She looked at me carefully and asked: "What are my ablutions?"

I chuckled slightly at her lack in vernacular and decided to explain: "Doing your ablutions means you wash yourself. It is an old word that refers to times long before water arrived directly in houses. People had to draw it at the well. There were no bathroom, and water was poured in a basin, for richer persons, others simply washed in fountains. However, most often, the water was cold, and one had to be energetic about the washing, to give them courage, especially in the winter. Water was splashed and moved around, making some noise. There was also a purifying, religious dimension to it, especially amongst, Christians, Jewish, and Muslims. It was a parallelism to washing yourself of your sins."

She was looking at me with big eyes, very quietly.

I looked back at her and smiled: "And that's the end of the lesson for the morning." I moved my hands, showing her away and said "off you go now, to the bathroom, young lady."

She was still holding onto me, and made no signs of moving away from me.

"You know I can make you go, Bella, you might want to try and cooperate," I advised her nicely, "maybe you will find it less constraining if you choose to do things of your own free will."

She had her face in my shirt then, literally in my stomach, and she said muffled "Do you really have to go with me when I have to go?"

I could tell she was blushing strongly, and it took me a second to refocus on the conversation at hand. I chuckled softly:

"Yes I do, for now." I continued, more serious, "When you are better, and you can be trusted, you can go on your own."

She sighed, but remained quiet.

I made her slide back up, holding her by her arms, as gently as possible, and I lifted her up in my arms, bridal style. She looked at me intensely, as her face got closer to mine, her blush tantalizing, and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I won't let you fall, Bella." I said, reassuringly.

"I know," She said softly, tightening her grip around my neck and resting her forehead against my jaw. "I could have walked, you know?"

It was strange, how she made me soft and gentle. All I wanted to do was to protect and comfort the precious human girl. 'Precious?' Since when did I think of Bella as precious? I shook my head mentally, casting the thoughts away, she was not a child, not my child, she was neither my sister nor my friend, and she was not my mate either. She was just a human girl, the girl I was in charge of, and harshness was not going to make her better, at least not yet.

Yes, for now, I had to be gentler than I was used to, it was necessary.

"Of course you could have." I responded to her, _gently_.

I walked to the bathroom, and deposited her on the floor, in front of the toilets. She undid her pajamas bottom and sat down. I walked passed her and went to turn on the shower stream, so as to give her a little privacy. She wiped herself and flushed, standing up, walking over to the counter, with her sink and mirror. She washed her hands, and then looked up, meeting her reflection in the mirror. She was still swollen, but her eyes were not bloodshot anymore, however her neck was a radiant shade of purple and green, reminding her clearly of what she had done.

She looked around taking in her bathroom, with the fluffy towels, the lotions and products she liked to use, and others Esme had thought appropriate. There was everything she needed, and everything else she did not know she could need. Esme had out done herself, as she had with the room, and the rest of the loft.

I walked over to her and she turned around, looking up at me.

"This is too much, Rosalie, I don't know what to say." She said, sadness tainting her voice.

"You don't have to say anything." I reassured her, before continuing, "I want you to be comfortable here."

"It's beautiful …" She whispered.

"Indeed." I confirmed.

I took her right hand and lifted her arm, pulling her sleeve, she bent her arm and I removed the fabric from her shoulder. I did the same with her left arm and then pushed the fabric above her head, living her topless in front of me. She pulled her arm up, crossing them on her chest, and I could see the goose bumps on her skin. She was shivering at every of my touch.

"Are you cold?" I asked, as I took her left arm in my hand again, exposing her left breast, and undid the bandage covering it, delicately.

"No," she whispered.

I took her other hand, and repeated the motion. She was now opened in front of me, and this time she did not try to cover herself.

I undid the lace at her waist, holding her pajamas pants and I tugged them past her hips, letting them fall to her ankles, looking down at her as I did. She shivered again, and stepped out of them. I was aware this time, of her arousal, slowly pooling inside of her, and how her skin reacted to every single little brush of my fingers. It was, exhilarating, the effect I had on her. I suspected Edward had probably the same effect, and I wondered, marveled, at his self-control. It was so very tempting to push her up on that counter, and deflower her, of her shyness, of her inhibitions, getting her high on her own pleasure, before killing her. The idea was delightful, and she was not my singer.

Bella's chest was heaving, and I realized I was still slightly touching her with my finger tips. She was dazzled, and wet, trembling, from the effect my proximity was imposing on her body, her nerves endings, and hormones.

She was completely naked and vulnerable, and I liked it. 'Careful, Rosalie' I warned myself, she is not a prey, and she is not a snack either.

"Your wounds are drying. I will not bandage them for today. They need air to keep the process going." I held her left hand in mine and examined her forearm. "You are healing properly, just make sure to be careful in your movement and not rub on anything."

She nodded, it was obviously difficult for her to speak.

I decided to cut short her torments and said:

"Let's get you in the shower, the others will be back anytime now."

She nodded again and I guided her to the shower that was now at the right temperature for her to wash. Once she was done, I made sure to dry her myself, I didn't want the fresh scabs on her forearms to rip. Then we went to her walk-in closet, and she had to stop, the amount of clothes making her dizzy.

We looked at one another, clearly thinking the same.

"Alice!" We both exclaimed simultaneously.

I regretted saying her name the second it left my lips, for Bella's face darkened immediately and sadness overtook her, mixed with a somber expression of anger.

She shook her head and looked, blindly at the floor, going back to an empty expression.

"You have excellent reasons to be angry at Alice, Bella, just as much as it is agreeable for you to be sad or angry at Edward." I told her simply, just to make sure she understood I would not mind it, if she had ill feelings toward her best friend, or her boy friend, who both abandoned her to her fate.

She didn't say another word and I walked in the closet to retrieve an outfit, suitable for her personality. I was looking for something casual and comfortable, yet classy enough. Something that would make her feel good about herself, if that was possible. She also needed something that could hide the nasty bruises on her neck, long sleeves of course.

I got underwear and a pair of Chuck Taylors to complete the outfit. I deposited her clothes at the feet of her bed and gestured for her towel. I was hoping she would dress herself, but she had gone into a muted silence and attitude, not making eye contact, simply behaving as a compliant doll.

I dressed her, from her panties and bra to tying her shoe laces. Then, I gently guided her to the coiffeuse, and she sat in the comfortable armchair. I dried her hair, thoroughly, and brushed it, appreciating the softness of her brown hair, arranging her locks and the little curls she had here and there. She was quiet, and ignored me when I asked:

"Are you hungry?"

She was closed, and sticking to it like a muscle to its rock.

She was not going to eat willingly, that much was clear, and it was almost time for the Cullen to leave. We had yet to discuss that.

"Bella, please look at me." I asked her softly, my voice as gentle as it could be.

She hesitated, her lip moving just a little, her look regaining some sort of life into it.

I kneeled down close to her, so I could look in her eyes, and I saw tears, building up.

"Oh, Bella …" I whispered, pulling her to me ever so delicately.

She let herself fall down the chair, directly into my lap, and again she wrapped her arms around me, clinging to me, with all her strength, as if making sure that I was real. She started sobbing, very hard, and I held her to me, for as long as the fit lasted. I rocked her, in my lap, and caressed her hair, letting her cry, a good cry, she was going to have to be brave again very soon.

Once she had calmed down and her sobs had dried, she sniffled a little and I handed her a tissue, from the coiffeuse. She blew her nose and said weakly:

"I am sorry."

"There is no need to be sorry Bella," I said wholeheartedly, "for what it's worth, I would kill them both if it were me."

"You would?" She asked with a tiny voice, like a little girl who wouldn't mind kicking the little boy she's been told to give a kiss to.

I smiled at her, mischievously, "If it can make you feel better, I promise I will hand his behind to Edward next time I see him."

She smiled, and giggled a little, "You so would kick his ass."

I smiled wider, allowing her inappropriate usage of grammar and said: "Yes, indeed I 'so' would."

I took a breath and said: "Bella, there is something I need to tell you."

"They're leaving," she said calmly, "Esme and Carlisle, and Emmett, they're leaving aren't they?"

"Yes Bella, they are." I looked at her intrigued, still holding her in my arms, "May I ask how you figured it out?"

"I heard you telling Carlisle, and arguing with Esme." She went on, "before your fight."

"Yes, about that, it's unfortunate you had to witness such an inappropriate behavior, but really Bella, it was not about you, not directly." I told her, before continuing, "And don't you ever do something like last night ever again, it was completely futile." I looked at her with an air of seriousness.

She looked down, and I continued calmer.

"Are you upset to see them leave?"

"I don't know," she said, hesitant, "maybe it's better that way. Esme was very sad, and Carlisle is worried, and Emmett …" her voice cracked a little.

"Do you feel pressured?" I asked.

"I don't know what I feel," she went on, "I don't know anything, nothing makes sense. He said I was his life, she said we were to be the best of friends, Esme and Carlisle said I was family, and yet they all left me, all but you." She rested her head on my chest, she sounded exhausted. "You came back."

"Yes, I did, and I will stay with you." I stated, adding to myself, _'until I am not needed anymore and you can walk your own path.'_

"Okay," she said simply.

"Come now, let's go say our goodbyes and start working on getting you better." I really meant it.

"Rosalie?" She asked looking up at me, making sure she had my attention, "Will you carry me?"

"Yes, Bella," and I scooped her up in my arms.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] My dears, you will find on my profile proper greetings for this new year, and a new story, that I started publishing for Christmas. The title to it is 'In Her Claws', and it consists in a prequel, directly correlated to chapter 10 of this story. You were quite a few to ask me about what had happened between Rosalie and Esme, and of course, I had already planned it, before writing chapter 10. The truth is, I was asked, to write a story involving Esme and Rosalie, and I wanted it to take place into the grand scheme of my approach of Rosalie, as a coherent, character. The story is about 4 to 5 chapters long, and is now complete. I hope you will enjoy it.

It is good to see you all again,

C.


	12. Chapter 12: Silly Bear

**Synopsis:** It's now time for goodbyes, and Rosalie takes a moment with Emmett.

**Setting: **Seattle, Washington, Fire Station, Tuesday September 21th 2005, morning.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

Bella had her arms around my neck as I was walking down the stairs to reach the first floor. Esme smiled at us, and Carlisle stood up from the couch to join Esme in greeting us. I could not see Emmett.

I came closer to them and after a reassuring look to Bella, I deposited her to her feet. She stayed by my side, taking my left hand in hers, intertwining our fingers.

"How are you feeling today Bella?" Esme asked, smiling at her warmly.

"Okay." She said simply.

"I'll prepare some breakfast for you, sweetheart." Esme continued, extending her hand toward the kitchen and its long bar.

Bella looked at me, pleading, and I nodded her toward Esme. She paused for a moment, looking at me intently and she undid her fingers from mine, slowly. She sighed, and I squeezed her hand slightly. She shot a look back up and I smiled at her, just a tiny smile at the corner of my mouth.

I wanted her to go willingly, so I was trying to be encouraging. I could see in her eyes though, that she was following Esme for my benefit, not because she wanted to.

I let her go none the less, we had time for her willingness to develop, and what mattered for now was that she would eat.

I was concerned about Bella's eating. To be honest, I was concerned about Bella's everything. I had the whole bathing situation quite under control, but humans required at least three meals a day. I was going to have to cook.

Hadn't I been a vampire I would have shuttered. _Cooking_. Just thinking about it was agony, but what would be worse would be the scent of cooking. I knew that I would at least be able to protect my sanity with the amazing vent system we had designed for the Fire Station. The scent would not travel in the house, thank God.

I was not concerned only about feeding her. Feeding myself might be problematic as well, that and everything else Bella related anyway. I guess I had a lot of work ahead of me.

I decided to let this rest for a little while and I applied my focus to another concern of mine.

Turning my attention to Carlisle, I asked: "Carlisle, where is Emmett?"

Carlisle smiled at me and answered: "He said he had an errand to run, but that he would be back shortly."

"I see." Was all I let out.

I walked passed him, an ear standing guard on Bella's heart beat and other sounds, making sure she was well alive, since she really wasn't 'okay' at all.

Esme was being motherly and she was… And at that I wanted to pinch the bridge of my nose in exasperation, but I had to remind myself that, God forbid, I might have to do just as much myself- She was cooking. Or attempting too, because Esme knew as much about cooking as I did, which equaled to very little indeed but the few scraps we could both remember of our human lives on the matter.

I really hoped she had stored some cook books in the kitchen. I'd have to hunt healthy or close to healthy take out places on the internet. They must have a couple decent restaurants in the neighborhood. This was after all down town Seattle, just about the most expansive neighborhood in town. This would require inquisition, and of course Bella would be of no help on the matter, between her concerns for money and her burning desire to die, I would be lucky if she didn't try to starve herself on me.

As I was simultaneously reflecting on these issues, I decided to walk down the stairs to the entrance hall of my Fire Station and sit on one of the last few so I could have a good view of the entrance door and wait for Emmett to return.

Waiting is not such a hassle when you are a vampire, but I was never the best at it. Patience is a virtue, I do possess it, for the appropriate matters, but waiting for someone or something to materialize, or for other people's brain to catch up to my reasoning have never been one of those.

I was content though, to have the possibility to wait for Emmett. It was time alone, for starters, and I was not going to get much of that in the near future. It was also being as further away from the cooking stench that was created upstairs.

For a moment I thought of popping up the hood of my car to adjust the hydraulic shifting mechanism. It was bound to have been tempered by Emmett's heavy foot on my clutch pedal. He was such a heavy beast, though I had to give it to him, he could be surprisingly delicate and gentle when he decided to.

I had not thought about Emmett during the entire weekend, except when I realized how grateful I was for his presence. I was now aware that he was going to leave, and I would be alone with Bella. I would be alone, that is without Emmett, for the first time since 1935 when I found him bleeding to death, mauled by a bear and I brought him to Carlisle.

That was a glorious memory. He was literally a dying present, and I should have killed him on the spot. I was after all, vampirely speaking, nothing but a two year old, and you don't turn down such a fest. Not at two. Unless you are a Hale, of course, especially this Hale. After all, I killed Royce and his little friends quite gloriously indeed, and it was kind of messy. My Chanel wedding dress was ruined after that. I spilled a lot, but I didn't taste one drop.

I could not bring myself to let him die. I pulled a 'Carlisle' believe it or not. I ran for miles and miles to carry him to his savior. Or was it his executioner? I decided for Emmett to bring him over to this life, and he had always been so happy and grateful for it. It did not make up for what I did though. And all these years he had loved me in a way I could never return, that did not help either.

My Emmett was a good man, a grateful friend and son, a dedicated husband and companion. A strong man. Emmett was a man of his word, always ready to help, his hand on his heart. He was a solid, loyal good hearted man. He was everything a woman could ever dream of. Except for me. I had hurt him so deeply, yet he always looked at me with so much faith and love, it had almost become unbearable.

The front door opened and in came Emmett, all fresh of a run, smiling from one ear to the other at the sight of me, his hair a little wet from the morning dew. I stood up from being folded on myself on the stairs and came down the couple stairs separating us now that he had joined me in a couple long strides. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I felt him lift me up in his embrace, wrapping me up in his massive arms, holding me tightly to his chest.

I heard a heartfelt chuckle rumble in his chest: "Hey Rose, missed me much?"

"Maybe." I mumbled in his neck. He smelled deliciously good. I closed my eyes and let him rock us a little, enjoying the scent of fresh warm bread dipped in maple syrup and fixed in a surprising musky touch of mountain morning air charged of moss and pine resin that complemented the maple syrup familiar taste that emanated from him perfectly.

Emmett smelled of nature and a good breakfast, of childhood and a good adventure. His scent suited him like a charm. And I realized as he was holding me, that all of the Cullen's scents were very alluring and attractive, not just to humans, but to me also. Of course some were more attractive than others, and I could easily name Esme, Alice and Emmett on top of that list, but even Edward stupid scent was comfortable for me. Maybe I was more partial to my olfactory sense than I was the others. Though that wouldn't explain why James and his bitch Victoria smelled so distinctively bad to me. It wasn't that they stanched, but it was just really disagreeable to my senses. Just like their behavior.

Emmett gently settled me on my feet, and loosened his embrace on me but didn't let me go.

"I have a present for you!" He said with a childish grin. And at that he produced a little package from behind his back and lifted it up an inch from my face.

I detached myself from him to step back when I realized he had put me down on the first stair of the stairway and so I decided to sit down a couple stairs back up where I was previously. He came to sit by me, watching me eagerly as to encourage me to open his present.

I focused on the little package and decided to play along with Emmett. I lifted the thing to my ear and shook it. I heard a little clickety sound, like metal. I looked at him interrogatively, and he only said, adding gesture to his words:

"Come on, go on and open it!"

I then very slowly started to undo the package in my lap and was really surprised when I finally saw what it was.

I asked perplex: "What am I supposed to do with these Emmett?" I was dangling the hand-cuffs he had gotten me on the tip of my index finger.

He looked so proud and inspired I couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't just a prank. He answered me very deliberately: "It's for when you go hunt."

I went to ask a question but I realized I wasn't sure which one to ask first: "I … I am lost Emmett, why would I need hand-cuffs when I go hunting?"

"Well," he started with a wicked grin, "To attach Bella to a tree or something, so that she won't hurt herself while you're feeding."

He looked rather satisfied with himself.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep my face straight before I could say: "Emmett… You silly bear!"

He started laughing his warm booming laughter and holding himself so much he was amused at his silly stunt.

I laughed a bit with him, it was quite impossible to not laugh with Emmett when he was being that much of a goof. After a moment or so, I sighed, and he quieted down, looking at me with a smile, but it was a sad smile.

I looked back at him raising an eyebrow.

"Your face was priceless," he said gently, "as always." Then he added more quietly: "I am gonna miss it."

I put the hand-cuffs besides me on the stairs and scooped closer to Emmett, taking his big right hand in both of mines.

"I will miss you as well Emmett," I told him sincerely, "more than you think."

"Nah you won't." He pouted, "You're going to forget all about me the minute I am gone, 'cause that's what you've been wanting for years."

My face hardened a little at that and I leaned in to meet his gaze: "I will miss you Emmett, I have never been without you. It will be hard for me too."

He was being a big baboon, because he knew that I would miss him, he just wanted to hear that I loved him, and that he would always be special in my heart.

"Mhm…" he turned his face away, "Maybe you will for a minute or so. Then you'll be Rosalie Lillian Hale and you will prevail!" He straightened his chest and put his chin up, trying to mimic my proud demeanor.

It was probably true, I would miss him, and it would hurt, but I had indeed wanted my freedom, and I would most likely cast aside my feelings of loss to move on so I could cope. He knew me well, and I would not lie to him, but maybe I could lift up his mood.

"You know Emmett," I said caringly, "you are going to have plenty of fun in Denali, hunting big animals, and there is Tanya and Irina, and Ekaterina." I smiled a little at that, "I don't think you're going to have much time to think of me and maybe you'll be the one forgetting about me very soon."

"Never!" He swore, offended, "actually I thought about something to make sure you would not forget me." He produced another little package from his pocket and put it my lap.

So that was what he intended all along. I took the package and carefully undid the wrapping. It was a box, a small wooden box, as large as a credit card and square. I opened it slowly and it revealed the miniature of a bear, made of platinum, I could tell, holding in its arms a tuft of hair. Emmett's hair. I lifted the bear and admired the delicacy and precision of its features. This was a beautiful piece of crafting, it probably had required hundreds of hours of work, especially so because it was metal. It would endure for centuries, because it was platinum, one of the most precious, solid and coherent precious metal on earth.

"I used our wedding bands." He said calmly, watching me admire his craftsmanship.

"Emmett you did this?" I asked bewildered.

He nodded to me. "I was unhappy one day, after you had told me we should not be together anymore, and I started sculpting this bear in a piece of wood." He paused for a moment, "I wanted you to be able to keep something from me. Something that meant… I know you can't be my wife, but that doesn't mean that we don't love each other."

"No it doesn't." I agreed with him.

"So I took your wedding band after you stopped wearing it because I figured the wood wouldn't last long enough, and I started working on this little thing, melting it with mine. I thought it was symbolic for us." He explained, smiling at me softly.

"It's beautiful Emmett." I said to him honestly. "I will always keep it with me."

He smiled more at that and went on: "Actually, you can, because the size is just about right for you to put the little fellow in your Cullen's crest locket. You know the one you always wear."

I reached into my shirt with my hand and pulled out the long chain that was carrying the locket. I opened it and placed the miniature bear with Emmett's hair inside of it. It fit perfectly, just like he had said.

I smiled at him.

"See," he said proudly, "now I am always on your heart and you can never forget me."

I leaned in and kissed his cheek, tenderly, "It was very thoughtful of you Emmett. I love it."

"We should go up," he said, "Bella-Bear's done with her breakfast."

I nodded and got to my feet, preceding him in the stairs up to the first floor.

There we found Bella sitting on a couch as Carlisle was explaining to her some of what he had set up for her. She looked a little white in the face, obviously nervous and uncomfortable, though I could hear in Carlisle's voice that he was not the only reason for it.

"… You will see Bella," Carlisle concluded, "Jaime is an amazing therapist, and I am certain you will find it very beneficial to meet with her."

Bella gave a short nod and Carlisle turned to Emmett and me.

"Did everything go as you planned this morning son?" Carlisle asked Emmett kindly.

"Yeah it's all good, thanks." Emmett answered as he went to drop himself on the couch right by Bella.

He winked at her and said cheerfully: "Morning Bella! Enjoyed your breakfast?"

Bella relaxed just a little and nodded to Emmett: "Yes, thanks Emmett."

Carlisle stood from the couch he was sitting on with Esme, looking at me intensely and said: "I believe it's time for us to bid our farewells and take our leave."

Esme rose next to him, she had a sad expression on her face, but seemed resigned. She walked over to Bella who had stood up as well and she wrapped the girl in her arms, placing her head on the girls shoulder and bringing her tight to herself.

"All will be well again Bella," she smiled against Bella's cheek, "Rosalie will take good care of you, and I will come to visit you soon." She deposited a gentle kiss on Bella's left cheek. "You take good care of yourself, and you'll feel much better in no time. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything okay?"

She released the girl from her arms and Carlisle walked closer to Bella.

"I trust you are in the best hands possible, Rosalie will indeed take excellent care of you Bella." Carlisle said in turn. I wondered what it was with them trying to reassure Bella I would be good to her. I wasn't such … Well maybe I was, but still.

"I trust that you will soon improve and feel much better." He took her hands in his, and stroked her right cheek with his other hand.

"Thank you, Carlisle." Bella said with a blush and a shy whisper.

He stepped back and then Emmett came into view. Bella turned to him and before she could look up at him completely, he had lifted her up in a bear-hug, though he was very careful of her arm and her cuts.

He turned her around a couple time, and then as he let her go, he said lightly: "You take care of my Rosalie, okay Bella-Bear?"

Bella's face lit up at that and she nodded her approval: "Yeah okay, I will."

"I guess you should take care of you too alright? And eat well for me okay?" He added, ruffling her hair.

She nodded some more, smiling slightly at his silliness and I saw her shoulders relax a little. You could count on Emmett to lighten up the atmosphere.

I walked over to stand by Bella, and she took a couple steps closer to me, putting her hand in mine softly, as had become her new routine whenever I was around her. We walked down the stairs together, accompanying the Cullen to the garage and their respective cars.

Emmett would ride with Esme apparently, but before he walked to the car, he came to me and leaned in for one of his famous hugs. I looked at Bella in askance and she let go of my hand so I could return Emmett's hug.

"You'll be fine Emmett." I said in earnest, and he would be. He just needed a good distraction and then life would follow its course. Emmett was the kind of man that just needed something to do and a purpose to follow, once he would have found himself a new one, things would get much better for him. "Just don't look back too much and you will be happy again soon." I said to him, breathing his scent in one last time, "And it's not like we will never see each other again."

He let go of me regretfully and sighed: "Yeah, I know…"

I put both my hands on his cheeks and said looking at him in the eye one last time: "Come on cheer up, you know that I will never stop loving you and you are the best of friend I could ever have dreamed of."

He smiled and nodded, walking up to Esme's Z4 and taking his seat.

Carlisle then came to rest his hand on my left cheek and kissed my forehead: "I will miss you kitty, do take care of yourself will you?" He looked at me more intensely then and finished: "You know where to find me if you need any help."

"I do, thank you Carlisle." I answered soberly, though I highly doubted I would call him for help.

It was now Esme's turn, and I was thinking to myself that I wished these pleasantries would be done already. We looked like stupid humans, all emotional and soppy. It was aggravating.

She stood in front of me, and I rolled my eyes at her. She smiled her witty smile and wrapped her arms around my neck. I was taller than Esme, she kind of had to tip toe to kip leveled, and rolling my eyes once more, sighing loudly, I wrapped my arms around her lower back and she came resting against me.

"I love you Rosalie Hale." She said motherly.

"I know." I answered allegedly miffed.

She kissed my cheek and then I felt her lips discreetly pressed to my neck as she whispered in my ear, barely audible even for me: "I have missed you Rosalie, please let's talk again. Really talk."

I would need to think about granting her wish or not, but I could not answer it right then. So I told her the only thing I thought would be satisfying in this instant: "I shall consider it." She smiled on my skin and let go of me reluctantly.

She bowed slightly and went over to her roadster, Carlisle opening the door for her before he went to his Series 7 BMW. Bella walked over to my side once more taking my hand and I was the one to intertwine our fingers this time. She was doing really well, and I was pleasantly surprised at her poise.

Esme then said aloud: "Very well then girls. The both of you be good to each other and don't forget to keep in touch regularly, and with Charlie as well." She was about to say more but changed her mind, adding: "I will call you anyway!" And I had no doubt that she would, annoyingly so, call us at least every day and for every silly occasion she could come up with.

On that, the heavy garage double doors opened easily and they took off.

We waited down in the garage until the doors closed again. Bella then looked at me and I looked right back at her, wondering what was going to happen next.

"It's just you and me now." She said simply.

"Yes Bella, just you and me. Is that alright?" I asked her gently.

"Yes," she said, "I like it better that way."

I was certainly not expecting that, and I could not help the words that came out of my mouth: "Why is that?"

"Oh," She started in a typical Bella fashion, "well you see, I … um, I think you will take it much better than the others will when I die."

Were I not Rosalie Lillian Hale my jaw would have dropped to the floor in a Tex Avery fashion, Emmett's favorite cartoons.

The little shit was fucking serious.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] So it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do in this chapter, and it might be bit long and all, with the goodbyes, but I felt it was important to mark the moment where things are going to start for real. You guys better hold on, this was just the beginning.

[2] I wanted Emmett and Rosalie to have a moment to themselves, even though they had witnesses. I am going to miss Emmett. I am going to miss all of them but especially Emmett. Don't you guys worry too much, he's going off to have loads of fun to begin with, and then even if he will always have a thing for Rosalie, he will find happiness. I know it for sure because somebody like Emmett could never be sad forever, it simply wouldn't add up. You might even see him again around here, who knows…

[3] You guys ever seen Roger Rabbit? There is this scene in it, when coyote from Tex Avery sees Roger's super hot wife and his jaw drops to the table and all. It takes Betty Boop who's selling cigarettes to close it up for him. I just always wanted to write something like that somewhere, or make a funny reference to it.

Of course you can _imagine_ Rosalie's jaw falling, but it really doesn't. I mean she is Rosalie Lillian Hale okay?

[4] So I have been awfully busy, and long to post, but I am not abandoning my stories, I simply have a very demanding and full life. I guess I need to apologize to those of you who have been waiting for my updates all this time. I am not a very patient woman so I understand some of you might have really been annoyed with me.

In any case, I can't promise you when the next update will be on, but I can promise you that it will come. I hope you still will enjoy this and if some of you think this chapter is not the most important, I will agree in terms of facts, but it is an emotional miles stone.

Enjoy reading, and please know that I am grateful for all your reviews, your encouraging and sometimes demanding PMs, but most of all, your fidelity.

See you soon,

C.


	13. Chapter 13: And now what

**Synopsis:** Bella and Rosalie are alone at last, and it is time to get to work on Bella's recovery.

**Setting: **Seattle, Washington, Fire Station, Tuesday September 20th to Monday 26th 2005.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

She was standing there, by my side, as I was kind of frozen from her last words, wondering '_and now what?_' when she shivered against my arm.

"Are you cold Bella?" I asked her, concerned.

She shook her head slightly, but I could see that her finger nails were getting purplish. Then she yawned, and it became obvious that she needed to rest.

I motioned toward the stairs and she followed after me.

"Let's get you situated, you seem tired." I said simply.

She stopped in her tracks and stated: "I am not going to bed."

I turned around and looked at her, she had this stubborn look on her face, and I thought to myself that she looked different from the submissive girl I had seen before, completely infatuated with Edward, willing to agree to anything so she could see him again. She actually looked more like the girl I had met in the beginning, when Edward had saved her from that truck and she had decided she would get the truth out of him.

She had personality, and if she was going to make it, then it needed to come out of dormancy, and resurface, to give her the will to be alive again.

I decided to give her some leeway and asked: "What would you like to do then?"

Maybe she did not expect me to go along because she hesitated. She was rebelling toward care, but she was still Bella, and Bella had never been a rebel. She did not know how to be harsh or bad, she only had acted on opportunities so far, out of pain and putting herself down for everything that had happened in her world this past few days.

"How about something entertaining, a movie maybe?" I asked matter of fact. I was hoping she would agree, because she would be resting, and it would distract her from dwelling on the recent events. I could watch her easily and not force my presence on her so much.

She did not answer, so I resumed my pace up the stairs to the living room. There I encouraged her to sit on the couch, which she did, and I went to the fireplace.

I put several logs to the side of the hearth, and put together some small wood to start a fire. I used some newspaper sheets underneath and built a tipi. Then I lit it up with a long match. I could feel Bella watching me intently, though immobile, from the couch. The flames rapidly attacked the paper, then licked at the small wood and when it was solidly growing and starting to crack, I gently added several logs to the hearth on the fire.

She would be warm, and it was mesmerizing to watch. I had always found fire to be an excellent introspective escape, hypnotizing almost, and very relaxing on the soul and mind. I walked over to the couch and caught a large and fluffy fuzzy blanket that I unfolded to lay on Bella who sat back in the cushions and folded her knees to her side.

I asked, equal, "What movie would you like to watch?"

She shrugged, unconcerned. I went to the TV stand and looked on the shelves on the right of the screen. There were a long line of blue ray discs, and I scanned the movies rapidly, looking for something that was neither sad nor funny, something that was interesting but not too deep either. I remembered Bella's taste for literature and how she was reading swashbucklers these days. That would be perfect. Esme had gotten some of the French movies I like, including Daniel Auteuil staring in '_Le bossu'_.

"You'll have to follow the subtitles, but the French will be good for your studies. You do have a French class in your curriculum, don't you?" I inquired.

She nodded, and I was about to ask her if the cat had gotten her tongue but thought better of it. It had only been three days she could be sad and quiet, for now.

The movie went along as I was sitting close to Bella, who had switched position after a while, slowly shifting to my side of the couch, until she had fallen asleep, her head resting on my shoulder.

Bella had slept for four hours that morning, and ate some ice cream afterwards, to soothe her throat. She had spent the afternoon staring at the fire, or at the window, walking around the living room, now and then, watching TV mostly, but unable to follow any kind of program or activity long enough to fix her interest and attention on anything. The way she had been looking at the fire was making me dread to even avert my eyes from her.

In the next few days feeding her had proven difficult as well, she would have fruits, liquids, soup, yogurts here and there, but she had refused categorically to ingest any protein or carbs. Chicken soup and cantaloupes were good, but she needed more. I had progressively added noodles to the broth, and bread. She had taken in some cheese, and eggs in the mornings, but the quantities of food she absorbed were minimal, barely enough.

The only part of our newly instated routine that was going smoothly was actually her bathing. I had run a bath for her, every afternoon, staying with her at all times, hoping it would relax her. She had soaked and lay down in the water for about an hour every day of the week after the Cullen had left. Sometimes she would look at me, and tears would form in her eyes. Her sorrow was so heavy on her shoulders. She would tremble, and wrap herself in her thin arms, covered in scabs at different healing stages.

Bella was barely speaking, barely eating, and sometimes it felt like she was barely breathing. She clung to me at night, agitated and bothered in her slumber, waking up in screams and panics, sometimes calling Edward's name, or Alice's, until she would realize that she was with me. She cried in silence, big salty tears falling freely from her eyes and my presence did not seem to soothe her as much as I had hoped for.

I had been a shield between her and the rest of the world while the Cullen and her parents were still present. However, after their departure, she did not need to be shielded, and she had abandoned herself to her pain.

The next Monday morning, as I was watching her come closer to consciousness, knowing full well she was having nightmares, I decided enough was enough. Today she had her first appointment with Jaime, at 4:00 pm, but before that, we were going out. She needed air and something to do.

I slowly pulled her closer to me, wrapping her in my arms, as she was whimpering with pain in her sleep, her heart beating higher than it should have had she been peaceful. She took a hand full of my shirt, and almost climbed onto me, intertwining our legs, pressing herself as hard as she could into my body, nestling her face into my neck, taking in harder breaths, but letting out sounds of relief.

Her body heat was divine, and she was literally rubbing her entire body against mine. I could feel the humidity of the heavy breaths she released against my skin, her lips pressed to me and how tense her body was, hanging on to me as strongly as she could.

"Bella," I whispered in her ear softly, "you are safe Bella, I won't leave you." I was trying to soothe her some way or another, before she actually succeeded at tearing my shirt apart, as some of her flesh was already touching mine.

She was burning me, and I felt want flood my mouth. She smelled better than any other human I had encountered so far and I had not hunted in a whole week. My want did not only flood my mouth, I could also feel the cold venom sip through and damp my underwear.

She was making me wet, and her vulnerability was like a siren's song. I am a predator. There is nothing more exciting to me than a prey in distress. She was so hurt, so sad, so desperately in need.

I felt my hands touch the skin of her sides under her shirts before I had even materialized the thought in my brain. She was soft, and tender, and her skin contracted under my touch, making her shiver as she moaned in her now semi-conscious sleep. I let my fingertips trail to her lower back and she arched her back, pressing her pelvis into mine.

She was not aware of her movements, it was an experience of her senses. I simply felt good. 'Sex is a natural response to pain', I kept reminding myself, and once I had calmed my own instincts, I called her name again:

"Bella, wake up."

She stirred and rubbed her face against my shoulder until she realized what she was doing.

She lifted herself up on her arms and knees, hovering over me, her long hair cascading around her face down to my shoulders. Her shirt was loose, as was mine, and I could see the perkiness of her nipples and breasts. She took in our position as she was straddling me, and looked into my eyes for a moment.

I sat up, taking her in my arms and got up, walking in direction of the bathroom. She had no other choice but to hold on to me and my movement surprised her enough that she forgot her embarrassment.

"Let's get you cleaned up and ready." I said, business like, depositing her by the toilet in her bathroom.

"okay…" she whispered.

I prepared her toothbrush as she relieved herself, and handed it to her after she had washed her hands.

When she was done, I helped her out of her clothes, and examined her wounds.

"You are healing well." I said with a smile.

She stepped in the shower and washed herself. I then dried her with a long and puffy towel, careful not to touch her in the process. I could not lose myself in her humanity, I had to be the strong one for both of us, or she was going to die very easily.

Once dressed, I brushed her hair, and I could not help but realize how fragile human life is, looking at this broken girl, dangling between life and emptiness. Humans are ephemeral, but it is the essence of their beauty, the motor of their starvation for meaning and life, the reason why we vampires are monsters, no matter how perfect our design.

I was loathing myself for thinking I could make a difference in Bella's life. _I_ was not going to matter anymore than anybody else, and I needed to let go of that personal feeling that _I _could make a difference in her life because I am _me_. This was not about me.

She did not want to live, period.

It was so arrogant and egotistic, very Hale like, to think I was going to be her savior. Because I did, when I breathed air in her lungs? Yes, I can assure you it became personal. Saving her became more important than her.

At least it only took me a week to realize it and pity myself for the hard task at hand. Meanwhile, Bella was dying, inside and out and I could think of nothing to stop it.

And so I was going to try everything.

Shoes on, one by one, shoe laces, one by one, coat, light scarf, water bottle, protein bars, zipping the coat all the way up, leather gloves for me, a book in her bag, she was ready to go, without a word, without a look, without a breath longer than another.

She did not need to pee, she had categorically refused to eat, or drink, this morning until she had automatically taken a few sips of the water bottle on her desk after I had blow dried her hair. I was grateful for that.

We got out the door and I locked it, deciding we were going to walk, we could take a cab if she got tired. Stepping outside did not phase Bella anymore than… well anything these days, and the only sign that she had registered our change of scenery was her right hand finding my left and her left hand wrapping around my left arm. I was her shield again.

We walked softly along our street, and across the park, I did not really know where to go to, but I figured we would eventually find a place that had enough humans in it that it would indicate good food. We were in a very high-end neighborhood that should not be too hard to find.

The sky was grey, but no sign of rain, it was windy, and I was glad that I had packed Bella in a secure and warm winter coat. She had lost weight, enough that she looked a bit sick, and I was really hoping to startle her appetite with some nice odors or appealing human food in the window of a baker or a market. We walked slowly and Bella seemed to regain some colors from the exercise.

"Would you like to see something interesting Bella?" I asked.

She did not react.

"We have time before your appointment with Jaime, we could go and visit a museum or simply get better acquainted with the city. Have you taken the time to visit Seattle before?"

Again, not a word but I had to try.

"I guess we should start with the port. It's very pretty and all the streets are stone paved, like in Europe. They have authentic sailing ships from the eighteen hundreds. Maybe we will even hear a good pirate story." I added more to fill the void of her presence than conversation itself.

We walked to the port, which was west of us, but not that far. I could not tell if she enjoyed the view, and all the things I told her about the boats and life on board such ships. I talked to her about trades at the time, India and Africa. I told her about many Caribbean stories of filibusters and pirates, and vampires whom had been known to actually enroll in piracy and were the origin of many fantastic stories as Carlisle had once told me. I had left out the part about the Volturi tracking them down and sinking their ships, claiming all their treasures and goods, killing crews and followers.

The morning was actually passing by quite fast, and once we had gone through all the stories of Nantucket and other Moby Dick, it was time for lunch.

Bella was hungry, and if she would have denied it, her stomach did not allow it. We found a very nice restaurant that smelled more pungent to me than any other in the downtown area, it had a decent amount of people in it and a butler which I thought was a good sign.

Bella and I sat in a table that was not too central, as I had requested, and our waiter, in an impeccable uniform, displayed open menus in front of us and asked if we'd like to start lunch with a drink. I ordered a glass of Château Lafitte 1961, known for containing a 100% of Cabernet Sauvignon grapes and always a very nice scent to my delicate senses. Bella actually looked at me with curiosity at that, she was obviously not expecting me to order anything, and if she was, it was certainly not wine, that was about 3,000.00$ a bottle (without taxes).

"Would you like a glass?" I asked smiling.

"I can't drink, I am eighteen." She said without a pause.

"Would you like a glass?" I repeated to her, leaning in as if more secretive.

"What if…" She started.

"Leave it to me." I added knowingly.

She hesitated: "But…"

I raised an eyebrow, "Yes, Bella?"

She whispered: "It's against the law."

I rolled my eyes at her antics. Really now? It's against the law. Kids these days… "Bella, we live in a country where children can drive cars at 14 years old, and own a gun before they know how to read. You don't plan on buying beer and on binge drinking before driving do you? You are going to have a glass of Château Lafite Rothschild 1961, I hardly think you will be arrested for it, actually it might be considered a crime for you not to drink it."

She looked at me incredulously, and I went on: "Consider it a new step in your education."

I signaled the waiter (a short movement of the chin did the trick) and he inquired of what I desired.

"_Auriez-vous l'amabilité de nous apporter un second verre de Château Lafite pour notre amie qui a finalement décidé d'y goûter ?"_ I ordered politely.

"_Mais certainement_, _mademoiselle_." Said our very French waiter, of whom I knew I would be able to request anything now that he had acknowledged our common understanding of his mother tongue.

It is always useful to know people in the business of hotels, dining and entertainment. You would never believe what a well established concierge can do for people with enough money to afford their ingenuity, or whom a French waiter can introduce you to in times of need.

Benoît as was his name came back swiftly with the precious red liquid and placed the glass in front of a dumbfounded but very alive and present Bella who was about to have what I believed to be her first drink.

She was a virgin in so many things and ways, maybe I could have a bit of fun in showing her what life could be about.

I encouraged her to lift the glass and have a sip.

She hesitated, and after a deep breath and some more hesitation, she finally brought the glass to her lips and took some of the liquid in her mouth. I had explained to her how to drink the wine and actually taste it.

She put it back down and I looked at her in askance.

"How was it?" I said with a little smile.

"Oh," she started in a way that I had learned to identify with Bella, "um, well, it was a bit bitter, yet sweet, but not too much, and it's warm in the throat, but the aftertaste is kind of smoky, earthy almost."

"That's because the wine ages in wooden barrels." I explained, "And the warm feeling in your throat is the alcohol. The rest is up to your palette, the feeling is unique for every person."

"Oh." She concluded.

"He did not card me." She said surprised.

I chuckled, "This is a five stars restaurant Bella, and French at that, they are never going to card you or me for that matter."

"Nobody would card you anywhere." She blurted out, positive that she was right.

I looked at her, intrigued: "And why would that be?"

"Oh well, either people would be so dazzled by how beautiful you are and forget what they were talking to you for, or they would be intimidated by, um, well, how beautiful you are and never dare to ask you anything that could displease you." She finished her sentence quite quickly and remained silent, waiting for my reaction as a very nice and intense blush colored her cheeks.

"I guess you are right." I started laughing, "I think it suits me that way."

She smiled a little and I felt relief wash over me, overwhelmingly pleased that I had been able to make her smile.

We ordered food, well I ordered, Bella said I should be the one since I could speak French with Benoît, but I believed she simply liked to hear me speak another language. In exchange though, I asked her to explain to me why she had chosen the food she ordered, and mine, and I enjoyed learning a bit more about her tastes.

At first she ate very little of her meal, but as the French say "_l'appétit vient en mangeant_", and when you are eating such an excellent food, it is hard to resist eating more of it, even when depression is heavy on your heart.

Two in the afternoon arrived rapidly and as much as I felt content to be seating in a stinking and too crowded restaurant with the human girl, for she was livelier than she had been in days, it was time for us to go to Jaime's office.

The walk there would take us about half an hour, but maybe we would stop on the way, and I wanted Bella to have time to process and ask questions, if she had any. We took our time, and I purposefully tried to interest Bella in some potential shopping activities, along the way, but she did not seem to care so much.

She lifted her head at the sight of a very large Barnes & Noble's store with a very inviting Starbucks by its side. I made a note to take her there and maybe make it our Rendezvous spot after her sessions, since it was right by Jaime's office. I offered Bella to get her a drink from the coffee shop, but she refused to sit inside on the pretext that it was too busy.

In order to keep her warm, I proposed she got the drink to go and went inside to order it for her. I am not as stupid as to think she was going to stand there and wait for me patiently, but I was hoping that maybe there was a chance that she would.

I opened the door and stepped inside, keeping an eye on her and as a couple stepped in front of me to exit the Starbucks, Bella very deliberately stepped from the sidewalk on the pavement in the trajectory of a large and full city bus that would have absolutely no way to stop before hitting her.

I could see each element of the scene playing before my eyes in slow motion, and before she could take her last breath, looking at the bus, even before the information registered in the bus driver's brain, I had sped past all the humans, caught her in my arms and rushed her to the square that was across the large avenue.

Bella was in my arms, I was holding her head to my collar bone and chest with my right hand. Her eyes were closed and she was holding her breath.

"Breathe Bella." I said softly in her ear.

It took her a few more seconds, but eventually she let out her breath and got fresh oxygen instead. Then her shoulders sank and she started crying.

"It's my fault Bella, I am sorry." I told her seriously. "Don't be sad sweetheart, you were doing so well, I took the chance in hopes that maybe you would not and I should not have."

She buried her face in my chest even more.

"It was too soon, and stupid of me." I apologized, "Don't cry sweetie, I should not have put you in that situation."

I wrapped my arms around her tighter and shushed her softly, rocking us gently until she calmed down from the sobs shaking her.

I closed my eyes, listening to her heart calming down, her cries ceasing and her breathing getting back to normal.

I whispered: "Forgive me, Bella, I did not mean to hurt you like this."

She cleared her throat and said very low: "okay…"

I kept supporting her in my arms, and when another few minutes had gone by with me holding her, caressing her hair and rocking us, I led her to a bench nearby and we sat together, as I kept my arms around her.

My eyes were searching hers, and I was the one to break contact this time, ashamed of myself, and feeling the need to feed hit me like a semi-truck. She scooped a little closer to me and took the hand I had resting on my thigh in hers.

"Will you stay with me in the therapist office?" She asked in that little voice girls have after they've been crying.

"I will accompany you to Jaime's office, and I will be right there when you are ready to leave, but I can't go inside the room with you. It would bridge your privacy and break the therapeutic bond between you and your therapist." I explained.

"But you are going to hear anyway." She went on, looking at me intently. "You know… Super hearing stuff, thing, you guys have."

I nodded, "I would if I stayed in the building, but I will stay out of hearing distance."

She looked frightened and her eyes grew wider. "You're going to go away?"

I knew the feeling, leaving her alone with another vampire, one I had never met before, it was very disturbing, but Carlisle had insisted and he had also suggested I used the time for myself, specifically for hunting, if I could manage in such a short time. I did not know if I should tell Bella what I would be doing, she could use it against me, if not today, at another time, but I was not comfortable lying to her either.

"I think you need your privacy with your therapist Bella." I said to her truthfully, "Also, I need to hunt, and while you are with Jaime, I can be certain you are safe."

She looked into my eyes, realizing they were black, and had not been gold for a few days now.

"What if I don't like her, what if I want to go?" She then asked.

I handed her phone to her: "Then you call me, and I will come and get you right away."

She looked at me for a few seconds and nodded.

"But Bella, I really need you to try with Jaime. She is a friend of Carlisle, he trusts her, so we should be able to as well." I added, more motherly than I intended.

She did not say anything, and I did not dare hope. I guess we would have to see.

I bent over a little and kissed her brow, putting a strand of her hair back behind her ear so I could see her face better. She remained still, but her heart skipped a beat. She certainly had never thought that I could be tender with her.

She looked at her shoes, and asked: "Is it time?"

"Yes, it is." I answered, getting to my feet and offering her my hand.

We exited the square and walked around the block to Jaime's building. It was a town house, Victorian style, and her office was on the first floor. The house had a garden, rather luxurious, with growing vines and roses, sneaking around polls, climbing of the walls and all together, it created some sort of private alcove around the house, very ingenious and practical for a vampire to never be touched by the sun while outside even if they were in public. The canopy was quite thick, once I looked closer.

We climbed up the few stairs of the porch, which had a swing, and I rang the bell, of an impeccably maintained authentic Victorian household.

Jaime opened the door, with a gentle smile and greeted me first then Bella: "You must be Rosalie and Bella?"

"Indeed." I answered.

"Welcome to both of you, I am glad you are here." She continued, "Would you like to come in?" She gestured toward the inside of the house.

I took a step forward and Bella followed, attached to my arm as she had taken the habit to do. She was nervous and uncomfortable, her body temperature was high and her heart beating fast.

"She will relax," Jaime said on a frequency only I could hear, "Carlisle explained the situation and it is normal for all human to be scared in her situation, especially since I am a 'new' vampire."

I nodded slightly and Jaime went on for all our ears: "My office is right here, to the right, and it has a nice fireplace, so you won't get cold. I also prepared some tea for you, if you wish Bella."

"Thank you." Was Bella's polite answer, though she did not loosen up on my arm one bit.

I walked in Jaime's office to the couch, and stood in front of Bella, forcing her to let go of my arm. I looked at her and unbuttoned her coat, taking her scarf as well.

"You'll be safe here Bella, we're going to try this, and you know what to do if you need me." I said nicely but firmly.

She refused to look at me but I could see her gaze fixated on her jeans pocket, where her phone was and she nodded.

I stepped back from where she stood and turned around to leave. I stopped by the door, where Jaime was waiting for me to exit and I looked straight into her eyes saying only to her:

"If you hurt her, I will rip you apart."

Jaime blinked slowly and focused her intense golden gaze on me before she attempted to reassure me: "I am here to help, Rosalie. That is all I want to do. You can go hunt in peace."

"If you hurt her, I will rip you apart." I said slowly, returning her gaze with my most intense death glare.

She nodded: "I understand."

Good, we had an understanding.

"Bella, I will be back in two hours to pick you up." I said still looking at Jaime.

She gave me a little "okay…" and I left without looking back.

It was against all my instincts to leave the girl behind with a stranger, vegetarian or not, Jaime was a vampire, and Bella was just a human, a very appetizing human.

I started running as fast I possibly can, emptying my mind of all my concerns and worries.

Time to hunt.

* * *

**A/N:**

[1] _"Auriez-vous l'amabilité de nous apporter un second verre de Château Lafite pour notre amie qui a finalement décidé d'y goûter ?" _Literally it means "would you be amicable enough to bring us a second glass of Château Lafite for our friend here who finally decided to taste it?"

[2] "_Mais certainement_, _mademoiselle_." Here means: "But certainly, miss."

[3] "_l'appétit vient en mangeant_" is a French word to say "appetite comes when eating" though I think it doesn't do justice to the original.

[4] So this chapter is a bit of an eye opener for Rosalie, and my readers I guess. Vampire or not, even Jasper and his power would not be able to 'fix' Bella. Only Bella can fix Bella, and it is a gruesome, tiring process to go through, as well as to accompany. There is nothing glamorous about it and even with Rosalie being the most beautiful woman on earth, it will come when it comes, if that makes any sense.

[5] I won't drag the story longer than it needs to be, and each chapter will be an important moment of the time Rosalie and Bella are spending together. So no, you won't witness one of Bella's sessions with Jaime, and no I won't keep detailing each minute of the life at the Fire Station. However, over the time that passes, I will give you insights, in details of specific events, and we might jump a week or two or more in between.

(For those of you who would be saying 'And when is she gittin to the goods!', answer is: in due time, even if it is not too far away in number of chapters, it is in real time. She just got abandoned by Edward, her first love, and her best friend, and the Cullen, and she almost died, and she is all fucked up, so she might want to, but Rosalie being Rosalie…)

[6] Anyway… Again, thank you for your patience, I hope you enjoy this chapter which was a tad longer than usual and I will try to post as soon as possible.

If I don't catch you guys before then, happy holidays, Merry Christmas (I am inappropriate, and politically correct should not apply to Christmas) and Happy New Year!

Enjoy, don't drink and drive, wear a scarf and be nice to someone.

C.


	14. Chapter 14: Hold me

**Synopsis:** Bella and Rosalie return from Bella's first attempt at therapy, and Rosalie must handle the aftermath, as Bella is as vulnerable as ever.

**Setting:** Seattle, Washington, Tuesday September 27th 2005.

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

These two hours had been barely enough for me to feed properly, it wasn't enough, but was it ever? I was on Jaime's front porch two hours later, just in time to pick up the girl. My eyes were of a warm golden hue, but I had no illusions that it would not last very long once the girl was by my side again.

Jaime had opened her door to me, Bella shuffling behind her. The tall auburn haired and pale skinned woman was looking at me with a form of patience that I had not encountered in many, actually I only knew Carlisle to look at me this way, or more precisely, she was looking at me _somewhat_ like Carlisle would.

The vampire woman was very attractive, she was older, she had been older in her human years when turned, maybe thirty, it was hard to tell. Her eyes had been gold when I left her, but they were black now. '_Good_', I thought, '_She's had a taste of Bella Swan and now she will know to remember what I told her._' Of course she could not have forgotten, vampires do not forget, but she would know to remember what I would do to her, if she proved weak.

Her features were well defined, refined, softened by her will to be gentle and inspire trust. Deceiving as it looked to me, I guess it worked for her human patients. I could tell she was British, just by observing her body language, but I do not think Bella could have. Her accent was spotless, well almost, but again, humans would not notice. Her hair was long, gently resting on her right shoulder, free of any ties, perfectly straight, it must have been vibrant when the sun caught in it. She was wearing a silken blouse, of ivory color, neatly tucked in a pair of dark grey slacks, with leather flats, nothing pretentious, but she was classy anyway. The make-up was light but expert, she must have looked quite human to any human who would have to spend some time in relative closeness of her.

Her scent was entirely distinct from the perfume she was wearing, although it complemented it satisfactorily. She smelled fresh, zesty almost, it gave her this energetic tone, contrasting with the softness of her attitude. The scent made me think of a summer afternoon in a British garden, bright and lemony, fresh grass and brisk tingle of country air, a detailed and painted metal table, assorted chairs and a tea set, watching boys play cricket or tennis. She would be the one looking for an adventure, while others gossip, only looking up at you to roll her eyes trying not to snort, she would be an Alice seeking a rabbit hole and finding Wonderland fascinating. That kind of spirit emanated of her, knowledgeable, kind, but spicy, very capable of being zingy without an ounce of ill assorted taste.

She offered a small smile and said to Bella, turning around slowly, looking at me only, while she did: "Thank you for coming Bella, I will see you again on Thursday?"

"Ok", was the girl's answer, as she walked past Jaime to stand by my side, just furtively looking up at me before focusing on her shoes quietly.

"Same time?", I asked raising an eyebrow in question.

She inclined her head and said: "Yes, that would be just fine."

I nodded and turned around to leave.

Bella was quiet, by my side like an empty shell, a willing puppet, and I reflected on what would be appropriate to do next. I knew I wouldn't ask about what was said, it wasn't my place. Asking her how she was feeling seemed useless, I knew the answer to that already.

I studied her for a moment and Bella followed in queue linking our hands and taking my arm, as was her custom nowadays. We walked back the same way we had come, for a few feet, until I realized how irritated I was.

Bella looked drained, so I decided to spare her the walk and raised my hand to hail a cab. Once we were in, she kept her hand in mine, all the while looking through the window at the moving town and buildings, mute. We reached the Fire Station, I gave a twenty to the driver and exited the car, gently helping her out.

Inside on the second floor, what to do was clearer to me and once Bella was peeled off of her coat and other accessories, I asked matter of fact:

"Would you like to use the restroom?"

She nodded and walked toward her bathroom as I followed her. She undid herself and while she was sitting, I asked her quietly:

"Would you like to take a bath?"

She looked up at me from the toilet and nodded again. I waited for her to be finished and wash her hands before I offered, standing by the door of her bathroom:

"Come with me?"

She looked at me intrigued, tilting her head slightly. There was a bathtub in her bathroom. She sighed and walked toward me. I let her trail behind, at her pace, without holding her hand, as I walked toward my bedroom.

My room was significantly bigger than hers, and since she had not seen it yet, I smiled ahead getting a glint of the surprise on her face as she stopped to take it in.

The room was vast with a large king size bed to the left, dark wood, it looked heavy and solid, but not imposing. It had no head board but a bedside table on each side, simply four posts that weren't draped, beautiful white linens and many pillows. There was a mirror against the opposite wall, it was massive and old, with a beautifully ornate and hand-carved wooden frame, mated with golden leaves, as they used to do it in the 1700s in France. There was also a vanity on that wall but closer to the entrance where the door to the walking closet was. Deeper in the room, on the same wall was a fireplace, an assembly of a couple sofas and chairs, side tables, same century, style and wood as the mirror, facing an amazing window, round and colorful, from ceiling to floor, tainted and band soldered with what looked like silver but was in fact tin. There were a couple of fur rugs on the floor by the bed and the lounging area, white and light grays, rabbit fur. The sensation was always soft and delicate to my bare feet.

There was a cello resting close to the window, with a chair, some music sheets at its feet. The walls were bare, actually, compared to the rest of the house, the room looked quite empty. Then to the left of the window was the entrance to the bathroom.

I took my shoes off and let the vest I was wearing rest on the chair by my vanity. I let Bella take a couple of steps inside, and while she was still captivated, I entered my walking closet, dropped the clothes I was wearing on top, at my feet, and simply grabbed a white collared shirt. It was a man's shirt, my favorite, one I loved to wear to lounge. I walked back into my room rapidly, shirt still opened, barefooted in my faded blue jeans, as I was rolling my sleeves up to my elbows nonchalantly.

Bella looked at me, guessing more than seeing the absence of a bra and the skin of my stomach underneath the opened shirt, which elicited a deep and blazing blush to creep all the way from her neck to her cheeks. I breathed a small smirk as she caught herself staring and buttoned my shirt, in the same gesture I had rolled up my sleeves. I turned and walked to the bathroom, attacked once again by the venom that always accompanied her blushes, my eyes evidently ebony black, my hunt long forgotten.

Again the room was bigger than hers, and very different. Bella was impressed, and shy. The bathroom was luxurious, and had a beautiful window as well, directly on the park. There was a massive claw foot bathtub in its proximity and I went over to run the water. I poured in some bath salts and immediately a subtle, for the human, scent of cherry blossom filled the room. Although floral, the chemical scent didn't do anything to cover her delicious, natural perfume.

She was frozen in the center of the room, I could see she wanted to ask: "There is a bathtub in my bathroom, why did you take me here?". She was curious, that meant alive, and alive was better than walking dead. I walked back to her and without a word exchanged, I undid the buttons of her jeans and her zipper. I pulled her top layers off of her carefully, walking around her to undo her bra, I gently accompanied it off of her, careful for my fingers to only graze her skin as little as possible.

Her blush had actually been born from her lower back, and was lacing itself to her soft, creamy skin in a vivid contrast as it intensified. I watched the avalanche of goosebumps grow under my finger tips and she shivered violently when, still behind her, I let my hands in the hem of her pants, to her sides, into her underwear, and softly pulled it down as I lowered myself to my knees.

She stepped out of them, grabbing the hand I had offered her to her right for support. I got back up and stood still, behind Bella, her breath itching and her body trembling slightly. I would have thought myself cruel, to be provoking the human girl this way, if it hadn't been as difficult for me as it was for her.

The venom was flooding my mouth freely, scorching my insides. There was so much, I would have liked to be permitted the luxury of spitting it out. Again I was inexorably tempted to possess her, her blood, her arousal, which was now potent in the air, her pain, her life, her being. I stood there, so close, yet so far, waiting furiously as the heat radiated from her body into mine, as fluidly as the intensity of my anger, my passionate rage for her life, was radiating off of me. I was waiting, craving her, I was waiting for her to break the moment, and care for her life, for her modesty, for... something, anything.

"Rosalie..." She whispered, her voice hoarse from the silence.

"Go on." I said equally, knowing she would know where to go.

She stepped in the tub, shutting off the faucet and clutching each side as she lowered herself to seat in the water. I retrieved the chair from my vanity, tossing the jacket on my bed, and sat myself in front of her, but to the right side of the large tub.

She hesitantly leaned back in the water and I saw her body gradually relax as the hot water and foam covered her. She took the time to get acclimated to the temperature of the bath and I saw her eyes look for shampoo and a wash cloth. She looked at me and I made no move to take control. She could tend to herself. She used the shower head to wet her hair and washed it, before rinsing it off of the last of conditioner she had put in. She then used the wash cloth to gently rub against her skin.

I watched Bella clean herself, observing how she touched herself, how much care, or lack of, she used, where she lingered, where she was sensitive, where she was embarrassed and shy. I was completely still and silent, as she tentatively let go of her self-consciousness with each stroke, each caress of the water. When she finished, she allowed herself to lie-down in the water, sighing discretely and closing her eyes.

She was laying in the water, steam ethereally raising from her body. Her soft and regular breath was the only sound grounding me to my seat. Bella opened her eyes and looked at me for a minute, maybe more, and then she casually let her head immerse into the water, fully. I counted the seconds, somewhere in the back of my mind, and as if she could feel my doubts rising, she reappeared after twenty seconds.

She wasn't out of breath. She looked at me, again, with the same soft, tranquil look, and let herself down under the water again. I counted thirty seconds this time, before she emerged. Bella breathed, a little deeper, a few more times, still looking at me, as if to reassure me she wasn't playing the game for danger, for pain, or to provoke me.

I saw her breathe more air in than usual and let herself slide under. This time she only emerged after forty seconds and her breathing was a bit more ragged than before, her body wanting oxygen. She allowed herself to recuperate, watching me intently. Then she immersed herself again, but didn't come back up after forty seconds.

When I counted fifty eight seconds, I rushed over to her in one swift movement she could have never caught, and gently place my hand on the nape of her neck as her head was still under water. I pulled her up accompanied by her natural movement of coming upward and her face came to a halt merely inches from mine, glistening with running water.

"I wasn't doing that." She stated, taking a deep breath of air.

"I know." I answered in a whisper.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, her body coming in contact with my shirt-covered chest, water rolling off of her and drenching me. I stood up, oblivious to the water, gathered her in my arms, holding around her waist, and walked back to my bedroom. She could hear the sound of my bare feet in the water that was pooling down on the floor with each step I took.

"We're putting water everywhere." She observed, not as concerned as I could have imagined her to be.

I arched an eyebrow, looking at her with an expression that meant: '_so?_'

"Does it matter?" I asked, making it clear it didn't to me.

The ghost of a smile tugged at her lips, "I guess not.", she concluded.

I let her feet touch the wooden floor in the middle of mine, and I instructed stepping back: "Don't move."

In a quick movement of air that made her shiver, I was back with a large towel, encircling her. I allowed her to take the towel and I stepped back again, making it clear that she could, as in the bath, tend to herself. I went to her closet with the same rush of air and picked some comfortable clothes for the girl to wear.

She took on the task of drying herself and dressing herself, as I was watching, and when she was done, she looked at me with a small smile that vanished as fast as it had come, I could have missed it.

In its stead, another infamous blush took over her feature and her gaze fell down to my chest. I followed it myself and remembered I was soaked, my white shirt perfectly transparent. I crooked an eyebrow at Bella and she bit her bottom lip, avoiding my amused look.

I sighed aloud and rolled my eyes, walking to my closet this time, and simply grabbing another shirt of the same fashion, putting it on as I made my way back to her. Bella looked up again, her blush receding.

The next destination was the kitchen, it was time to feed the human. I opened my MacBook and pulled one of the recipe Esme had sent me to 'help' me keep the girl alive. Bella climbed on a comfortable bar stool and looked at me quizzically. I felt a fleeting second of satisfaction when she started gesturing for the computer before recoiling from her spontaneous idea. More curiosity, I liked it.

I picked up my phone from my back pocket and handed it to her.

"Why don't you give your dad a call, while I try to figure this out?" It was more than a suggestion.

She took a shaky breath and looked at the phone in her hand.

"I just thought today would be a good day to call him. You have things to tell when he asks you what you have done. Maybe it'll be more comfortable." I added calmly, trying to reassure her.

And in true Bella fashion, she answered softly: "oh... Okay."

She found her father's contact in my phone and I heard it ring a couple of times before Sherif Swan picked up:

"Uhm hi... Hi Rosalie"

"Hey Dad, it's me." Bella greeted him back.

"Hey Bells!" He then added enthusiastically, "How is it going?" He asked, trying to be casual.

She went on to tell him about her day, casting a couple of glances at me, here and there as she was answering her father's questions, whom sounded grateful to have 'things' to discuss. The Swans didn't appear to be easy conversationalists, especially over the phone.

I had minced and diced carrots and mushrooms, chicken breasts, onions and garlic, following each step carefully and making sure not to breathe in the disgusting odors. I kept myself occupied, giving Bella a semblance of privacy by looking distracted.

I was searing the chicken before reducing it in white whine adding the veggies and herbs following the instructions. The girl had hung up with her dad after fifteen minutes of what sounded like a good conversation. She was watching me cook for her, and I felt her gaze on my back.

"Dad says hi.", she said in a soft tone.

I didn't answer, focusing on the color of the onions, as per Esme's '_advice_', to know when I had to add the next ingredient, when I felt, more than heard, Bella lift the chef knife I had been using to prepare her dinner.

"Not tonight, Bella." I enunciated calmly, willingly not turning around to look at her, hearing her heart pump furiously as I spoke, and adding the last of things to the wok.

She swallowed, hesitating. I could reach her in time, I knew that, but I was giving her the chance to choose.

Her voice shook: "Rosalie?"

I turned around slowly, and looked into her eyes.

"Please, Bella." I whispered.

Her breathing itched and it was hard for her to keep steady for a couple minutes. She was looking at me, and the knife in her hand, alternatively, already inward, ready for her to stab herself.

She nodded and put the knife back on the counter of the kitchen island. It clinked against the marble, and she sat back on the stool. I took the culprit object away from her, and replaced it by a plate. The timer ringed and according to the recipe, the food was now ready for her to have.

I served Bella and took a seat myself, right in front of her, but not before washing my hands. I studied her and she studied me back. I was preparing for the battle of succeeding in feeding her, but she must have been hungry because she lifted up her fork and took a bite.

She smiled slightly, fighting tears: "it's good," she was looking intently at her plate, "thanks for cooking it."

I smiled, in case she wanted to look up, and said simply: "I am glad you like it."

I watched her in silence, as she ate, then as she cleaned her plate and placed it in the dishwasher. She took a drink of the glass of water I had placed in front of her, and she fell in a shy silence.

It wasn't late, but I could tell the events of the day had taken a toll on her. She needed to rest, and so I offered the possibility.

"Yeah, ok." She nodded, getting off her high chair and walking towards the stairs to the second floor.

We went to the bathroom first, teeth brushing and restroom, evening routine. She climbed into bed, under her covers, and I sat on the edge of the bed facing her.

"Thursday won't be as hard." I told her reassuringly.

She nodded and then she said, fidgeting with the covers: "Your eyes are black again. You didn't go hunt?"

"I did." I answered, bloodlust regaining its prime position in my awareness.

"Oh." She looked away, suddenly emotional. Obviously she was drawing conclusions with the information, she just didn't feel like sharing them.

"Do I scare you, Bella?" I inquired gently.

She flashed a sincere look at me and said firmly: "No."

'_Of course not_', I wanted to snap sarcastically, '_you foolish girl_'. If only she had been, like any other human, and stayed away, like any other human, following her survival instincts.

Bella was trying my patience, and my resolve. Greatly.

There had been some positive, I supposed, she wasn't bleeding to death on the kitchen floor or flattened mush, mess of blood and bones on the pavement. She had been to therapy and so far had not argued she wouldn't go back. She'd allowed me and herself to take care of her, she even had eaten and talked to her father. There had been some positive.

_'Take the good days when you can get them, Rosalie Hale._' I told myself, it would have to do.

Bella was lying down, her head resting on a pillow, she cautiously reached my hand with hers and pulled. I climbed onto the bed and lay down beside her. She turned on her side to face me and snuggled into me, her face in the crook of my neck, her leg between mine, her arms against my chest.

I wrapped her in my arms and caressed her hair lightly.

She inhaled and moaned softly: "You smell so good." There was an urgency and a hunger in her tone, she even grabbed at my shirt saying it.

"Don't go", she commanded.

I hugged her a little tighter, musing over the damage Edward, _we_, had inflicted on the young human. She pressed herself hard into me, breathing in staccato, her muscles working to pull me as close as she could get me.

I could feel her desperation, her need, her longing and her aching. I could feel it, exactly as it had felt when she had sucked on my skin the first day. Almost as if she had needed to take me in to feel capable of breathing, of being.

"Bella" I breathed in her hair.

"Hold me," she pleaded with me, "Rosalie..." She let my name fall in my ear a few times.

I held her, her desperation jabbing at my heart, I held her into me until she fell asleep, I held her for the night.

I held her until I heard a window being forced opened from outside and then a soft chuckle from the living room.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey... It's been a long time. I needed to stay away for a while, but I guess I missed writing, and I really don't like to leave things unfinished.

In any case, I would like to thank you for your reviews and encouraging PMs, your support and simply for taking the time to read.

Hopefully I am not too rusty...

C.


	15. Chapter 15: That's what she said

**Synopsis**: People should know better than to intrude on Rosalie Hale.

**Setting**: Seattle, Washington, Tuesday September 27th until late in the night.

**Warning**: The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

Bella was still very much clinging to me but I managed to disentangle myself from the girl without waking her. I stood still, listening carefully to the sounds in the living room, my senses alert. The soft laugh rang in my ear again. Whoever it was didn't have a heartbeat, so I collected myself to be ready for the fight to come.

"How is Bella?" Jaime's voice asked with a smile.

I was standing protectively over the girl, irritation swelling inside of me. She had nerves, I could give her that, showing up unannounced in another vampire's territory, in my _house_. Doing such was not a very smart move, but it was bold.

"Explain yourself." I commanded, making it clear I would not be patient. I walked over to the bedroom door, finding Jaime in my line of sight, resting comfortably by the fireplace in the living room.

She smiled at me, amused. "You are quite the feisty one, Kitty." She teased, using the endearment Carlisle preferred for me.

I was certainly not about to take the bait, but made a mental note to remind Carlisle that blabbering about my privacy was never going to help our '_relationship_'.

"I come in peace." She joked, raising her hand Vulcan way.

"The girl is breathing, you may leave now." I dismissed her.

She sighed, ignoring me. She took a few steps toward the center of the room, sitting herself in one of the armchairs.

"She is," Jaime mused, introspectively, "That is indeed remarkable." She went on, looking at me softly, her teasing smile still in place: "She is still breathing."

Jaime leaned back in the armchair and crossed her legs, looking at me silently. I saw the change in her eyes, the golden iridescence receding to a charcoal black. As black as mine were.

"What is it exactly?", she asked quizzically, "Lavender and?" She left hanging.

I rushed over to her, my right hand around her throat pushing her deeper into her seat, my left hand on the armrest. The wood cracked slightly, my face inches from hers.

"Freesia." I whispered menacingly. '_So much for not taking the bait_', I rolled my eyes at myself mentally.

"Divine." She concluded calmly. I felt her relaxed under my fingers, holding my murderous gaze with that soft, peaceful look she'd had since we first met. Amusement was sparkling in her eyes, here and there. She was studying me, and for a split of a second, I wondered if it was really Bella's scent she was referring to.

"Why are you here?" I asked coldly.

"To help." She answered simply.

I arched an eyebrow, skeptical.

"You are helpful by seeing Bella twice a week in therapy," I reminded her of her place, "supposedly."

She smirked and laced her fingers around my wrist by her throat. "To help _you_, Rosalie." She clarified.

"I don't need your help," I spat condescendingly, "You should leave now." I finished menacingly.

"You went hunting just a few hours ago and you already look like it's been weeks." She said seriously, a hint of empathy in her tone. "I spent two hours with her, and I never wanted to kill a human more than I wanted to kill this girl today."

She gently pulled on my wrist, willing me to let her go, but I gripped her tighter. I could feel my lips changing into a feral smile, my beast excited at the discomfort I was inflicting the provocative woman.

"You may be weak," I breathed, "but I, am a Hale."

"Yes, and as impressive as that sounds," she dismissed easily, "you need to hunt, _more_." She looked above my shoulder to my desk, and crooked an eyebrow, "Or did you intend to use these to tie her to a tree while you went about your business?"

She meant the handcuffs that Emmett had playfully given me before his departure and that were still sitting on my desk.

I snarled, "You don't know anything about me, or what I _need_," I countered, "not that it is any of your business."

I was done indulging her and her blatant lack of manners, or humility for that matter. The older woman was assuming too much and had exhausted the last of my patience. I lifted her up to her feet, and literally bolted down to the ground floor, above the railing, still holding Jaime by her throat. I freed her from my hand as she stumbled backward a couple of steps, ordering calmly:

"Get out."

She kept quiet for a moment, assessing me.

"I know you want to protect her," she tried, gentler as she readjusted her attire, "but this will only work if you trust me as well."

I snorted at that, "You have yet to earn my trust, dear." I sobered right away and added, "I doubt that Bella has any trust in you as of now."

"She doesn't," Jaime replied without hesitation, "but she is taking a chance with me." She paused and then said firmly: "I'll stay here, go hunt."

"No." I refused right away.

"I'll behave..." She coaxed seductively.

"No." I insisted.

"Rosalie," she was not playing anymore, "I don't know you, but I do not doubt your resolve nor your capacity." Jaime paused, her brow softening, "However, I have met Bella Swan, and, respectfully, even if just for her sake, you do need to hunt."

"She is mine to care for." I stated, making sure not a hint of possessiveness sipped through my tone.

"It appears so," Jaime agreed, "and she is my patient. Therefore, in the light of our common interest for her well-being, I suggest you reflect on the best way to do so."

The older vampire was smart after all, provoking me so. Jaime had gotten me right where she wanted. She was right about needing to hunt, and about not being able to keep myself properly fed without leaving Bella alone. I could not deny that if I hunted more, the girl would be safer, and she had now invoked the irrefutable reason why I should take her up on her offer.

In all fairness, I had already taken a chance on Jaime, when I had left Bella with her earlier. I would have to do it again, seeing that she had held up her hand of the bargain, even if I was reluctant to admit it. '_But never trust her with the girl_', I knew that to be true as well. Just like I could never trust myself with Bella either. I knew that I would not endanger her more, for after all she was in permanent danger around me anyway, that is, until something unfortunate would happen. It could happen and Bella's state and choices as of late made it all the most likely to occur.

Rationally, Jaime's suggestion was the safest one, the logical one. I just hated the idea of being away from Bella.

And that is exactly why I turned around, without a glance to Jaime, and went through the door to exit the Fire Station. I ran and came to a halt in the deep forest under Seattle, on the way to Forks.

Bella didn't want to be away from me, from her grasp on the reality that our kind existed. She needed me, for that, for her sanity, for her life, but not for me. So why would I be so reluctant to be away from her? It was not like food odors, swallowing venom by the barrel or having to be ever so gentle with her at all times, was comfortable and pleasant. I didn't know much about the girl herself, apart from the deep conflict and the pain within her.

Next week, I would start schooling Bella again, it was time. The girl needed to get back into the real world, especially after her little stunt with the knife. She had put it down, and that, above all else was a sign that she was regaining composure. She would most likely falter again here and there but maybe, if I managed to keep her involved, occupied, if I could challenge her to live, and if Jaime did her part, maybe it could work.

Bella had to do her part as well, she would be the instrument of her own well-being, no one else could be. We were just support. Our exchange before she fell asleep came back to my mind, _'that was not support_', the words echoed loudly in my thoughts. '_It was need, desperation_', I reasoned to myself, but my monster answered: _'It was desire_'.

I reflected upon that particular idea, how wrong it was, how good it would feel, how easy, '_no, not that easy_', I smirked slightly. There wasn't anything easy about Bella Swan, except killing her, of course. I felt a wave of self-loathing wash over me. The girl was my responsibility, she wasn't attracted to me, she was attracted to me being a vampire, and worse, she was Edward's left-over, Alice's '_BFF_'. Disgusting, irritating, simply a duty.

I killed a few deer, focused, forcing myself to make the deer blood taste better than it did. As I sank my teeth in the fourth deer, the one that was useless, merely exutory, the shattered breath of Bella Swan rang in my ears as she shivered under my finger tips, in my bathroom. I saw again how she was provoking me, holding her breath under water, so that I would come to her.

Her voice when she said: _"I wasn't doing that."_ She wasn't trying to die, or hurt herself, is what she meant, but she was doing _something_. I wondered if she was aware of what that something was, what that something could mean, if I let it.

I had taken her to my bathtub, in my side of the house, the side the girl wasn't supposed to come in. I took her into my intimacy and it wasn't to compensate or even things out because I was in her intimacy at all times. I wanted to break a barrier, so she could see that she meant something to me.

I wondered what Jaime would think of that, but I didn't need her to know that I was being weak.

Which reminded me that I had another chore to take care of. I took my cellphone and dialed Esme. She picked up after two rings.

"Rosalie, Darling, it's so good to hear from you." I could hear her motherly smile over the phone.

"Hello, Esme." I answered politely.

I heard the sound of a door opening and closing and then it was only her steps on snow, some branches rustling. She then said:

"There, it's just us now. Tell me everything." She encouraged real concern in her voice.

"Bella had her first therapy session today, I don't have much to report." I told her, regretting calling her already.

"I know about that," Esme said truthfully, "Jaime called earlier."

"She called you to tell you about Bella's session?" I asked, incredulous.

"Jaime called Carlisle, yes, and we talked for a while." She said carefully.

I felt a sting of anger reach me, the bitch hadn't bothered calling me for an update, or tell me anything when she broke into my house.

"Well, in that case, you certainly don't need me to call." I said, letting a hint of hurt coat my voice, because it was Esme.

She sighed and said softly: "Of course I need you to call, Darling, I always need to hear from you."

I kept quiet.

"I miss you, Rosalie." She told me sincerely.

I swallowed uselessly, an old fashion as to suppress my emotions I suppose. Maybe it simply gave me a pause.

I changed the subject: "How is Emmett?"

"Killing bears, being a goof, missing you." She told me, then said somewhat sarcastically: "Tanya is taking an interest in him, she needed something to make up for Edward not accompanying us."

"As long as it pleases Emmett." I said gently.

"Alice and Jasper are keeping to themselves. Alice is upset, although I don't think she thinks anyone has noticed besides Jasper. They want to leave as soon as possible." She kept updating me. "Your father is concerned, he frowns too much," Carlisle always did that when something bothered him. I could see Esme fussing over him, smoothing the lines of his brow so that he would stop. "And we all are missing you..." She finished, "but I miss you the most." She whispered with a note of longing in her beautiful voice.

Esme had forgotten to include herself, but I didn't need to hear it to know she was forlorn all together.

"You miss Edward more." I pouted, teasing her.

She muffled a small laugh and answered in fake indignation: "That is absolutely not true, I miss you sorely, why would I have sent Jaime over to you if not?" Esme knew me well, it was clever of her to admit to what she had done the way she chose to, before I were to bring it up angrily. I had not missed her absence of curiosity for my current whereabouts.

"So you were the one to send_ Her Rudeness_ over tonight." It wasn't a question, but I decided not to start a scene with Esme about it.

"I was worried for you." She disguised her apology.

I could have accused her of mistrusting me, but I knew she simply wanted to make things easier on me. She, too, had met Bella Swan.

Instead I said condescendingly: "I suppose it could be an agreeable arrangement," I paused, knowing full well I wouldn't be the one to let Jaime know of that, "until Bella can be trusted."

Esme chose not to comment and asked softly: "Would you tell me how you feel?"

Anyone with my sentiment would have answered '_I am fine_'. However, I am not just anyone and so I answered the truth, instead of faking how I really felt: "No," I didn't say it harshly, but I wanted her to know I wasn't trying to hurt her, "maybe another time Esme."

"Very well." She said regretfully.

"I should get back now," I told her so I could take my leave.

She sighed and her goodbye was tainted with emotion: "Be gentle to yourself, my Darling. I love you, Rosalie." She let it linger.

"Goodbye." I answered quietly.

"Bye, Sweetheart." She sounded sad, and it made me uncomfortable.

I rushed the next thing before she hung up: "Esme?"

"Yes?" She lit up, curious.

"I will call you again soon, if it pleases you." I told her sincerely.

She smiled in the phone, and she said vibrantly: "Yes, I would like that very much, but only if it pleases you too."

Esme hung up the phone, and a small smile slowly parted my lips. I rolled my eyes and chastised myself, I was getting soft, making a '_date_' with my mother.

And with that, I ran the way back to the Fire Station. I checked out the window that Jaime had forced, only to find it perfectly back in place. I let myself in through the front door and found Jaime on her way down as I was climbing the stairs to the first floor.

"Did she wake up?" I asked unceremoniously.

Jaime looked at me, her dark eyes clashing with mine, "No, not that I am aware of. She was conscious for a few minutes, but she didn't move at all."

I walked to the kitchen, it had been cleaned in my absence, and washed my hands. I patted my face as well, making sure I didn't have any blood on me.

"Do you lie down with her every night?" She asked, professional.

I looked at her, feeling myself grow defiant, I didn't want her judgement nor did I feel the need to explain myself, but I answered truthfully anyway: "Yes, I do."

She didn't extrapolate either, and simply walked past me to the stairs down.

"See you Thursday." She gave me as a goodbye. She disappeared through the door I had left unlocked and I was left musing about the older woman. She had trespassed into my house, manipulated me into doing something, and then she had cleaned up after us in the kitchen and fixed the window she had used to let herself in. Was she making up for her behavior? She had still manipulated me, I decided, albeit for a good thing, technically. I thought over the previous encounter and I realized that provoking me had been the best way to get me to go hunt, probably the only way, and I had let her.

I went to my room for a change of clothes, listening carefully to the gentle beating of Bella's heart. I looked at my book on the night stand, thinking I should pass the time until morning, until Bella awoke.

I decided to walk over to the girl's room. I needed to check on her, she was mine to care for.

Bella was laying on her side, the same way I had left her. I wondered if she was dreaming, if she had noticed my absence. She looked peaceful and for a moment I thought I should stay away.

Against my better judgement, I climbed on the bed, next to her. I pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear so I could see more of her face. I put my fingers close to her nose so that her warm breath would adjust the temperature of my fingertips. I traced her face delicately, touching her with reverence, marveling at the heat of her life running through her skin. She had very discreet freckles, and her lips were full. Her right eye was slightly higher than the left one, and her nostrils weren't even either. Nothing is identical in human 'pairs': ears, nostrils, hands or toes, eyes, or teeth for example. Humans don't usually notice it, but I like to think that it is proof that they are, we are, I guess, all unique.

I was tracing her chin and the line of her jaw when she said, extirpating me from my wonderings: "You left me."

It wasn't exactly reproachful, but I could hear her anguish. Her eyes opened and I saw her pupils retract as she refocused her sight on me. She, no doubt, noticed the gold of my eyes. She took her bottom lip between her teeth and I saw the same hunger, the same need as earlier grow in her irises.

She was blushing hard by then, and at that distance, she saw and heard me swallow the venom that had flooded my mouth. I still had my fingers on her face, and I thought for a moment to take my hand away from her, but instead, I cupped her cheek, hoping to cool it down. She leaned into my touch, still staring at me, as if transfixed by what I had done. I sneaked my left arm under her, around her waist, and I scooped her into me, allowing her leg between mine as she wrapped her hands around my neck.

Bella was blushing intensely, but she didn't look embarrassed, she looked conflicted, she looked shyly conflicted.

"I did." I said softly, not willing to tell her anything specific. I didn't want her to know what I had been doing, it didn't matter if my eyes were gold. I didn't want her to assume I had left, or not, that it had been a few minutes or a few hours before she noticed I wasn't holding her anymore. I didn't want to give her leverage.

A flash of anger passed through her deep brown eyes, but she said nothing.

"I am here, sleep now, Bella." I ordered gently.

She pulled her face into my neck, wrapping her arms fully around my neck this time. I swallowed more venom, as she sighed a contented moan. My right hand left her cheek to rest on the small of her back as I secured her into me firmly, as to intensify my statement.

Her scent was everywhere, and for a moment that felt interminable, I felt trapped, entangled in the girl as I was, burning like wildfire through every pore of my skin. I swallowed another couple of times, unable to contain the venom in my mouth until she had fallen asleep.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, no doubt about the swallowing.

"Yes, it does." I answered somberly. I wished I wouldn't have had to admit it.

As if on queue, another flow of venom forced me to swallow hard. She delicately shifted her face into my neck, and unexpectedly, her lips pressed to my throat, where my larynx moved every time I swallowed. She nudged my chin, gently, with the tip of her nose so I would lift it up and give her more access. I complied, meekly, even if somewhere in my mind I was aware of my scoffing at being meek, so much I was enthralled at her... Boldness? Sensuality?

Bella kissed my throat again, living a trail of delightful warmth with every touch of her lips. She shivered in my arms and I felt the need to break the spell before I got to the point where I would move on from being possessive to claiming her.

She must have felt it because she rested her face back to where it was before and relaxed in my arms.

"He never admitted to that," she said, the tone of remembrance in her raspy and sleepy voice, "although I could tell he was really uncomfortable around me a lot of times."

She went on, "The first time we met, in biology, he put his hand on his nose and mouth, and he looked like he was going to be sick. I thought I was stinking or something."

I chuckled at that, visualizing the scowl Edward had on, that day, when he stormed into the mansion, miffed that it had happened to him, the weakness of being confronted to your singer. He was very annoyed and intrigued, incredibly intrigued because he could not penetrate the girl's thoughts.

"You smell incredibly good, Bella." I told her, not without kindness,"It would even be delectable, really, if it didn't make vampires wanting to, well, consume you, if I may say."

"So," she lifted her head to look at me then, "you want to eat me?"

I couldn't help, (let's say it replaced the laughter), the devilish grin that appeared on my mouth. And yes, I wanted to eat her. Very much so. Though, I wasn't so sure she fully understood all the ways I wanted to eat her.

I looked at her, smirk in place, and answered matter of fact, (I just had to...): "Yes," I nodded, "and drink from you too. Every. Last. Drop."

She heard what I said, and I saw her thoughts form, until the understanding of what I had insinuated tilted in her mind and showed in her eyes.

She looked horrified in shame and embarrassment. A blushing blaze took over every inch of her skin, from her mid-section to the tip of her ears, and her left hand flew to her mouth.

I laughed out loud and I took her hiding hand in mine, revealing her mouth to me once again.

"I am sorry," she blurted out, "I didn't mean..."

I interrupted her, more seriously, "Don't apologize. You didn't say anything wrong."

She looked chagrined and hung her head lower. I let go of her hand and lifted her chin carefully, so she would be looking at me once more.

"Do you think I was mocking you?" I asked, challenging her.

She looked sideways, having a hard time holding my gaze and I could feel her hesitation rolling off of her.

"Bella, look at me." I told her firmly.

She held my gaze this time.

"Do you?" I insisted.

"Yes." She whispered, water gathering at her eyes.

"I was having fun with you, not making fun of you." I explained, "Do you understand the difference?"

"Yes," she trembled, and I raised an eyebrow, "no, maybe?" She finished, vanquished.

I cupped her cheek, allowing my thumb to gently caress her skin, "You said something amusing, innocently, I found it quite cute and endearing." I added with a smile, "It made me want to laugh, and I wanted you to understand what you said, so you could laugh with me, see?"

"Oh." She answered timidly.

"I should be the one apologizing for making you so uncomfortable." I told her in earnest.

She looked horrified again, as if the idea of Rosalie Lillian Hale apologizing was some sort of sacrilege.

Before she could say anything, I said, not without regret: "If it had been Alice, with you right now, you would have laughed with her."

"Uh... I..." She thought for a moment, sadness growing in her eyes, "I would have blushed, and definitely been totally embarrassed. But yeah, I think I would have laughed."

I chewed on that for a few seconds when she spoke again:

"But not because you aren't funny or anything," she looked at me tentatively, "it's just that, I know Alice better, I can tell when she is playing. I know when she is having fun with me or making fun of me."

"But you don't know me." I whispered. It was true, and it was how I had wanted it to be, but right then, it made me feel like I would have to change that, possibly.

"You are very serious," she explained, "very..."

"Hale?" I suggested.

She nodded, "Yes, very Rosalie."

I smiled, a little.

She was quiet, looking introspectively, and I could see she was thinking. Suddenly her blush came back, and after I swallowed hard, I saw her look into my eyes, furtively. I figured she was thinking of what I had said, now that we had cleared up the confusion that what she had said was funny in itself. I had said I wanted her, and she understood in which ways. I had meant it, despite the laugh, or I wouldn't have said it at all. She knew me enough to know that much.

"You should sleep now, Bella." I interrupted her thoughts and the possible conversation they could bring.

"Okay." She sighed.

She readjusted in my neck and I felt her eyelids close against my skin.

I also readjusted her in my arms, holding her gently but letting her know I had her safely against me.

"I would never make fun of you, Bella." I whispered intently in her ear, making sure she knew that she could trust that.

* * *

**A/N**: Did you guys think Rosalie would ever use the handcuffs to be ale to go hunt? I have to admit, I was amused when some people suggested the mysterious intruder was Edward...

Edward will not appear (as far as I am aware at the moment) in this story, although it's amusing here and there to write Edward.

I can't say anything definitive about the handcuffs...


	16. Chapter 16: In my fucking car

**Synopsis:** A surprising day and an interesting drive lead Rosalie and Bella to an unexpected turn of events.

**Setting:**Seattle, Washington, Friday 28th of October 2005

**Warning:** The story is rated M for violent, sexual and all together adult content.

* * *

Bella was fuming: "Rosalie! I am not a child!"

I smiled, arching an eyebrow: "It really is a matter of perspective, dear, and very debatable."

Bella was red with anger, stomping her foot, clenching her hands in fists, very agitated and hissing with frustration.

She breathed in, trying to reason with me, "Look, Rosalie, it's been like what? A month now?"

It was a rhetorical question, but I answered anyway: "Forty one days, to be precise." Precision is an overlooked quality.

"Right," she went on, "it's been long enough. I know that you said you would take care of me, and you are, and thank you for that," she looked at me with resolve, "but honestly, Rosalie, I can go to the bathroom on my own, alright?"

"I don't think so." I replied evenly.

"God!" She seethed rolling her eyes and looking at me in anger, "What else do I have to do? I mean, I go see Jaime, I do the schooling thing with you, we go out, I spend time with my dad and I even call my mom." She sounded exasperated.

I was rather unmoved by her arguments.

"I haven't done anything like that, like before, in weeks! I am trying here, okay?!" She yelled, "I am tired of being a freaking prisoner!" Water was gathering in her eyes.

That struck a chord. I didn't want her to feel trapped, only safe.

I answered calmly, "You are not a prisoner, Bella, but you have been a danger to yourself."

"I know you don't trust me to be alone," she told me, a bitterness sneaking in her tone, "but how am I ever going to be better if you don't let me try?"

I thought about her demand for a moment. I already knew that at some point I would have to take chances and let her be on her own again. I had not thought about it being so early. I wanted to check with Jaime if she thought the girl was ready, I wanted to feel comfortable with thinking, myself, that the girl was ready. I wanted to be as sure as possible before doing anything, but here we were, having to look at the issue spontaneously.

She took my silence for a prompt to go on and offered: "It doesn't have to be about everything at once, but maybe you could let me do some things?"

"Define _some things._" I requested.

"Okay so, like going to the bathroom, for one, or brushing my teeth, or making my own breakfast." She huffed at that, "Like seriously what do you want me to do with a bowl of cereal, milk and a spoon?"

Again, it was rhetorical, but I contemplated giving her a list anyway. It also crossed my mind to tell her that starting a sentence with '_Like_' was not in any way more appropriate than starting one with '_Okay_', but I decided that both idea might be counterproductive at the time.

She cut me off with: "Never mind, don't answer that." She carried on, "I wouldn't mind being able to shave on my own too, and..."

I interrupted her immediately: "Absolutely not."

Bella rolled her eyes, and I smiled inwardly, wondering if she was starting to, intuitively, imitate the gesture that was so familiar to me, although I never let her observe me in the deed.

I looked at her for a second, studying her features. She was not lying to me, but it did not mean she would not find herself depressed and try something self-destructive, she had before. Either way, the girl was right, she had to start somewhere.

I turned around and walked toward the door of her bedroom.

"I'll see you downstairs." I said simply.

"Oh." She answered, surprise coloring her tone and cheeks.

I left the room, not without swallowing, hard, but without another word, and made my way down the stairs. She went about her business, in the bathroom, getting ready for the day, she even made her bed. I was sitting comfortably in one of the armchairs on the first floor living room, paying careful attention to her each and every move.

Bella graced me with her presence about twenty minutes later. She saw me sitting, apparently absorbed in a book and went on to the kitchen. She opened the pantry, and found one of the different types of cereals she favored. She then went to the fridge for milk, 2%, and set them up on the kitchen island. She got a bowl and a spoon. The girl prepared her breakfast, settled herself on a bar chaise, and filled my ears with her crunchy munching sounds.

A month had past, not without a futile attempt at her hurting herself around the fireplace, but otherwise filled with progress. She had been seeing Jaime twice a week, always for 2 hours, but we had yet to discuss any of it. She sometimes mentioned some things the therapist wanted her to do, or more accurately, she sometimes rebelled to my directions, using some of what Jaime had said in their sessions. The older woman had kept to her routine of visiting me at night, every couple of days to watch over Bella while I hunted. We had exchanged phone numbers as well, in case need would be dire.

Charlie had visited one weekend, with baseball tickets to the Mariners, compliment of Esme, he had said. Bella had laughed again, for the first time that Saturday, something to do with her father, hot-dog and ketchup. They had told me around dinner at the Fire Station, and she had smiled at me reminiscing it. They talked on the phone about once a week, their shy and short conversations, around school and outings, his brave "_I love you, Bells_" at the end of each conversation, and his greetings for me, every time, right before that.

Renee's calls were more erratic, she never phoned from the same place, never at regular intervals, but she seemed genuine and she entertained Bella with her stories of life on the road, and of the minor league baseball player she was married to. Bella did not mention either of her parents much, she did not mention missing them, at least not to me. I knew better though, she missed the normalcy, the security of being with her father, the sense of home.

The girl was starting to make herself comfortable though, in our living arrangements. She would leave her books on her bedside table, and she had her organization on her desk, where she studied. She enjoyed the new laptop I had gotten her, and when we had started her homeschooling, Bella had proven rather studious. She did not complain, she studied, but she had shown little interest. She was going through the motions, because it was required and that is what she had always done, but the witty student Edward had described was absent from her.

I held her every night. She dreamed a lot, nightmares often. She clung to me as if her life depended on it, but for me, the hell that was Bella Swan never receded. One would think that I would be getting used to it by then, but there was no getting used to her. All I was getting used to was tolerating her, every single moment of her life, bending my will to keep her alive. It really had nothing to do with the blood, and everything with my choice. I was often thinking about Edward, how hard it was for him every day that passed, even harder than the first time he had met her. He did not even have to think about choosing her alive after a while, he would do it, no matter what. It had little to do with her blood, the blood lust would always be a constant, only the desire to keep her. That was bigger than wanting her dead, it made not drinking her, essential.

_I_ did not want to _keep_ her. _I_ wanted to _possess_ her. It made self-control somewhat complicated, and definitely excruciating. It had to be done though, and so, irrevocably, I chose her life over her blood, over my beast, over possessing her to death. What was worse though, is that the girl wanted me. She knew I could kill her at all times, yet her body, her silence... She hungered for me, for the darkness in me, the cold of my dead skin. It was another battle we were playing, on another level, one she wasn't always aware of, but I was. I was always aware, and she was pushing, she was inching in, with every look under soft lashes, with every fistful of my shirt she had to grip, with every dazzled moment of her breathing me, with every time she said my name.

She didn't know me, but she had not needed more than a few days to understand the fundamental differences between Edward and me, even between Alice and me. I was learning her, sometimes I wondered if she was not simply enjoying flirting with death. Maybe she had this fascination for her own darkness, the one she had discovered hanging from the shower frame of her bathroom. I was learning her, yet I knew the girl she was before, the one my brother and sister loved, that girl was dead, and another one had woken from my breath in her lungs.

Maybe the girl, with me, maybe she was the true Bella, broken hearted, despondent, clinging to death for dear life, angry, reckless, struggling with herself. She was a child, growing up, and I wanted to fuck the daylight out of her, sometimes just to instill the fear of God inside of her. She was playing games, the game of faking it till she made it, the game of faking to be good so she could be allowed leeway, the game of faking resignation and disinterest so she didn't have to acknowledge the appalling sadness and hurt that tugged at her heart.

Bella was resisting, denying, looking desperately for something to hang on to and ride the storm out. I certainly did not need Jaime to tell me that much, not that she was anyway. She would let us know, and by us I mean Carlisle and I, sometimes Charlie, the overall progress, diagnostic and treatment methods, the few big steps coming up or already tackled, but nothing more. Bella's trust was crucial, and that was why Jaime talked to me the least. I could not afford Bella stepping away from Jaime.

The munching paused, and a small voice said: "it's Halloween this weekend."

"Yes, it is." I answered what was not a question.

She rinsed out her bowl and put it in the dishwasher. "I have that essay to write, about Romeo & Juliet..." She was walking toward the stairs of the second floor and I got up to follow her.

Once upstairs, she paused to see if I was going to get involved but I went past her to my bedroom, leaving her be, in the study area.

"Let me know if you need help." I tossed at her casually.

Some of Bella's friends had called her, texted her, even that Quileute boy, Jacob Black. It was Halloween weekend, she had said. Bella was not the partying type, not the social type either, at least not from what I gathered since she had moved from Arizona.

I took out my phone and dialed Chief Swan, who picked up quickly: "Hi Rosalie?" He thought that maybe I was Bella, like it had happened many times.

"Hello, Charlie." I answered gently.

He cleared his throat softly and asked, a note of worry in his tone: "Everything alright with Bella?"

"Yes, she is studying right now." I reassured him, before explaining the reason for my call: "I was wondering if you would be available for Bella to visit Forks this weekend."

"Yeah... Sure!" He enthused. "Do you want me to pick her up?"

"No, we'll drive down. I haven't told her anything yet." I supplied right away, "I'll stay at the mansion though, I need to take care of a few things."

He didn't protest but told me anyway: "You're welcome to stay with us, if you'd like to. We can figure it out."

I thanked him warmly, "I'll be fine, Charlie, thank you."

"I know Bella has received some calls from her friends in Forks, maybe it would be good for her to visit with some of them over Halloween?" I suggested.

"You think she'll want to?" He answered, concerned.

I observed a pause in the conversation, to appear thoughtful: "Maybe just a couple of them, so she is not overwhelmed."

"Okay, I'll let it be known that Bella is coming over." He told me, content to have his little girl for a couple of days.

"We will get to Forks in the evening," I said as a parting, "enjoy the rest of your day sir."

"Drive safely," he told me fatherly, "see you soon, Rosalie."

We hung up and I ghosted to Bella's room to pack her clothes and toiletries. I intentionally made myself discreet, wanting to surprise the girl. She was quite engrossed in her literature essay when I sped to the ground floor to put her luggage and mine in the trunk of my car. I figured she could pack her back pack herself, she was not four after all and I really did not feel like a repeat of our morning conversation.

It was lunch time before I saw Bella again, coming down the stairs to have some lunch, only to find it had been prepared for her.

"Thank you." She said, sitting down and picking up her fork. She was hungry, and it made me glad that what I could put together for her was not nearly as repulsive as it smelled and looked to me. I was mostly glad for her appetite, she had probably never had a big one, but she had stopped losing weight and looked healthier, which I was grateful for.

I let her eat most of her plate before I asked gently: "Would it be agreeable if we spent the weekend in Forks?"

She looked at me surprised, maybe a little frightened, "At my dad's?" She asked quietly.

"You would be staying with your father, yes." I answered.

"But you'll stay with me, right?" Anguish constricted her throat.

I walked around the island and stood by her, "Yes, I will watch over you."

She took a few breaths, calming her heart, "Is it some sort of test?" She asked with a frown.

"No Bella, it is not a test, just an occasion for you to spend time with your father and maybe even your human friends." I suggested.

"Oh..." she mouthed, Bellaesque, and panic edged her features, "I don't think I am ready. I won't know what to say. I don't want to tell them what happened." She looked at me in horror.

"I don't want to go!" She cried out, throwing her arms around my neck, hiding her face in my chest, trembling.

I patted her back softly, giving her time to breathe and relax. "You don't have to explain anything, Bella, and you don't have to visit with all of your friends, or even any of them. You can just enjoy being home with your father." I reassured her, lifting her chin up so she could look at me, an arm around her waist.

"They already know, don't they?" She asked me, suddenly.

I considered her calmly, "Most likely, yes."

She looked sad, annoyed at the idea of being the center of unwanted attention.

"Are you going to make me?" She looked at me, preparing for a fight.

"No, I won't force you, Bella, but I would like you to accept." I explained.

"Why?" She asked, her shoulders fell, with her eyes.

She knew why. She had discussed it with Jaime, I had a feeling. She was dreading being there, but once she were, she would feel better for it.

The girl looked back up, sorrow in her eyes, and I held her gaze, with what I hope she would understand as warmth: "Because it's the healthy thing to do. I don't want you to be isolated here, with me. You need to be around humans, Bella, around young people your own age."

"Some people will judge you, but your friends won't, if their care is true. You are a student at Fork's High, Bella, you will have to go back eventually, even if it is only to graduate. Don't you think it is a more powerful disposition for you to reappear on your own terms?"

She pondered that for a moment, and lowering her gaze she relinquished: "I guess."

I wanted to make her stand and have a real opinion. Certainly more than a meek '_I guess_', but there would be other times for that battle.

"Then it is settled?" I inquired, quirking an eyebrow in askance.

"Okay." She breathed out, yielding.

I smiled at her, reassuringly: "Very well then." And I added gently, "You will be alright Bella, and I am here with you."

"Why don't you go prepare the things you want to take with you for the weekend?" I looked at her with a cocky grin, since I had prepared her luggage, I might as well own it in my own way, "I already packed you a suitcase."

She blushed and glared at me, in some sort of attempt at disapproval, and when she only saw my raised eyebrow, she closed her mouth without retort and turned around, up the stairs to her bedroom.

It was an hour later when we were settled in my M3, gliding down the road to Forks, a quiet, nervous Bella sitting by my side. She was looking out the window, tentative, and I wasn't pushing her, she would talk when she felt she could.

I was engrossed in my thoughts, if that is a term one could apply to vampires, considering that we are capable of focusing above human capacity on many things at once. I was thinking about the weekend, and enjoying the possibility of a little freedom myself. I was thinking about Bella's truck, and how I could maybe have a look at it. I had always wanted to open the hood of that old collector so I could get a good look. I had installed the sound system in the truck for the girl's birthday. The one Emmett had bought for her. I remembered noticing that it had been fixed up a bit, by someone one who, albeit an amateur, was not half-bad at mechanics.

"Bella?" I required her attention, "Who did you get your Chevrolet truck from?"

She tore her eyes from the window to look at me with little countenance, apparently confused by my question.

"uhm… My dad?" She tried.

I scoffed a bit, "Yes, I gathered that much, thank you." I asked again impatiently, "I meant, do you know whom your father got it from?"

"Oh!" she exhaled, understanding showing on her face, "He bought it from Billy Black on the reservation, why?" She was curious, that was unexpected.

I would have enjoyed it, but the thought of Bella's truck coming from the Quileute was unnerving.

"Do you know if someone did any work on it before it was passed on to you?" I inquired, ignoring her mention of one of the Quileute tribe chieftain family.

She shifted in her seat toward me, resting her attention first on my right hand on the clutch and then on the upper part of my body.

There was a heat emanating from her, like a shift in her temperature. I had felt it at certain times, the days before, but it was increasing. The heat wasn't a fever, but it was all over her, and I could not quite place its origin.

"Yes, that would be the handy work of Jacob." She smiled a little; it was obvious Bella was very fond of her truck. "He is really good at mechanics apparently." The smile lingered on, and I thought bitterly that maybe the girl wasn't only fond of the old car.

And then it hit me.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I swore through gritted teeth, and pushed on the gas pedal.

Bella looked offended, "I am not sure what you, I mean the Cullen, have against the Quileute or Jacob for that matter, but…"

I interrupted her with a roll of my eyes, "Bella, I could not care less about your friend right now." And truly the boy would have been a welcomed nuisance instead of this… mess.

She was looking at me angrily, but her annoyance made way to fear when she realized how fast I was driving. It then turned to panic when the car drifted to a muscled halt on the side of the road, at the beginning of a clearing.

"Rosalie?" She whispered, scared of my immobility and the predatory rumbling in my chest.

She made to touch me and parted her legs to lean closer to me.

"Don't touch me!" I growled at her menacingly. "Keep your legs closed." I ordered.

She looked at me dumbfounded, hurt, but did as she was told.

I was comparing all possible scenarios and, at that moment, the different outcomes were all lethal.

Her blush attacked me full force, and a strangled whine escaped my mouth.

"Rosalie, I am so sorry, Rosalie." Apologized a now fully caught-up Bella.

"Of all times, of all places…" I seethed, holding my breath for her sake. "You had to start right fucking now!"

"In. My. Fucking. Car!" I roared and zoomed out of my side of the M3 to her door.

I grabbed her forcefully, and threw her out of my car. She stumbled and fell, as I towered over her.

"Rosalie…" She whimpered.

The anger, the lust, the blood… it was all too much. The few drops of her menstrual blood in her underwear were screaming to me as loudly as that idiotic paper cut that had started all of this madness. Louder, actually, because then, I was able to walk away, I was indifferent to the human girl.

She was scared, of me, and she should have been.

"Rosalie…" She called to me, tears in her voice.

I lifted her with my hands under her armpits. I straightened her back to her feet. She faltered slightly but I had her in my grip, until she realized I was a few yards away crashing into a tree. Then another.

I could not leave her. I could not be with her.

She walked toward me, to the natural stony wall of the hill following the trail of a few uprooted trees. I was facing an especially large sequoia tree, thinking to myself that it was quite old, that I shouldn't hurt it.

Bella extended a hand toward my shoulder, and I allowed it, feeling that any of my movement could be the last of my will.

"Have you not any sense of self-preservation, girl?" I whispered.

"You won't hurt me, Rosalie." She said to me, as inexorable as death.

I laughed, sardonically, "Is that what you told Edward, too?"

"Yes," She answered, "but you are stronger than him."

I laughed again, at the irony, "Yes, I am."

I swiftly put my hand on the one she had on my shoulder and pulled her into my arms, her back against the sequoia tree, my arms encircling her waist, pressing her into me.

"I am not Edward." I told her with a wicked smile that would have made any human pee themselves. She wasn't any human though, she was Bella. Deep inside, Bella Swan was surrounded in darkness, and she was as tempted as I was.

A surge of blood flooded her underwear, mixed with arousal. The scents were entirely distinct but incredibly alluring mixed as one. It was sipping through her cotton panties, reaching her inner thighs, and I was aware of the magnificence of its movement as if I was watching the blood dripping out of her.

It was insanely. I was transfixed, looking into her eyes, her feverish eyes, as she was breathing, ragged, her breath just under my chin, her breast pressed into my chest, her hands on my shoulders.

I pressed her harder into me, painfully so and she moaned. The blood was reaching her jeans, attacking the fabric.

"Rosalie…" She breathed, leaning closer to my face, her lips ghosting mine, "Why don't you ever touch me?"

"I touch you every single day, Bella." I said, my voice hoarse.

"But you don't." She shied, lowering her gaze, blushing ablaze all over again.

The beating of her heart was so loud. I could feel it fight against her ribs, against the pressure I was applying to her body. I wanted her so terribly much, I considered crushing her into my arms, making her mine, as the cracking of her bones brought her heart closer to the dead organ resting in my chest.

I moved my right hand to the front of her, between us, and I ripped off her shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra, probably an unconscious thought as to relieve the sensitivity of her breast, sore from the hormones at work in her body. I let my hand down to the hem of her jeans and ripped them open down to her hips.

She gasped but said nothing, made no move, her hands firmly pressed on my shoulders.

I let my hand to her hip, inside of her jeans and ripped it free to her bottom. I slid my fingertips inside her panties and after ripping the side of them, I cupped her ass cheek. I massaged her butt firmly and she breathed in hard, biting her bottom lip.

My hand caressed to the back of her thigh and I lifted her leg to my hip, stopping my fingertips to the back of her knee, widening the opening of her jeans all the way down with the movement.

Blood rushed out of her, more wetness melted to it, and I hissed, pressing her core to mine in a harsh way. She would bruise for sure, but it was better than killing her, and I was starting to think that Bella, sweet and innocent Bella as she was, would love it rough.

Instinctively, the girl had clasped her leg around my hip, and she was seeking friction with the little movement she was allowed. I could feel the general momentum she was looking for, more than her actual hips moving.

She moaned, and I exhaled a path on her jaw line, to her ear.

"If I touch you now, little girl, I will kill you." I whispered sultrily.

With her leg secured to my waist, almost painfully so, I used my right hand to caress her side delicately, leaving goose bumps behind me. I reached her left breast and cupped it gently.

She shot wide eyes at me, surprised, as I smiled to her, teasing her nipple. I massaged her breast strongly enough that she was feeling pleasure and pain at the same time, enjoying the look of desire and submission in her brown pools of burning lust, and fear.

"Ahhh…" She cried out when my hand firmly squeezed her and I pressed her into my hips as hard as she could take it.

I released her breast and trailed her heaving chest and stomach to her pubic bone. I rested my hand flat on the birth of her pubic hair, merely an inch away from her core, feeling the heat from her blood and her wetness.

"I am going to kill something else than you." I said, predatorily, giving one flick of my right middle finger to her erect clit, effectively making her bolt into my body.

"You, will go wait for me by the car, do you understand?"

She nodded softly into my neck.

"I didn't hear you." I commanded, clacking my jaw in her ear.

She whimpered and answered right away: "Yes."

"Yes, whom?" I asked, relentless, my beast roaring with satisfaction inside of my chest.

"Yes, Rosalie." Bella let out submissively.

"Good girl." I concluded, satisfaction in my voice.

I tore myself off of her excruciatingly. I ran as fast I could, far enough away from Bella that the buzz of my hunt wouldn't take me right back to the girl.

Leaving her was unsafe, unwise, unfair and so incredibly cruel to both of us. It made it difficult to focus on finding an animal, anything big enough to be manhandled, that I could kill and consume. I was vibrating with anger and concern. I was trying hard to ignore the analytic autopsy that was going on in my mind.

'_How could you fucking forget about her periods?'_ I screamed at myself, _'You blistering idiot!'_ I could not fathom how I managed to let such a huge issue slip my mind, although I knew _exactly_ how. Educated people in the human mind call it denial. _'You were so concerned about not fucking her, that doing so became the focus of your consciousness.'_

A couple of deer crossed my path and died without a moment of thought. I had to get back to Bella. I was confident that she would do what she had been told. The shock of what had happened would most likely help, until it wore off.

The question that remained entirely to be faced was how I was going to handle the duration of Bella's menstruation cycle, this time, and the ones to come.

I stopped at the edge of the clearing nearing my car, observing the girl. She had gotten a new shirt, and a big sweater, as well as jeans, from her suitcase. I watched her adjust herself in her pants, visibly uncomfortable.

She spotted me after I approached the car at human pace. I didn't stop but walked slowly to her. The girl didn't flinch or back away, but her eyes looked worried.

"Are you in pain?" I asked, ashamed somehow.

"I am cramping a little." She told me, embarrassed.

I took the soiled clothes she had discarded to the side of the car and speedily retrieved a gas lighter in the glove compartment. I took a few stepped to a stone and lit the shirt on fire on top of her other elements of clothing, safe from spreading the fire to anything else around.

Once I was confident the clothes would burn properly, I walked back to the car and opened the passenger door to Bella. She came around to her side but stopped before climbing in:

"I found a pad in my backpack, I always keep a couple, but… Could we stop at a pharmacy? I will need more."

I nodded, and gave her a soft smile.

She climbed in the car and fastened her seat-belt.

Standing by the driver door, I inhaled deeply, fresh and untainted forest air, knowing that I would have to hold my breath for days, to endure and speak as little as possible, to hold her and will myself to remain sane.

For Bella.

* * *

**_A/N_**: First, I would like to apologize for the wait you had to go through for this chapter. It's not that I am sorry it took so long, because I don't believe in rushing the writing process, but I am sorry it made some of you anxious that I might not update again.

Secondly I wanted to thank the people leaving reviews. I usually write to the people who review my stories, if just to say thank you, but it's difficult to answer reviewers without accounts. It seems the number of anonymous reviews is growing, and so I felt I could leave a note for my readers here.

About reviews... I have to say it is nice to get some love, and I wouldn't want to discourage anyone to express themselves but, I am so very curious about the whys. You see, the love is nice and thank you for it, but the why you think you love my story, or this chapter? That's priceless. Why tells me many things, and it helps me in my writing, any kind of criticism is helpful in a way or another.

Have an opinion, it's good for you, positive or negative, it's good for you, and it's good for me, and you can even leave it anonymously.

Thank you for reading, and coming back, even when I take a while to write.

See you next time,

C.


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